I realize that the very nature of writing this post is contrary to my big plan but I’m going to write it anyway; because I don’t think I’m alone when I say, “Enough is enough times infinity.”

Over the weekend, the story broke that Kim Kardashian was getting divorced from Kris Humphries. That “news” is so widespread by now that I didn’t even have to look up how long her marriage lasted to confirm that the union lasted 72 days. It is a number that is burned in my brain thanks to all the Twitter jokes and snide Facebook remarks, the links shared and re-shared, the pithy quotes about how much was made per day in this “marriage for money”, and the countless headlines that abound when you dare to search her name in Google. What makes me pause, though, are the comments written beside many of those shared links: “I am so tired of hearing about these Kardashians.”

I want to believe that there is a back room somewhere filled with media’s most brilliant minds and that these great purveyors of news  are sitting in clouds of cigar smoke, deciding what is and is not news. I want one of them to wave her pork pie hat in the air and say something to the effect of, “See here, kids. This Kardashian brood has got to go, see? They’re just not worthy of reporting, see? Let’s vote here and now to end these stories before they start.” (Fact: this room may or may not exist in the 1930s.)

Even barring intervention from the bigger news outlets and blog conglomerates, there is hope that this will all pass on its own– what we call The Kidney Stone treatment of gossip mongering.  After all, Paris Hilton dissolved into a non-story before our eyes. But do we really have to sit passively and wait for evolution to take its course with the Kardashian brood? No. No, we do not.

Here now is my battle cry: Let’s stop the Kardashians now. Let’s take a page from Occupy Wall Street and, instead, let’s “Occupy Gossip.”  Let’s say “No” to the endless barrage of stories about whether or not the wedding guests will get their gifts back or what went wrong or what Khloe and Kourtney have to say in response. Let’s fight back.

Here’s how you can help:

• See a link to a Kardashian story? Don’t click on it.
• In the supermarket and itching to pick up the latest Kardashian-centered issue of People? RESIST. Back away. Buy a candy bar instead. A Milky Way is way better for your mental and emotional health, trust me.
• Peruse the other sections of sites like Gawker (if you can navigate it, that is). I’m sure there are other gossip-related bits that can sate your appetite for other people’s private lives. Hey, I hear Scarlett Johansson talks about those scandalous pictures! Go and read that instead! Trust me, even Scarlett would back this play.
• Don’t share any Kardashian-related links on Facebook and Twitter. Keep your conspiracy theories, your jokes, your puns, your cutting hashtags to yourself. Write about puppies instead. (One exception: Do send this to your local government representative if they are of the more conservative persuasion because it is a valid statement on our society.)
• Give up E! for the duration of the holiday season. Just because the executives at E! fall to the knees of this trifling family, doesn’t mean we, as a nation, have to– let’s fight back with our viewer numbers.

When a marriage fails, it’s a sad affair. Most of the time, famous people release a statement about their relationship status and respectfully request a little privacy through “this difficult time.” I know Kim didn’t exactly ask for that but, hey, let’s give it to her anyway. Think of it like the wedding gift that just keeps on giving. It will be a gift for us too.

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