This weekend saw a heated, angry debate on the amount of vitriol in American political discussion. With so many on the right and left cutting political hay over the actions of a certifiable nut job and trying to use an insane tragedy as a political tool with which to attack their opponents, we missed one of the really “feel good” stories that helps reaffirm your faith in the inherent goodness of mankind.
Recently, I found myself thinking of Caterina Valente, a singer who had some hits back in the ’50s. One of those hits was “Jalousie,” by the Danish composer Jacob Gade. This may not be the only tango written by a Dane, but it certainly is the most famous one. In fact, “Jalousie” is one of the most popular songs ever.
I mention this because a few days after Valente’s named popped into my head — for no discernible reason — I happened to hear an instrumental version of “Jalousie” on the radio. [Read more →]
This week has been a walk down memory lane for two interesting milestones in my life. Twenty years ago this week I wore English Leather cologne to a high school party and a girl thought I peed myself. That’s a whole other story that I’ve told a million times, but I’d rather talk about the ten year anniversary of foolishly taking a job at an Iranian man’s lock and door hardware company. It was a nightmare from the get-go. [Read more →]
Football season is over. For me, anyway. Sure, I’ll continue to watch the playoffs and the Super Bowl. My heart won’t be in it, though. On Sunday, the Philadelphia Eagles lost to the Green Bay Packers, 21-16, and that ended it for me. In a way, that might be a blessing. [Read more →]
10. You’re just waking up from your 2009 New Year’s Eve party
9. For Dancing With the Stars, you bet your life’s savings on Michael Bolton
8. Both your cholesterol and your children are way too high
7. When the airport’s full-body scanner tried to scan you, the screen cracked
6. You’re still Bernie Madoff
5. You’ve started a brand new week by reading a lame Top Ten list
4. For Christmas, your wife gave you that new STD iPhone app
3. You’re a Democrat
2. You’re not in the top two percent wealthiest Americans
1. You have a pre-existing condition
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
There was a new development this week in the historic incident of DEA agent Lee Paige, who accidentally shot himself in the foot during a youth presentation in 2004.
I can’t imagine that there is a parent out there that hasn’t had the discussion about whether or not they believed in the link between autism and certain vaccines administered to children. I know I certainly have. I chose to vaccinate my daughter, as I never really found there to be hard evidence that linked the two. Well, apparently — there isn’t. Some douche of a doctor — Dr. Andrew Wakefield to be exact — decided to go ahead and falsify his findings. Of course he’s denying it, but the evidence against him seems overwhelmingly strong. What could possibly possess a human being to do such a thing? And how will the country now react to those who so strongly supported this doctor’s theory?
Hey, Jenny McCarthy — all eyes are on you.
When I was a lad I watched lots of weird, psychotronic movies very late at night. You know the kind of thing I mean — Italian zombie movies, French vampire movies, usually from the 70s, with weird proggy soundtracks etc, etc.
The problem with all such films of course is that the plots are almost invariably dreadful, the acting awful, and the exciting freak-out horror sections are separated by long stretches of narrative tundra. Wouldn’t it be great, I thought, if somebody took all the interesting bits- the psychedelic breakdowns, the grinning skulls, the orgy scenes, the flashing strobe lights and melting flesh and stitched it all together in one continuous montage of hallucinatory imagery? [Read more →]
Have you ever sat in the dark? Really dark. You can’t see your hand if you hold it inches from your face. No movie projector. No spill from the concession stand. No cracks from the parking lot. No LED’s for the steps. No flash lights. No iPhones.
How about no exit light?
Perhaps you’ve heard that a new edition of the novel Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain, is to be published with certain words removed. It’s been all over the internet for the last day and a half:
NewSouth Books’ upcoming edition of Mark Twain’s seminal novel Adventures of Huckleberry Finn will remove all instances of the “n” word—I’ll give you a hint, it’s not nonesuch—present in the text and replace it with slave. The new book will also remove usage of the word Injun. The effort is spearheaded by Twain expert Alan Gribben, who says his PC-ified version is not an attempt to neuter the classic but rather to update it. “Race matters in these books,” Gribben told PW. “It’s a matter of how you express that in the 21st century.”
There are four and only four ways in which to examine this story in a blog post. All four of these I present now.
Angle the First: Presenting actual quotes about the novel and the author, carefully edited and amended by me to ironically justify the new, edited version:
“All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn. It’s only too bad it has ‘the n-word’ in it.” –Ernest Hemingway
Kevin Spacey dominates in a film that cannot decide if it is comedy or “ripped from the headlines” drama, or both. Either way, the story of disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff is fascinating.
The film follows Abramoff (Kevin Spacey) through his successes as a Republican Washington lobbyist, the scandal involving the Indian casinos, his final venture and his arrest and eventual incarceration. [Read more →]
One of the things I’ve often wondered is why the left sometimes seems to be against technological progress. In my short lifetime, I’ve seen leftist movements against all sorts of technological innovations that have absolutely changed the world. Stretching from the Luddites of the early 1800’s to today’s Green movement and its war on just about everything, the liberal left has displayed open hostility towards much of the technology that I think has made the world a much better place, but the why of the problem is never mentioned.
Why do “progressives” hate planes, anything bigger than a Soapbox Derby car on the highway, Wal-Mart’s efficient and low cost management plan, incandescent light bulbs, and just about every other major modern marvel or innovation?
‘Tis a new year, kids, and I am excited about the work I have ahead of me. I have a feeling 2011 is going to be a busy one for Meg Boyle, Patron Saint of Celebrity Advice. Thankfully, there is enough of me to go around (and if I keep eating the way I did over the holidays, there may soon be even more me to go around…).
But which wayward celebrity will end up needing my advice the most, I wonder? Let’s take a look at some of the nominees for Potential Hottest Mess of 2011… [Read more →]
I remember my academic hero, Dr. Robert Ryan, looking at me across his desk, with a smile threatening to peek out of his greying beard. It wasn’t an unkind look — he is incapable of being unkind to a student, as far as I know. But, I had just proposed to write my paper on Coleridge. I would attempt to define Coleridge’s concepts of reality and imagination as evidenced in his major works of fantasy — Christabel; The Rime of the Ancient Mariner — and in his journals. Dr. Ryan said to me: “I have always thought that to write a really good paper on Coleridge, one has to be as smart as Coleridge was. And who really is?” Hey, I was twenty-four, so I left the office taking that for the go-ahead.
That idea has stuck with me since that day in grad school, though. Does it really “take one to know one”? [Read more →]
My wife and I did things differently this Christmas. We had some friends over for a Vigilia supper on Christmas Eve. That means a meatless meal, in this case a large mixed salad with a mustard mayonnaise dressing, Sonny D’Angelo’s wondrous seven-fish sausages, mushroom caps stuffed with crabmeat, lots of shrimp, and some brie de meaux from DiBruno’s. That’s the advantage of living a few feet away from the Italian Market.
Anyway, that was Christmas Eve. On Christmas Day, having no one visiting and visiting no one ourselves, Debbie and I went Jewish: We joined out friends Kass and Eric Mencher for Chinese food at Mustard Greens. [Read more →]
Welcome to 2011 ladies and gentlemen! Hard to believe that in a mere four years we will be riding hover boards, at least according to what Back to the Future 2 told us. I hope that 2011 is going to be a good year, and while I haven’t made any crazy resolutions, I want to make some positive changes in my life. This year I am hoping to get my groove back, like Stella did. However, I am hoping that doesn’t involve me being seduced by or sleeping with Taye Diggs. [Read more →]
Check this out. A guy inherits his wife’s mom’s assets, after he kills her (the mom). The guy robs his wife’s mom, the mom catches him in the act, so he kills her. Her substantial fortune goes to her daughter, who might have been in on the heist and the cover up. The daughter kills herself in a potential suicide/drug overdose a short time later, and her money is willed to her jailed husband. When he is released in a dozen or so years, he stands to get the cash!???
Talk about coming out on top. This guy must be an inspiration to every guy on his cell block — and to every man outside of prison that wishes he could kill his mother-in-law. It sounds like this thing will be contested. Could we see something like this go to the Supreme Court? I mean there has to be a strong conflict between the integrity of posthumous rights (those of the daughter) and what is just plain wrong. You could make the argument that the mom should have been more careful with willing money to her delinquent daughter. What does the Coliseum think? Also, is this guy a PWSBKTW candidate?
It is very easy to complain about officiating. I have done so in this column several times. As a fan, it is much easier to blame a loss on a bad call than it is to accept that your team may just not be good enough. Occasionally, a call is so egregiously bad, though, that you can’t help but yell and scream and know your complaining is justified. One of these instances occurred in the inaugural Pinstripe Bowl at Yankee Stadium on Thursday. Considering the supposed offense, the point in the game at which it occurred, and the enormous significance to the game situation at the time, this was one of the worst calls I have ever seen. [Read more →]
10. During your physical, they found traces of blood in your alcohol
9. At AA meetings you begin: “Hi, my name is… uh…Wait, I know this as well as I know my own name….‘Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday, dearrrrr…’”
8. You keep claiming you’re “as jober as a sudge”
7. You make Lindsay Lohan look like Susan Boyle
6. The room is spinning faster than a hamster wheel
5. You’re wondering how you wound up with a chest tattoo of Cloris Leachman
4. You have toilet seat bruises all over the back of your head
3. Your idea of cutting back is less salt on the rim of your Margarita glass
2. You keep falling off the floor
1. You think Sarah Palin would make a great President
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
New Year’s Day is an underrated holiday without a solid identity. Christmas has presents, Thanksgiving has food and football, Easter has brunch and church, and 4th of July has fireworks and hot-dog eating contests. But what does New Year’s Day have? [Read more →]
