Who’s going to need Meg’s advice in 2011?
‘Tis a new year, kids, and I am excited about the work I have ahead of me. I have a feeling 2011 is going to be a busy one for Meg Boyle, Patron Saint of Celebrity Advice. Thankfully, there is enough of me to go around (and if I keep eating the way I did over the holidays, there may soon be even more me to go around…).
But which wayward celebrity will end up needing my advice the most, I wonder? Let’s take a look at some of the nominees for Potential Hottest Mess of 2011…
Could it be…
David Arquette, who just checked himself into rehab in order to win back estranged wife Courteney Cox (nee Courteney Cox-Arquette, nee-nee Courteney Cox)?
Lindsay Lohan, who just checked out of rehab and is moving next door to her ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson? There’s no way that can end poorly!
Miley Cyrus, who is really only guilty of desperately needing new parents?
Kelly Preston who, according to the National Enquirer (I know, I know, it’s the Enquirer, but! remember! they were right about John Edwards), is heartbroken over her extremely not-gay husband John Travolta’s constant weekends with the guys? I have a feeling Kelly is going to need some tough love soon. You boys don’t go skiing up there, do you?
Brett Favre? Oh, Brett. You’ve been a bad boy, haven’t you?
Any member of Congress? Seriously, like any of them. The ineptitude is mind-blowing. Except Kirsten Gillibrand, that is, who is rocking the house (or, rather, the Senate) just as I predicted she would. Suck it, Maureen Dowd!
Gwyneth Paltrow, whose comeback is so well orchestrated that even I am starting to like her. Clearly, the other shoe is poised to drop. But when?
So who will it be dear readers?? Vote for one of the above, or write in a new candidate, in the comments section (all three of you who are reading this). Happy New Year!
Let’s face it: Some celebrities could use good advice. Meg Boyle gives it to them every Tuesday.
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Gotta go with Gwyneth (just because her movie “Country Strong” is supposed to suck and that totally sets her up for devastating “Country WEAK” reviews)
Def Favre. He has needed your advice for Faking his retirement for the last 5 Preseasons. To say nothing of going all Ansel Adams on his junk.
Also Lohan is a close second. Girlfriend. Enabler. Whatever. It’s all Horrifying under the hood.
My girl Kelly P. in the hizouse. I mean the rest of these guys have publicists to make the booboos go away. Kelly has… the Scientologists. They basically married her to a gay man and destroyed her career. All of which she pays for! KP’s got nothing. She needs you Meg!
Well clearly Kelly has not been audited enough or she wouldn’t be having these problems. The Atrocities of Lord Xenu never stop haunting us?!?
And to Add to my Lohan comment…,
Have any of you seen Bound? Yeah. ‘Nough said.
Kelsey Grammer. His constant trading of wives for younger versions will soon rival Larry King. His test tube babies and crazed ex wives on reality T.V. are sure to send him back to the razor and the mirror to get a little white powder relief.