Book Review: Of Thee I Sing by B. H. Obama
So anyway, the other day I was in my local HEB super center (that’s a grocery store for folks reading this who live outside of Texas and Mexico) and I decided to have a look at the books since I’m always interested to see the kind of books you can buy in a mega grocery store. Since they offer nothing but the best selling titles, it’s like a direct line to the popular reading taste.
There wasn’t too much Alejandro Jodorowsky or Daniil Kharms but there was a lot of James Patterson, Twilight, Sarah Palin and a goodly stack of George Bush’s Decision Points. What would it be like, I wondered, to spend a year only reading books purchased from HEB or Wal-Mart? I could call it The Year of Reading Dangerously, write a blog and then get a book out of it. Maybe even a film deal, like that Meryl Streep Julia Child crock of shit.
Anyway, there weren’t too many surprises, so I decided to head over to the ‘Children’ section, to see what the kids are into. Evidently not the classics: I couldn’t spot any Cat in the Hat, or — important for a European sort like me- Asterix or Tintin. Depressing. Instead there was some book about a monster that learned to read or some such PBS- esque worthy crap.
But then, stacked behind the monster that learned to read I saw a row of copies of Of Thee I Sing by a certain Barack Obama. Oh that’s right, I thought. The president knocked out a kid’s book recently. Apparently it’s another one of his “letters to his daughters” that he feels compelled to share with the rest of us, all the things he wants them to know about America or something. By extension, we may assume these are the things he wants everybody’s daughters (and presumably sons) to know about America.
The first thing I noticed was that none of the copies were placed facing out but rather were all stuck behind other kid’s books. Then I noticed there were a lot more copies of Sarah Palin’s latest opus in the store, not to mention Bush’s memoir. But then again, we are talking Williamson County, Texas here.
Anyway, I took a copy off the shelf and had a quick flick. After reading about eight words I realized it was about as pompous and boring as you’d expect. Each page, or at least the pages I looked at contained a rhetorical question beginning: Do you know that… and was immediately followed by some piety that everybody knows. Naturally I’ve already forgotten most of it, but the page I do remember said something like:
Do you know that America contains lots of people of all different backgrounds working together?
I paraphrase of course, but that was more or less it. And that was more or less it for the rest of the book — a really exceptionally lazy and complacent piece of work that obviously relied entirely on the author’s celebrity status to get into print, much like a Nicole Richie novel. Fuck me, but the thing doesn’t even rhyme. The artist, at least, had spent some time over her paintings, cheerful enough but somehow reminiscent of the kind of things you might see daubed on the walls of a children’s Leukemia ward.
In short, if you’re thinking about buying it as somebody’s Christmas gift, I wouldn’t bother. Buy the kid some knives or ammo instead. The good news is — at least we know writing the thing didn’t distract the president from the important business of running the country for very long. Ten minutes maybe. Possibly fifteen. But that’s about it.
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I expect that on January 25, 2011, when “Santa Sangre” finally gets its official North American DVD and Blu-ray release, HEB will be floor-to-ceiling Jodorowsky.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004B32500/?tag=wfthecoliseum-20
Avast! I never knew that ye poor Americans had never seen Santa Sangre released on DVD. I have the British double disc edition, but this thing seems to have bonus material coming out the wazoo. Usually I don’t much care for bonus kak but that stuff looks good man… I think I’ll start camping outside my HEB forthwith.
As a Texas writer, I think I know well the deadpan tone in the funny sentence about sentences that start with “do you know that ” and end with something we all know.
I think Obama needs to get back to work. Plenty to do.
He shouldn’t write any more kid’s books, that’s fer sho’.
Fantastic book! I totally disagree with the authors analysis of the book. The message is one of inclusion and helps focus young people on believing in their dreams. This book showcases the American landscape of history is full of powerful historical figures who each made their indelible mark on history through their dreams, struggles, and passions. The essence of the message is exactly what the younger generation needs to see that no matter who you are or where you come from you TOO can make a huge difference in this world.
G. Johnson
Typical bullshit from a Texas know-it-all.
As an example of Daniel Kalder’s attention to detail, the artist is a male, not a female. I thought that sort of difference was important to y’all…
Tom
Typical bullshit from a Texas know-it-all.
As an example of Daniel Kalder’s attention to detail, the artist is a male, not a female. I thought that sort of difference was important to y’all…
Tom
Did you even read the piece you daft dick? I spent about a minute flicking through the president’s shitty pamphlet so there’s your attention to detail for you. The artist could be a gnu for all I care.
And on top of that, I’m not Texan, or even American, so my bullshit has another whiff entirely.
> Did you even read the piece you daft dick? I spent about a minute…
Let me get this straight. You spent a MINUTE “flicking through” and feel completely competent to make judgements about someone’s published work, but you get upset enough with my comment to try to be insulting, wondering if I “even read the piece” ??
> I’m not Texan
Yes, you are… it’s not a “birther” thing, after all… :-) …unless your bio info on this site is just all made up?
Tom
In response to your Qs, since you were good enough to take the time to return here & ask them:
1) Indeed I do feel competent, it’s not exactly War & Peace after all. It’s just a pile of poop the Prez knocked off in a few lazy moments sitting on the john, while contemplating his own awesomeness. Who knows? Who cares?
And no I wasn’t that upset by your comment. I wasn’t upset at all. You are welcome here, even if you are a bit rude, almost as rude as me. I was just jazzing you.
2) That bio is old… I live in Honolulu now. Actually I don’t. But I don’t claim to be Texan, I merely state that when people say I come across in a Texan manner I regard it as a compliment. So I thank you, too.