The WikiLeaks thing allows me the chance to show off my patriotism
I never miss an opportunity to display the true patriotism that beats within my heart. You can tell a true patriot, like me, because we are in favor of everything that helps America achieve its goals of being good and doing great things for everyone, all over the world. The problem is that there are too many people who aren’t patriotic. The WikiLeaks story has shown that most Americans refuse to let their “American flag” fly.
In case you haven’t heard, WikiLeaks is a terrorist organization that is run by a terrorist who hates America, and is helping terrorists. It helps terrorists by revealing secret government documents that undermine the goals of the politicians and bureaucrats that we elect to run our government. Our government, if you remember, is comprised of our employees (they work for us, because it’s a government “of the people, by the people, and for the people,” as no less an authority than the Constitution states). If someone is doing something that harms your employees, don’t you think that person should be put in prison? Don’t you think that’s the patriotic thing to do?
How ironic is it, then, that the most patriotic person in the world is a person in Sweden, where they have finally issued an arrest warrant for the WikiLeaks terrorist leader, Julian Assange (or, as I prefer to call him, Julian ASSange, because he is an ass and also an ange [actually, he is more of an “ass ange”]). He was arrested for violating a Swedish law against sex, because he had sex with two women, but then later didn’t return their phone calls, or something.
In America, we respect women. That is part of our cultural heritage. When we say that something is “as American as apple pie,” who do you think baked that pie? Your mother. Who is your mother? She is a woman. Imagine if someone had sex with your mother, then she found out that that guy also had sex with another woman as well. Then imagine that he used a condom in one case, because she asked him to. Now imagine that the condom broke. Don’t you wish there was a law that said that he had to get an STD test, and if he didn’t he could face a fine of over $700 and two years in jail?
Well, now that Mr. ASSange has been arrested in England, we can only hope that England does its patriotic duty and renditions Mr. ASSange to one of those countries where we send terrorists to be “questioned” by authorities who aren’t afraid to get their hands a little dirty in the name of fighting terrorism. We have to do everything we can to fight terrorism, because the terrorists are doing things like leaking sensitive information about things that the United States government is doing all over the world to protect us.
I won’t speak directly about any of the classified information that was leaked on the WikiLeaks site. The reason is because the release of the information was the same as a terrorist act. It is no different than if Mr. ASSange had set off a suicide bomb, or refused to go through an x-ray scanner at the airport. It is the exact same thing! So even discussing the actual details of the released documents is just further perpetuating what was released on the site, and as a patriotic American who takes his cues from the politicians and bureaucrats who run the government, I won’t do that.
Those sensitive documents were classified for a reason. The politicians and bureaucrats who run our government know what they’re doing, and they know what information we should have. Do you want to make all the important diplomatic decisions that they have to make every day? No? Then why do you need to know what’s going on?
You can’t even make up your mind about whether to choose “paper,” or “plastic.”
Also, I don’t want to get any calls from Senator Joe Lieberman, a patriotic American who is doing all he can to help fight terrorism.
The release of these documents has clearly made us all less safe. I’m not sure exactly how, but any release of information that is deemed to be “important” by the people who run our government is deemed so for our safety, since that is the government’s most important constitutional duty (keeping us safe). The only people who should be putting Americans in harm’s way are the bureaucrats and politicians who run our government. They are the ones who create our foreign policy, and declare or not declare war as they see fit. The rest of us have to like it, because it’s our patriotic duty.
To do less is to throw in with the Taliban.
Moreover, Julian ASSange is not an American. He doesn’t know what is best for us, the way our bureaucrats and politicians do. They were born here. He was born there. In Australia. Last time I checked, Australia was once a prison country, where British people sent their prisoners. In other words, Mr. ASSange is descended from criminals. He is a criminal now. And the Constitution is a United States document that does not apply to him, anyway, because he’s not even an American, as I stated in the first sentence of this paragraph.
I would like point out that Mr. ASSange is guilty of treason against the United States. Because he revealed our secrets to the world. And now America can’t achieve its goals of positively affecting other countries, the way we have with Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Africa, Mexico, Venezuela, China, North and South Korea, England, Sweden, and all the other countries where we do such great things to help people.
In conclusion, let me just reiterate my patriotic fervor.
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Ricky,
Like you, I bleed red, white and blue. My guts are star-spangled. In fact, if you unfurled my small intestine to its full glory (22 feet), you’d see the colors for yourself. (Except that, after bubbling around in my innards, the colors take on a red, white and green hue — similar to the phenomenon experienced by Portland anarchists when they attempted a force regurgitation of American flag colors in protest to a visit long ago by George Bush the Elder).
So really, my guts bear the colors of the Italian flag.
But I have one question for J-ASSange: how can something be a wiki if it cannot be universally edited? WTF?
Clearly, if he cannot even be forthright with the very NAME of his terrorist organization, Mr. ASSange cannot be trusted.
Still, the whole ethical element of this confuses me. Is Mr. ASSange an “ASS”…or is he an “ASS ANGEL”?
Ricky, you are a very ignorant man.
Michael, check what “Wiki” means on a dictionary.
Osvaldo, you’re right — what I don’t know could fill about 1,000 cable dumps.
I hope to God that Osvaldo is the new Parsifal.