Sometimes I play a game for my own amusement. I sprinkle references to musicals into my conversations and lectures and wait expectantly to see if anyone notices. A few years back a student returned to class after an absence and as I took roll, he asked facetiously if I missed him.  I said, “I cried and cried until the tears came down and I could taste them.”  No response. Then I added, “I love to taste my tears. I am special. I am special. Please, god, please… don’t let me be normal.”

After I got no response, I announced the name of the musical I quoted and asked if anyone had ever heard of it. Still no response. Then one of my brightest students, a fearless and flamboyantly “out” gay man, answered “No, I’m not that gay.”

“Well, I am,” I announced, and my class laughed.

Am I entering a minefield by acknowledging the perceived connection between musical theater and homosexuality? Newsweek’s Ramin Setoodeh tripped a mine or two several months back with a piece entitled “Straight Jacket,” in which he suggested that some gay actors were unsuccessful at playing heterosexual characters. Setoodeh cites Sean Hayes and Jonathan Groff, among others. Having seen both of these performers on Broadway, I must give my reactions:

1.       In Promises, Promises I saw Sean Hayes, whom Setoodeh refers to as “the pink elephant in the room.” Hayes was charming and funny and the character he played was somewhat ineffectual, but I did not perceive him as gay. (Of course, he might be perceived as gay partly because he is famous for playing a gay character on Will and Grace. I never watched that show, so I didn’t have that association.)

2.      I saw Jonathan Groff in Spring Awakening. Nothing gay about him in that show. However, Setoodeh is discussing his performance on the television show Glee, where he did strike me as less than believable as the love interest of Lea Michele. (But then, Groff’s character is a suspiciously trendy dresser who is weirdly serious about his musical theater aspirations. Doesn’t that make him as gay as my quoting musicals in class makes me?)

Note that in neither case am I referring to the actual sexual identities of the performers. The issue is whether or not the actor is convincing in his role. For example, I very much enjoyed Zero Hour, in which Jim Brochu portrays Zero Mostel in all of his complexity. The weak element of Brochu’s otherwise wonderful performance, however, is that the occasional effeminate note reminds me that this is not Zero. For example number two, I cite Cheyenne Jackson, who played Woody in Finian’s Rainbow last year. He crooned “That Old Devil Moon” beautifully, even transcendently, but it’s a little difficult to accept him as bonny Sharon’s love interest.  (If you listen to the cast album, you’ll hear that angelic voice when he sings, but when he speaks lines, well, there is irony.)

As I re-read what I have written, I am concerned about how I might have portrayed myself. Am I being reasonable or am I stepping on the same land mines as Setoodeh? To further complicate my presentation of self, I must tell a story. In the mid-80’s I appeared in productions of Grease, How to Succeed, and Hello Dolly! in a Philadelphia dinner theater. I was the only heterosexual actor in one of those shows, and it amused the other actors in the men’s dressing room during intermission when I would do dramatic readings of gay gladiator porn. The more heterosexual my reading, the more they enjoyed it. Furthermore, we all had women’s names. Mine was Bernice.

So, you see? I’m broad-minded.

Broadway Fred Quiz #3

Earlier in this installment of Broadway Fred, I quote some lines about tasting my tears and wishing to be something other than normal. To what landmark musical am I referring? And if you know the answer, does it make you gay? The answers will appear in next week’s column.

“Broadway Fred” appears every Wednesday.

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