We have all been, at one time or another, victims of poor customer service. The idea that “the customer is always right” seems to be something of the past although many companies seem to be getting the message that the customer will vote with their wallets if they don’t get what they want. So while things may be improving in some areas, there must be some reason why customer service was allowed to get so bad for so long.

For this I turn your attention to the 1988 film Big, starring Tom Hanks.If you are not familiar with the plot (I can’t take this for granted since I only recently found out that my wife never saw Ghostbusters – we are seeking counseling) it goes something like this: A young boy named Josh Baskin, after a series of abuses due to his shortness, makes a wish on a fortune telling Zoltar machine. His wish is “to be big”. Instead of just making Josh taller, Zoltar turns him into a grown up (played by Mr. Hanks) who goes on to dance on a larger than life piano and becomes an executive at a toy company, before tracking down Zoltar to fix the mistake months later. 

Here is the case against him. Zoltar is a man of unknown origin. Like many of today’s customer service representatives, we have reason to believe he is not from the US. (He may even be on any number of terrorist watch lists. What kind of name is Zoltar anyway?) He is clearly suspect for the existence of poor customer service – at least that since 1988.

A review the recorded transaction for training and quality control purposes brings us further evidence…Sure Josh’s request is kind of vague – he could have said “taller” and that would have ended the movie right there – but he clearly wasn’t asking to become a grown up. I mean, didn’t we already learn that there is some need for interpretation in the “Greg Gets Grounded” episode of The Brady Bunch, where Greg is forbidden to drive the family car after a near collision, so instead borrows his friend’s car to go on a date? Just going by the customers “exact words” doesn’t always work. You need to be able to think. And that is what is lacking from many customer service calls. The companies they work for provide the script and deviation is either frowned upon or simply impossible. Apparently, in Zoltar world “big” only has one meaning and that meaning is being an adult. Something is lost in the translation. 

Not only that, but there is no accountability since many of these customer service representatives use aliases, fake names that aren’t even common in their country. Their deceit not only goes unpunished, but is rewarded. This lack of accountability can be traced back to Zoltar’s managers. Even after Zoltar’s massive mix up he still kept the job, although he was shipped from carnival to amusement park to warehouse. How many others were harmed in this obvious cover up?

If I were defending Zoltar instead of blaming him, I would point to a rash of age and body shifting comedies that came out around this time – Like Father, Like Son (which starred Kirk Cameron and whose title now seems to take on another meaning in light of Mr. Cameron’s more recent projects. Was the Holy Spirit not available as well?), Vice Versa and 18 Again!. Perhaps Zoltar was just caught up in the moment and, being a shrewd Hollywood type, he hedged his bets that his story would be the best of this particular sub-genre. He was right.

So, Zoltar, your personal gain became everyone else’s annoyance. You managed to create an atmosphere in which poor customer service and a misunderstanding of the needs of the customer were, if not acceptable, simply expected. The lack of thought asked of these brave men and woman, sitting in a far off land, trying to make sure that the customer’s order of commemorative Civil War coins is shipped to the correct address was caused by your inability to think about what was being asked of you.  

Perhaps we are entering a new period, thanks to the internet and a more vocal customer base, where your misdeeds are being corrected. Bet you didn’t see that coming. Some fortune teller, and customer service professional, you are!

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Tags: Joshua Goldowsky blames a fictional character, movies // Add Comment »