May 9, 2010
I dream I am sitting in my old house in the middle of the night with Daniel and Bobbi. I cut up a long vegetable, but I can’t tell if it’s a cucumber or a zucchini. Daniel is sure it’s a cucumber and Bobbi thinks it’s an eggplant, but I assure her that an eggplant has never entered our house. I consider this further and go downstairs and discover that the burglar alarm is not on and that the back door is open and sitting in my basement are three people I don’t know. There is a large glass shard from a bottle, so I brandish it and tell them to get the fuck out of my house. My voice, however, sounds like that of a comic drunkard, so they don’t take me seriously. I start stabbing them lightly, but still they don’t leave. I stab all of them, including a little old lady, but to them I seem to be a nuisance and not a threat.

May 8, 2010
I dream I am at a synagogue on the high holidays and we are given a break, so I go to the lunch room and sit at a table with a bunch of people I’ve known since elementary school. I tell Kerry how impressed I am with his Facebook page. He thinks nothing of it and shows me something better. He throws a brick at a giant plate glass window and it shatters. Everyone wonders why he did that, but then he says “watch,” and he concentrates. He clouds our minds so that it looks as though the glass gradually restores itself. I didn’t know he had this ability. Later on, I discover that magician Eugene Burger is a goth doctor in a nearby hospital. I didn’t know he was Jewish.

August 18, 1998
I dream I am in the dining bubble/tower of a Catskill resort hotel. As I dine, I can see the outside through the glass walls and it looks beautiful and autumnal. In the distance, however, I see winter approaching rapidly and in a moment it begins storming wildly. Very shortly, the dining bubble is engulfed in snow and, because of the weight, falls off the tower and turns upside down. Suddenly, the resort people-who deal with this all the time-push a button that causes the bubble to right itself and push several feet above the snow. Now the view from the bubble is that of a gorgeous snow land, and I am amazed at how the engineers have solved their problems.

“Fred’s Dreams” appears every Wednesday.

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