Another Earth Day has come and gone. As I sit here reflecting on this day, the fortieth anniversary of the first Earth day in 1970, I think about my carbon footprint. My windows are closed and my ceiling fans are on full blast. My clothes are tossing in the dryer. I just took out the trash, full of my child’s disposable diapers and maybe some plastic bottles that I “accidentally” dropped in the can. I used paper towels to wipe off the kitchen counters. And now I am watching television as I type this, which is to say that I am not watching television, but have it on as energy-wasting background noise.

I should be ashamed of myself. After all, any socially conscious American is a willing participant in the current green movement. Am I too selfish to be saving the Earth? The answer is obviously yes.

I spent part of my day reading articles and watching television programs that celebrated Earth Day. Which is to say that I spent part of my day reading articles and watching television programs that blamed Americans for ruining the environment. Case in point — The Huffington Post lists the “Seven things you can do for Earth Day that actually matter“:

1. Stop using plastic.
2. Power your house/business with alternative energy
3. Don’t fly
4. Go vegetarian
5. Get rid of your car
6. Don’t have a baby
7. Buy local

I’ll admit that buying local products, consuming less meat, and eating more fresh vegetables are probably smart decisions, not only for the Earth but for me as well. But what about the helpful suggestions “Get rid of your car” or “Don’t fly”. These solutions aren’t realistic, and they make us feel bad for traveling to a job or going on vacation. And what about the brilliant idea to “Don’t have a baby”? This is the most ridiculous “green” suggestion I’ve ever heard. Has anyone ever decided not to have a baby because they thought they could keep the planet from total annihilation? Am I to feel guilty that I chose to add one more person to the world’s growing population, thereby destroying the Earth?

We’re constantly told that Americans produce the majority of the world’s energy. I’m not debating this fact, nor am I knowledgeable enough to summarize the amount the United States produces relative to other countries. However, the message is clear: Americans are responsible for the global descent into extinction. We’ve spent years killing the Earth and now we’re too lazy to pull it back from the brink of disaster. It’s all our fault, and if we were good people, we would stop having children.

The thing is that I do believe in the existence of global warming. I don’t doubt that the polar icecaps are melting and I wouldn’t be surprised if popular Jersey shore towns like Seaside Heights are fully covered by water in a few hundred years. (Where would Snooki, Ronnie and the Situation spend their summers? I’m very concerned.) I may not have installed solar panels on my house, but in general I do what I can. I recycle most things. I generally keep the lights and the television off in rooms that I don’t use. I drink from my own bottle of tap water rather than buy bottled water. And I have actually brought my used electronics to the local electronics recycling center. Unfortunately, I made a special trip in my car to haul these electronics to the drop-off center, so perhaps the illicit act of driving a car negates the positive act of recycling. I’m not sure.

As far as I am concerned, the green movement has gotten out of control. We are inundated with a relentless stream of media messages suggesting ways we can green our lives. These tips have become meaningless, more a public relations act than a sincere concern for the environment. All they do is make us feel guilty and selfish for living our lives.

At the very least, it would be nice to go to the supermarket and not get the death glare for forgetting my reusable bags. I dread the moment when the supermarket checkout guy asks if I will be using my own bags. I have to stop, look towards the floor, and quietly mumble, “No, I forgot, I left them at home”. Then I feel like such a heel for ruining the planet that I agree to donate money to whatever cause the supermarket is currently promoting. And I put some change in the tip jar so the checkout guy forgives me for my plastic bag transgressions. Perhaps if I promise not to have any more children, he will help me bag the groceries.

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Tags: diatribes, environment & nature // 1 Comment »