From the presentencing report
DEFENDANT’S VERSION OF EVENTS:
First of all, I want to say that I very much regret what I did. My behavior that night was inexcusable. Naturally, anyone would have been frustrated under the circumstances, but I should not have urinated in the middle of Sunset Blvd like that. That was wrong and I’m sorry that I did it. Still, after you’ve been standing around waiting for the smug bouncer to let you into a hot Hollywood nightspot, and you’re still outside waiting for almost two hours and meanwhile the bouncer is letting in a bunch of pouting and “brooding” kids from shows on the CW or something, you tend to get a little angry.
So I’m sorry I peed in the road, and I’m sorry that Mr. Nippenworthy’s car happened to be driving by at that particular moment, and I’m sorry that his car hit the slick spot in the road where I peed, and I’m sorry that his car slid into one of those little cement walls that they put up next to road construction sites, and I’m sorry that Mr. Nippenworthy died when his car crashed like that. I’m also sorry that I got convicted of involuntary manslaughter.
It is a regrettable set of circumstances.
I’m not saying that I shouldn’t be punished for what I did. It was wrong. But there are some things that I hope your honor will consider before sentencing me.
The first thing is, Mr. Nippenworthy was driving a Toyota at the time. Toyotae have been much in the news lately, because some of their accelerators don’t work right. He might have crashed his car even if he hadn’t hit that big puddle of urine that I left in the middle of the road when he swerved to miss me.
The next thing is, Mr. Nippenworthy was a lifelong smoker. Now, what I did wasn’t right, but clearly Mr. Nippenworthy didn’t value his own life all that much if he smoked. He was probably going to develop lung cancer, and that would have cost the taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars to treat him.
I’d also like to point out that Mr. Nippenworthy’s body mass index indicated that he was “obese.” And, despite the earnest warnings of watchdog groups and the government (of which you are an agent, your honor), Mr. Nippenworthy often ate at fast food restaurants. It was only a matter of time before he developed type 2 diabetes, adding even more to our already over-burdened health care system.
I don’t mean to imply that Mr. Nippenworthy deserved to die because his health care was going to cost all of us, you included, your honor, hundreds of thousands of dollars. I just want you to consider every angle of this case when you’re sentencing me.
Moreover, Mr. Nippenworthy was an executive at a major bank. The greed of those financial institutions was a major cause of the financial meltdown that has led to our current recession. Many people have lost their jobs, so they can’t pay taxes, which means that our state government is taking in less money, and vital government services are in danger of being cut.
In 2009, Mr. Nippenworthy wrote a letter to the LA Times in which he suggested that people should vote against the special measures to raise taxes, to help alleviate some of the state’s financial burdens. As you are probably all-too aware, your honor, those measures failed, and now California teeters on the brink of financial ruin. Because people like Mr. Nippenworthy voted against them.
I understand that Mr. Nippenworthy had a wife and family that loved him. Their testimony at my trial was very moving, and he seems to have fulfilled his familial obligations admirably. But the same can’t really be said of his societal obligations.
Your honor, there was no premeditation in what I did, but you have to admit that Mr. Nippenworthy was in many ways a burden to society. I didn’t kill a teacher, or police officer, or postal worker, or DMV clerk, or a judge. I didn’t kill a child. I killed a man whose actions harmed all of us.
Actually, I didn’t kill anyone, I involuntarily manslaughtered him.
It’s also important to note that Mr. Nippenworthy’s family made the noble decision to donate his organs to children who would otherwise have died. Now, I’m not saying that my becoming mildly intoxicated and angry at being left out of a popular nightclub that was letting in a bunch of punks from some tv show I don’t watch and then peeing in the middle of Sunset Blvd in bladder-filled frustration saved the lives of innocent children, but I am saying that if they hadn’t gotten Mr. Nippenworthy’s organs, they might not have gotten any organs at all.
And children are our most precious resource, despite the cynical attitude of people like Mr. Nippenworthy.
I hope that your honor will resist the urge to sentence me to prison, and instead honor Mr. Nippenworthy’s memory by sentencing me to community service, so that I can help some of the people that Mr. Nippenworthy attempted to harm through his selfish actions.* Not only would this send a powerful message to society that we should all take care of each other, it would save the state the $35,587.00 per year that it costs to house prisoners. As I’ve already stated, thanks to people like Mr. Nippenworthy, the state isn’t taking in enough money to keep people like me in prison.
People who know they did the wrong thing, and regret their actions.
*If possible, I would like to work with a non-profit group that helps prostitutes in some way, if indeed there are such things. But I leave that to your discretion, your honor.
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Please let us know how the judge responds.
Regardless, I think you should appeal. Even if he/she grants you community service.