February 6, 2010
I dream it is Saturday morning and the cleaning man and his people are here, but not much cleaning is being done. The cleaning man tells me he thinks of himself as a designer, not a cleaning man. I tell him, no, he’s a cleaning man and I gave him money and he is to clean the house. He explains that this is not “the thing,” and that I must at least help him with the “swats.” I say, “What is this word, ‘swats’?” He says, “Rags.” I say, “As far as I know, I am not obligated to help you with the ‘swats.’ I am paying you a hundred dollars. You are supposed to clean the house.” During this conversation I notice that the sofa cushions are on the dining room table.

June 15, 2008
I dream I am renting a room from people who at the beginning of the dream are Asian and by the end of the dream are Greek. The house is a mess and various servants who are being polite are encouraging me to clean up. As the day progresses, I see that the servants are cleaning and removing furniture. I don’t know where they are putting everything. I have learned that there is going to be a party the next day, and all kinds of irritating things are happening. I turn on the shower and the nozzle is pointing out into the room; someone has used my shower to wash the room. And, furniture is missing. My bed is missing. I ask the owner if she is planning to send me to a hotel, and she finds this very funny. She says, “Yeah, we’re going to send you to a hotel.”

February 23, 1999
I dream Millie wants me to branch out into a new showering service. I am to stay in the shower room, wet and naked, and shower customers throughout the day. Then, as part of the service, I am to take a Polaroid picture of the customer in the shower. Millie assures me that this will go well, but I tell her I happen to know a number of people who would not appreciate having their picture taken in the shower. Millie tells me to use my judgment.

“Fred’s Dreams” appears every Wednesday.

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