February 1, 2010
I dream I am interviewing Bob Newhart during a midterm exam. Bob is charming, and he allows me to hang out in his West Philly home where he is finishing up a memoir. I sneak back later to finish up a few things and I inadvertently destroy a tropical fish hors d’ oeuvre. While getting rid of the evidence I discover a crazy elderly woman sleeping underneath his kitchen work table. I try to escape before Bob gets back.

January 28, 2010
I dream I am learning to cut food at a Chinese market. A wise old woman shows me the ritualistic manner in which ducks are taken apart. She explains that a small, specific piece of the duck is considered preeminent. I am, however, more interested in the giant shark in the back. It has an exoskeleton, and despite the fact that it has been out of the water for a long time it is still gasping and sputtering. The old woman determines it is inedible because someone has shoved an unripe apple into one of its blowholes. I am sad that I will not learn how to cut up this creature.

February 23, 1999
I dream I am to go out to eat with Jen and Scott. Scott is driving and he stops at New England Pizza. I don’t want to get out of the car, so he drives to the next shopping center where there is a fish restaurant at which shoes are optional. We go there. I order this odd dish served on a conveyor belt that delivers cooked and live fishes directly to the plate. I’m grossed out by these live striped fish that come down the belt. The waiter is disgusted with me because I don’t know the finer things in life.

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