Dramatis Personae
Elder 1, political fundraiser
Elder 2, lobbyist
Sarah Palin, sancta simplicitas

ELDER 1: Sarah, we’re very disappointed in you.

PALIN: Why?

ELDER 2: You endorsed Rand Paul. Don’t you realize he’s against the War on Terror?

PALIN: But he’s so cute.

ELDER 2: Sarah, you need to understand this: you can’t become president without the support of the military-industrial complex.

PALIN: Is that like vitamin B complex? Because it just does wonders for my hair, don’t you think?

ELDER 1: Why don’t we switch to economics.

PALIN: Oh, I took that way back in junior high. They taught us how to bake a cake.

ELDER 2: That’s home economics.

ELDER 1: We’ve told you over and over that you need to study public policy.

PALIN: I was gonna do it last night, but then American Idol came on. Did you guys see it? Simon was so mean.

ELDER 1: I give up!

ELDER 2: Me, too!

(The elders storm out; Palin dials a number on her BlackBerry.)

PALIN: Hi, Todd. . . . The meeting went very well. Everything’s working to plan. Hey, I need the latest M2 numbers. And make sure you run them through the regression model I developed last night.

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