I can’t take it, this global celebration of American ridiculousness. Everything about it — the overdeveloped man-children “battling” on the gridiron, the “generals” on the sidelines receiving images from spies with a bird’s-eye view of the “trenches,” the pomp and circumstance, the all-too-serious “expert analysis,” the unapologetic commercialism and obedient consumption — is fucking cheap.
Fortunately, there are other options for your viewing pleasure.
There’s this video [1] of lions eating a tourist in Angola in 1975, and this video [2] of a shark chewing gently on Heather Boswell’s leg.
There’s also this clip [3] of Glenn Gould talking about and singing to animals.
If you’d rather not watch anything, you could always read a book [4].
Or you could help me figure out the meaning of a dream I had recently.
In the dream, I was looking out my kitchen window and into the dawn. While it wasn’t strange to see movement in the woods behind my house, it was strange to see an orange-and-black striped giraffe.
Curious, I grabbed my coffee, lit my morning American Spirit cigarette, and went outside, only to be surprised again.
The giraffe had turned into an orange-and-black striped horse.
Naturally, I walked across the lawn to introduce myself. When I got to the edge of the woods, I was surprised once more.
The horse had turned into a neatly dressed and well-groomed homeless family. The father was tall and seemed protective of his wife, daughter, and orange-and-black striped calf.
“Do you have any clothes you could spare?” he asked.
“Clothes?”
“We could use some extra clothes.”
“Extra clothes …”
“Right.”
“I don’t think I have anything that would fit you,” I said. “Certainly nothing for your wife or daughter … or calf.”
“I understand,” he said.
And with that they walked away, in single file with the orange-and-black striped calf in the lead.
- Author Bio [5]
- Latest Posts [6]
Latest posts by David A. Brensilver (Posts [8])
- I’m solving social problems, are you? [9] - September 2, 2010
- Rejected by big (delicious) tobacco [10] - August 11, 2010
- I’d rather spend the night in a parking lot [11] - April 13, 2010
- The Super Bowl, other viewing options, and dream analysis [12] - February 7, 2010
- Shock therapy: don’t try this at home [13] - January 3, 2010