Recently, President Obama signed an Executive Order immunizing the five-person Interpol office in New York City from a handful of federal laws.

Gadzooks!

Read the order yourself, if you dare, though your eyes may burn with tears and your gentle heart burst with outrage:

By the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, including section 1 of the International Organizations Immunities Act (22 U.S.C. 288), and in order to extend the appropriate privileges, exemptions, and immunities to the International Criminal Police Organization (Interpol), it is hereby ordered that Executive Order 12425 of June 16, 1983, as amended, is further amended by deleting from the first sentence the words ‘except those provided by Section 2(c), Section 3, Section 4, Section 5, and Section 6 of that Act’ and the semicolon that immediately precedes them.

The semicolon, too? Monster.

Sure, you could think that this is a matter continuing a courtesy first extended by President Reagan to help Interpol continue its vital job of disrupting the worst scumbags on the planet — child pornographers, terrorists, human traffickers. You might buy that the order is intended to reflect the reality that Interpol records are the property of more than one individual nation, and therefore ought to be given a modicum of the protection afforded to thousands of other international organizations, if only to avoid confusion about jurisdiction.

Sure, you could believe that. If you totally hate America. Luckily, Chuck Norris doesn’t:

While many in the conservative world have accused Obama of extending Interpol’s legal exemptions for the purpose of empowering a global police force, I believe there’s a much closer goal and strategic reason he gave this presidential edict. And it dawned on me when I read the seven words of Rachel Billington, an Interpol spokeswoman, who explained to the New York Times the applicable location of the president’s executive order: “It’s only for the New York office.”

“Only for the New York office”? Mmmmm.

Is it merely coincidental that Obama signed this executive Interpol order and that New York is the feds’ city of choice to place 9/11 terrorists on trial in federal court?

Is it merely coincidental that Obama signed this executive Interpol order and that, if for any reason the White House can’t give terrorist detainees U.S. constitutional privileges by being tried in civilian courts, they now have the close proximity of Interpol archives that are exempt from American legal or investigative discovery?

Is it merely a coincidence Obama signed this executive Interpol order that now makes Interpol exempt from Freedom of Information Act, or FOIA, requests by U.S. citizens?

Is it merely coincidental that Obama signed this executive Interpol order and that the feds want to try these 9/11 terrorists in civilian courts rather than military courts, and undoubtedly don’t want to lose the cases in public opinion by the dissemination of the trials’ details and evidence?

Is it merely coincidental that Obama signed this executive Interpol order and that Interpol’s U.S. central operations office is under the umbrella and within our own Justice Department offices? (Interpol, which was started in 1923 and is made up of 188 country members including the U.S., has a bureau in the Department of Justice.)

Is it merely coincidental that Obama signed this executive Interpol order and that he often goes out of his way to sympathize with and advocate pro-Muslim culture, beliefs and issues?

What is it about the phrase “Is it merely coincidental” that conveys such gravitas, such depth of character?  I’ve got to start using it more often, in order to earn great respect and admiration.

Anyway, you’ve been warned: when President Obama decides to destroy democracy, tear asunder all that we cherish, and turn over Mom and apple pie to a horde of moral Decepticons, the master plan will be hatched in a secret vault in a shabby midtown high-rise by a half dozen pimpled archivists who probably wear fat-sweaters in summer and boast about their highest scores in Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego.

Go ahead, rend your garments in horror. Me, I’d be pretty worried too, if not for three things:

Chuck Freaking Norris.

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