When Falls the Coliseum

Apology

Posted on January 9th, 2010 by Colin Cohen

Dramatis Personae
Barack Obama, President of the United States
Harry Reid, Senate Majority Leader

REID: Mr. President, I want to sincerely apologize for that “Negro dialect” remark of mine.

OBAMA: Apology accepted.

REID: I certainly never would’ve said it if I knew it would one day be published.

OBAMA: Maybe you should quit while you’re behind.

REID: No, I’m not giving up my senate race — I don’t care how far I’m behind. And after today, it’ll be plenty.

OBAMA: I meant your apology.

REID: You know I love the Negro. I have ever since my days of bashing their skulls in as a member of the Capitol Police.

OBAMA: Is there anything else you wanted to speak to me about? Because I’m pretty busy. At least, I hope I’m busy. You have no idea how I hope.

REID: You think we should have a beer summit?

OBAMA: A beer summit? With whom?

REID: Just you and me.

OBAMA: That won’t be necessary. Just be thankful you didn’t praise Strom Thurmond.

REID: I have, you know. Just not publicly. At least, I hope I haven’t.

OBAMA: Senator, are there any further embarrassing incidents I should know about?

REID: Well, there was that white sheet. But there’s no way they could identify me.