The following 10 words and phrases can be added to the previous list of 10. Both lists can be printed out, kept in wallets and purses, taped to the bathroom mirror, and given away as gifts. I like all of my friends and family and would hate to lose anyone.

1. Guesstimate
Example Usage:  I’d guesstimate her bride-price to be at around 8 cows.
Complaint:  I’ll let it slide if you’re using it to mock moral stories that involve trading women for cows, but for those of you who are serious— please refrain in my presence or we can no longer be friends.
Annoyance Value: 8

2. Broad Daylight
Example Usage: The police officer threatened people on the street in broad daylight with a firearm because his Hummer was hit by snowballs.
Complaint:  As opposed to narrow daylight?
AV:4

3. Expresso
Example Usage: I would like a Venti Peppermint Mocha Expresso with whipped cream, stat!
Complaint: My rant at people who confuse expresso with espresso is temporarily suppressed due to an overwhelming craving for a Peppermint Mocha, but the word is espresso, folks. ESSSSSpresso
AV: 9

4. Touch Base
Example Usage: Hey Milton, I’ll touch base with you later to go over the PTL numbers.
Complaint: It almost sounds dirty. Say “talk” or “contact” instead or, once again, we can no longer be friends.
AV: 6

5. What do you say? (as a greeting)
Example Usage:  What do you say Jim Bob?
Complaint: This is something you say to a child after he/she has failed to say thank-you, not a greeting. When I hear this it makes me feel I’m being reprimanded for not saying “hello” fast enough.
AV: 8

6. Weird
Example Usage:  He’s just weird. He gives me hateful looks every time I order expresso.
Complaint: The word itself doesn’t bother me, it’s the people who use it in place of what they actual intend or worse, as vague judgment. More often than not, the word reveals a speaker’s comfort level, sensitivity, and lack of cultural understanding.
AV: 5

7. Cutting Edge
Example Usage: This cutting edge technology will change the internet forever.
Complaint:  Edgy! Futuristic! It’s so sharp, it’s cutting edge! Buy stock in our company!
AV: 4

8. Per se
Example Usage: He’s not fat per se, he’s just big boned.
Complaint: Don’t use Latin if you don’t know what you’re doing.
AV: 3

9.  __ a.m. in the morning
Example Usage:  The neighbor’s damn dog woke me at 4 a.m. in the morning today!
Complaint:  I’ve been guilty of adding “in the morning” after “a.m” or “at night” after “p.m.” for emphasis, but even from my own mouth it is redundant. I can no longer be my own friend.
AV: 6

10. Discharge
Example Usage: A moist discharge covered the wound.
Complaint: I’m including this word again because it continues to sound gross and should be struck from use.
AV: 10

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Tyler Samien

Tyler Samien has a BA in English/creative writing from the University of Tennessee. He enjoys writing everything from scathing online reviews of companies that displease him to nostalgic memoirs of childhood experience. His blog, ReluctantChauffeur, is about to get interesting as he travels the United States with his wife and goofy-faced puppy.

Latest posts by Tyler Samien (Posts)

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Tags: diatribes, language & grammar // 1 Comment »