I’ve been busy basking in the tanning bed glow of my latest television obsession, Jersey Shore on MTV. The brain trust on Jersey Shore is all about alcohol fueled sex, one night stands, and boyfriends who are married. And while I’ve been waiting for poor Snooki to get punched in the face by some a-hole on tonight’s episode, MTV has been quietly airing a show that portrays life far away from the drunken antics in New Jersey. Teen Mom is as sobering as it gets.

Teen Mom is MTV’s sequel to 16 and Pregnant, profiling four teenagers who are navigating life after having a baby. This is real reality television for a change. And the best public service announcement for abstinence that I’ve ever seen.

Farrah is in denial over her new life as a mother. Although it is unclear what happened to the baby’s father, she is desperate to find a boyfriend, and often leaves her daughter with her mother or grandmother so she can maintain an active dating life. She makes the mistake of showing up to her latest love interest’s football practice with her daughter, only to leave after uncomfortable stares from the team. She’s slowly coming to the realization that life after baby may not be the same as life before baby.

Maci is working hard on building a family with son Bentley and her fiancée Ryan. Unfortunately, Ryan is only interested in hanging out with his friends. He has little interest in the baby and no interest in playing family. One night, she tries to comfort a crying Bentley while waiting for Ryan to come home from an evening (or morning) of partying. The clock strikes 7:30 A.M. Ryan is nowhere to be found.

Amber drops out of high school to stay at home with her daughter while her boyfriend Gary works, only to quickly learn what she didn’t learn in class — that life at home with a baby can be isolating. She regrets dropping out of school, and eventually sees a doctor for her growing feelings of anxiety and depression.

Catelynn placed her baby for adoption and is facing the reality that an “open adoption” may not be as open as she previously thought. She and her boyfriend are upset that they aren’t a part of their daughter’s life as they had anticipated. In an effort to somehow connect with their child, they get tattoos of their daughter’s name and birth date, all the while lamenting the fact that they aren’t even allowed to know her new last name.

I might have been laughing over Jersey Shore‘s “The Situation“, but these girls are dealing with situations that aren’t so funny — stress, family conflicts, depression, loneliness. Forget Snooki getting smacked at a club. MTV smacks us right in the face with this dose of reality. Could this show actually be trying to teach us something?

During the finale of 16 and Pregnant, Dr. Drew Pinsky (everyone’s favorite non-doctor, or real doctor — who knows?) asked the girls why they had unprotected sex despite everything they knew about getting pregnant. None of them could really answer the question. I don’t have any religious or moral objections to teenagers having sex. But I’m concerned that all of this knowledge about safe sex still goes unheeded.

Now if you aren’t a female teenager, then pass this on to someone who is. Girls, if MTV hasn’t made it plainly obvious to you, here’s the memo: all that happy talk about motherhood being the hardest job you’ll ever love is bullshit. Raising a child is work. It can be physically and mentally exhausting. You don’t need that kind of stress when you are seventeen. So listen, do yourself a favor, and do not have sex until you are 35. Or ever. Seriously.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program of sex, alcohol, and general debauchery.

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