The mystery of David Letterman
David Letterman has been much in the news lately due to his fondness for the flesh of young female staffers, and the alleged blackmail plot regarding his exploits in that direction. It seems that old Dave is a bit of a lech who- like many powerful and wealthy individuals– uses his high social status to gain access to the sexual organs of women who would not look at him twice were he not so illustrious a figure.And so the furious debate rages in the papers, online and on cable news — will Dave survive the scandal? Will his audience follow him? The mystery for me however is much simpler– how did Letterman ever achieve the status he enjoys today?
Allow me to explain. I’m not from around these parts. I grew up in Scotland, spent a decade in Russia, and arrived in the US three years ago. As something of a night owl I soon found myself confronted with America’s strange, televisual dream-world of nocturnal gibberish, and the even more perplexing national obsession with the personalities, rivalries and ratings battles that played out between the competing purveyors of this gibberish. The big one of course was Leno vs. Letterman, but who could forget the death struggle for comedic dominance between Conan and Craig Ferguson? Then there was the mystery of Jimmy Kimmel, floating around like some moth that had lost sight of the moon, detached from these wars as if no-one expected him to succeed anyway. And lurking in the deep, deep darkness was the awful horror that is Carson Daly: charmless, entirely unfunny and visibly drowning in his own misery.
What was most striking about these shows however was that they were all crap: boring, repetitious, filled with padding, and containing an endless stream of plugs for films and CDs delivered by sublimely tedious celebrities. I couldn’t understand why there were so many of these chat shows, why anybody watched them, or why– with so many writers– the hosts were at best only ever mildly amusing, and intermittently at that. Most of all I couldn’t understand the cult of David Letterman.
Now I’d heard of Letterman long before I arrived stateside. Back in the late 80s/early 90s a UK chat show host named Jonathan Ross was accused of ripping off Letterman’s format for his own late night broadcast. It didn’t harm him– Ross is still going strong, paid millions by the UK taxpayer to periodically offend the nation, and his show is currently broadcast on BBC America. I also have vague recollections of Letterman actually taping his show in London in the early 90s. This was considered an event and was broadcast on British TV; I switched off after about ten minutes. In fact, the influence of American culture on Britain is such that the legendary battle between Leno and Letterman for the throne of Johnny Carson was reported in our papers, even though we couldn’t watch the shows in question on our TVs. Why we were supposed to care I am not sure; after all, how many Americans are interested in the ratings battle between Coronation Street and EastEnders?
Arriving in the states however I kept hearing the name: Letterman, Letterman. So I decided to give his show another stab. But every time I tried to sit through an episode this is what I saw: a smug, lazy old bore, seething with suppressed rage and bitterness. The bitterness was intriguing: it always is when you see it in highly successful people, such as Letterman’s equally over-rated comrade in entertainment, the legendary Paul McCartney. In McCartney I understand it: he’s jealous of Lennon, who everyone knows was the greater talent in the partnership. But what’s eating Letterman? Is he still angry about Leno? Or is it that he’s filled with contempt for what he does, considering himself above the whole chat show schtick? Who knows? Who cares? Even when he caused outrage with his comments about Sarah Palin’s daughter I was more shocked by how complacent, how lazy he was. With an army of paid writers, this is the best he can come up with?
Lord knows I tried to understand Letterman, to grasp his place in the entertainment fundament. I heard he was ‘good in the 80s’ and thought that perhaps the cult of Letterman was like the cult of Iggy Pop (five good records, the last one recorded over 30 years ago) or Dennis Hopper (Easy Rider, Blue Velvet, then nothing) both of whom retained goodwill from a rabid fan following on the basis of long faded achievements . One lunchtime I even watched half a Biography channel special, hoping it would help me appreciate Dave’s illustrious past. There was something about an alka- seltzer suit in there, I recall. But to tell the truth I was more interested in the story of his relationship with his former head writer Merrill Markoe who apparently created a lot of the popular spots on his show. Even the soft-soap Bio channel approach made it look like he’d treated her badly.
Anyway, even with this blackmail scandal, I still can’t muster much enthusiasm for David Letterman: I’m more into the Jon and Kate meltdown, to be honest. Thus I am forced to conclude that perhaps Letterman is one of those aspects of American culture that just don’t translate for a foreigner. You need to have been born here for him to make sense, to have been steeped in the legend of Ed Sullivan, of Johnny Carson, to have been raised in the ancient mysteries of late night chat show nostalgia. Letterman is for the natives, like Root Beer or Beef Jerky.
Except I quite like Beef Jerky.
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Daniel Kalder= Yet another Brit in a long line up of Brits who seem, for some reason, to get off on their superiority complex by pointing out how SHITE everything, I mean EVERYTHING is, in their view. Sad.
Entertaining, but sad. Check out his previous entries and see that each and every one of them is a riff on the same thing: America is crap, the UK is crap, the former USSR is crap. Life is crap.
HUMPH.
The only thing he seems to like is what the majority thinks is crap.
Oh Daniel, you’re not the first, nor will you ever be the last. to do what you do, it seems, well.But take a break and come down from your pedestal every once in a while and try say ” MMM here’s something worthy.”
And there really is no need for, nor does it endear you to anyone by using phrases like ” entertainment fundament” Who are you trying to impress?
P.S. And whether you like or understand Letterman or not is irrelevant .He was the first and last orignal since Carson, as far as late night TV goes,
And frankly Jonathan Ross and your fellow countryman Craig Ferguson make me cringe in embarrassment for them when they don’t, seem to have enough sense to.
You speak-a da trut’, Boris Borisovich. Steve Allen, Johnny Carson, Dave Letterman — the totality of the list of inventiveness in late-night comedy. Jay Leno tells jokes, that’s it. BO-ring. I like Brits, Brit humor, Brit movies, Brit TV, Brit drama, and have lived in Britain. I don’t care for Brits who find everything and everybody else tedious.
“The only thing he seems to like is what the majority thinks is crap.”
Daniel, what the hell are you thinking, man? 500,000 million flies can’t be wrong. Eat shit.
Oh I don’t know, Jericho- I think you’re being too harsh there. I was actually quite touched by Boris E’s passionate plea for more sunshine and flowers in the world. It was so heartfelt it filled two comment boxes.
I mean, he’s clearly a fan- otherwise he wouldn’t have gone back and read all my posts. But at the same time, he struggles to understand them because he has no grasp of irony and is frightened of polysyllabic words. And it can’t be easy living life as a chivalrous knight, sworn to uphold the honor of over-rated late night chat show hosts everywhere.
No, I think he’s right. I need to write something upbeat about something everybody likes. Maybe the Eagle’s Greatest Hits, for example- I understand a lot of people own it. Or Russian band DDT’s ‘Snowstorm of August’, with its accessible, easy-listening groove. Or better yet, perhaps an essay on the films of Canadian comic Mike Myers. I mean, the Love Guru, now that’s funny.
If I may offer a suggestion, perhaps an essay on the Mike Myers oeuvre as it pertains to the proliferation of kittens and daisies everywhere in the world. Just for, you know, some depth and complexity.
(Of course, whether you like or understand kittens is equally irrelevant.)
That’s a good idea, Olga. But I was also thinking of penning an appreciation of the later films of Myers’ fellow countryman Dan Aykroyd, specifically with reference to My Girl and My Girl 2. Those were really heartwarming pieces of popular cinema, now unjustly overlooked. High time for a reappraisal, I think.
Myers and kittens or Aykroyd and My Girl? It’s a tough call.
How come everything suddenly has to be about Canadians? Perhaps something about the profound perfection of the Canadian healthcare system – as it contributes, of course, to the heightened frolicking of kittens chasing bees? Oh wait, Michael Moore already covered that…
OUCH!,The irony, oh the IRONY of it all!
I had no idea you were so sensitive, Daniel.
Sensitive to your own feelings, I mean, for you to have answered with such a scathing and cynical riposte. One can only assume your feelings were hurt, by the way you responded with such vituperative vitriol and dare I say witty, ironic aplomb. Do you see what I’m getting at with my use of such words as “ vitriol” and “aplomb” and “ cynical riposte”? I’m trying to be ironic by making fun of your use of words which really do make you sound as though you rely too much on your thesaurus.
I only mention this because in your wounded- cornered- animal retort it seems you don’t appear to understand what the word “irony” means. Your writing contains a lot of mocking skepticism , sarcastic disparagement and adolescent, even prurient , anger but very little irony, indeed. (At least, anyway, if you care to look up the word “irony” in your dictionary.)
Also, in your wordy manner you somehow seem to have managed to misconstrue AND support MY argument : misconstrue in that all I was suggesting was it might be nice to see a little variety, something other than bitter, condescending and pompous criticism, in your writing ( it gets tedious after a while).
What I mean by “support my argument” is that, in your perpetual “ everything- bashing list” which includes America, Russia, Iran ,Scotland, the Eagles, popular culture, flowers ,sunshine and everything under the sun etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. and now Canada , you can’t help but betray your own shortcomings ,insecurities and indeed ignorance with the way in which you harp, harp and harp on about what you think is shite.
P.S. I find it hard to believe you were foolish enough to waste your money on the Love Guru.
Also , owing to your British pedigree and current place of residence, it isn’t surprising that your knowledge of things Canadian doesn’t extend beyond Mike Myers and Dan Akroyd. May I suggest a simple Wikipedia- Canada search as a place to begin.?
Daniel, you cynical bastard, now you’ve gone and really upset Boris.
Boris, based on your interpretation of Daniel’s response as “hurt,” I’d say you might consider giving up on his vitriolic rants and turning your attention to more worthy pursuits, such as self-help tomes that will teach you “How to Read People Like a Book” and “How to Argue and Win Every Time.”
Note how cleverly I used the word “tome” to avoid using the word “book” twice in the same sentence. You might also want to ponder the difference between irony and sarcasm. Thesaurus: don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. Dictionary: also helpful.
Hey jericho, exactly what i am saying. How ironic. Exactly. There is a big difference btwn irony and sarcasm.
You wouldn’t happen to be related to daniel , would you?
“You wouldn’t happen to be related to daniel , would you?”
Spiritually. There’s a big world out there, outside your world of sunshine and rainbows, where we cynical bastards thrive, and there’s a lot of us.
Sarcasm aside, Boris, Daniel has his style as a writer. He’s entitled to it. Some of us like it. You see his name on a post, you can expect to read something that won’t agree with you. Why read it and then try to pick fights because his worldview rubs you the wrong way? Things are dark and cynical and shite in his world – stay in yours, where it’s warm and cuddly.
Oh Jericho:
tome (t?m) n.
One of the books in a work of several volumes.
A book, especially a large or scholarly one.
[French, from Latin tomus, from Greek tomos, a cutting, section, from temnein, to cut; see tem- in Indo-European roots.]
So i don’t think self help books would qualify as “tomes”.
By the way i don’t understand the snide obsession with flowers, sunshine and rainbows on this page. What’s not to like about flowers, sunshine and rainbows?
Also, you say you “thrive…” on “….shite” ? I thought you suggested earlier only flies do this.
Sounds like offended Boris was one of the dodgy birds sucking off Letterman in the back room.
Thanks, Daniel, I thought I was the only one who hated Letterman. I let out a cheer when I read “. . . smug, lazy old bore, seething with suppressed rage and bitterness.” When he’s not fawning over pretty girls singers (watch the pathetic Edie Brickell interview) he’s just being a gigantic prick to everyone else (see the excrutiating Marilyn Vos Savant interview).
But, don’t blame all us natives for Letterman (and we won’t blame all of you for the Bay City Rollers).
It’s true, Letterman hasn’t been good since the 1980s. He’s a real bore now. You had to be there. The reason is that he was the first long-lasting late-night host with a thoroughly post-modern worldview. And back then, he was on at 12:30 with absolutely no competition.