August 22, 2009
I dream I am attending a party at KennyB’s house. Karen wants to sing “Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered” with me, but I don’t know the words. She has a copy of the lyrics, but she refuses to let me see it. In frustration, I take a bath in the kitchen tub. I shampoo my hair and everything, but when I get out of the tub I realize I am still wearing my underwear and, furthermore, I am not wet. I overhear interesting and sensational talk between KennyB and his roommates.

April 12, 1999
I dream it is my birthday and my brother has brought me a black leather drum. It’s portable but very big. We decide also to go to Japan for dinner. Dan insists on picking out my shirt and tie.

June 19, 1998
I dream I am showing my brother, Dan, how I can play my concertina. I boast that I needn’t bother with notes; all I have to do is play some chords over and over. Dan points out that my approach is simplistic. He borrows my concertina and plays masterfully, even though he never played before. I tell him I don’t really have to play-I just want to use the concertina chords as underscoring for dramatic monologues. Later I meet a woman in a log cabin who wants to use my concertina to underscore her post-modern dances.

Fred’s Dreams is published every Wednesday.

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