Well it’s October, or as I call it: Horror Movie Month. It’s baffling to me how movie studios release titles like Halloween 2 (the new Rob Zombie version) in late August. Or February in the case of the new Wolfman, which I’d love to see any weekend in October, but not sure I’m interested in it as a Valentine’s Day date flick. Granted, I’m not a numbers guru but basic fucking logic dictates that you release horror movies around Halloween and Christmas movies in December. Anyway, since there isn’t really a cool horror movie in theaters I’d like to take the next five weeks to do a video round up — Yes, I’m that egomaniacal. This first installment will focus on classic and old horror movies.

Night of the Living Dead
Film buffs, horror lovers, and my mom should all like this movie (though I’m not guaranteeing my mom). Granted special effects weren’t great in 1968 when George Romero came out with the original Night of the Living Dead, but he didn’t need it. The original movie wasn’t a primordial 28 Days Later (running around slaughtering zombies); it was an attempt, successful in my opinion, to explain how people operate in a crisis situation. The house full of people (and social commentary) could have escaped, could have worked together and trusted each other, they could have survived, but didn’t because humans on their most basic level are nothing but cruel hateful beings looking out for number one (or so the movie would have us believe). There is, however, a silver lining to this zombie-infested cloud: the humans that do work together will live to fight another day.

Dawn of the Dead — then and now
While neither one is something special, having seen both versions I’d vote for the remake. The zombies are scarier and move faster. Plus no 70s style anything.

Them!
Not only do you have to like horror to enjoy this flick, you need to be a fan of 1950’s style horror. It’s a movie about giant ants. Actually it’s more or less a 45 minute short that repeats itself in a new setting. It also starts Edmund Gwenn, who played Santa Claus in the original Miracle on 34th Street. This falls under both classic and old. Most people would be bored to tears trying to work their way through this piece of shit, but I enjoyed seeing the old style and complete lack of scientific knowledge on the part of the public. I knew in high school things like this could never happen, but apparently my grandmother still lives in abject fear of radioactive mutant bugs.

Halloween (old and new)
Everyone I know has seen it. For many people in my age demographic this was the first un-edited horror movie we were allowed to watch. As such it holds a special place in our hearts. Objectively it holds up pretty well despite its age. If you haven’t seen this movie I’ll assume you’re a weirdo, live under a rock, or have a substance abuse problem (I would include granola in that category).

Alien
Still awesome. Still terrifying. Still amazed Sigoruney Weaver was ever that hot.

Friday the 13^th (original only)
I loved the original. It was quick, terrifying and logical. The new one didn’t appeal to me even out of curiosity.

Next week: Fluffy and Funny Horror Movies

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