Chess is a game that requires the ability to think dozens of moves in advance. It also requires you to be conscious. Vladislav Tkachiev learned this the hard way, after the #58 player in the world was defeated during a match in which he repeatedly dozed off. (In Vladislav’s defense, he was drunk at the time.)

Ironically, Vladislav is known in chess circles for advocating “blitz chess”, where players make their moves as quickly as possible. During this match he managed only 15 moves in an hour. His performance may have been disappointing, but he made up for it with an unforgettable exit: he actually had to be carried off; surely the first time a man was not just beaten at the chess table, but actually incapacitated.

Amazingly, I still think this only qualifies as the second most bizarre alcohol-related behavior during a competitive event. The first goes to John Daly. Somehow, all the personality and excitement in the entire sport of golf has been crammed into this man, who at any given time will be several million dollars in debt from gambling and have at least one current or former spouse in prison. Perhaps his most extraordinary moment came in 1998 when he got the DTs during a televised tournament, leading to him golfing while dealing with violent chills and occasional crying jags (others have theorized it was a sign of manic-depression).

Amazingly, Daly got through the round and today appears to have his life in good shape (well, moderately good shape: it’s best not to go overboard with praise for a man who once announced he cured his alcoholism by switching to “only beer”). It remains to be seen if Vladislav will be able to live up to Daly’s example, with constant personal chaos that stops just short of destroying him completely. He’s off to a good start, as Vladislav had a reputation for extremely hard-living even before the meltdown, reminding us of the wisdom of Homer Simpson: “To alcohol: the cause of…and solution to…all of life’s problems.”

__ of the Moment appears Wednesday.

Tweet  Print This Post

Tags: sports // Add Comment »