Dear Ruby,
I have a gal working in my office who is a real Bossy Betty. Doesn’t matter who, doesn’t matter what, she’s got an opinion on what should be done and by golly she is going to make sure you take her advice. It’s bad enough on work matters, but I surely don’t need her advice on my personal life! Ignoring her just seems to encourage her and my boss doesn’t seem to mind that she’s running the show. Any advice on dealing with her?
Lynne

Dear Lynne,
In simple terms, Bossy Betty is doing the human equivalent of a big old beagle hump on your leg.

It’s time to kick the bitch off.

This means changing your own behavior first. Betty is dependent on your civility to enable her bossiness. When you go along with, politely ignore, or pretend you didn’t hear her unsolicited input, you are showing yourself to be every bit the well-brought up girl your  mother raised — and you are also complicit in your own humping.

Betty can smell your fear of confrontation and she would roll in it if she could. She would like to put it in a can and spray it in the ladies’ room. She’s waiting for it to come out as a candle.

You do have options. The next time she tries to boss you, you could:

1. Wrestle her onto her back and hold her there while growling low in your throat for at least 30 seconds.
2. Squirt her in the face two or three times with a 90/10 water/lemon juice solution.
3. Look in her eyes and say calmly, “Betty, I don’t need your input on this.”

To avoid the 9th circle of hell that is the HR office, I recommend option 3. Make it stick by not smiling and not adding any softening statements such as “I appreciate your help, but. . . ” or “Thanks for your interest, but . . .” Don’t prevaricate, don’t apologize, and don’t look away first. It’s not necessary to be loud, just firm.

This will be hard to do the first time. If you don’t quite pull if off, keep at it. You’ll get braver each time — and you might find you have other areas in your life that could be wildly improved by just the right amount of assertive mutinousness.

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