The Bachelorette

My husband can’t watch this show with me. And it’s not because he can’t stand the idea of 30 men throwing themselves at one chick and humiliating themselves on national television, because he hasn’t had the same problem watching with me in the past (though in his defense, he’s not that interested… like he is in So You Think You Can Dance and The Hills). It’s because he thinks Jillian is the worst kisser. And he’s right. He totally brought it to my attention last night and now I find it horrifying to watch her make out with practically everyone. No wonder Jason didn’t pick her. He was over the sensation of being pecked at.

The Bachelorette is in the thick of it now. Solo dates that lead to victims of heartache and city busses, and awful group dates that lead to nothing. Last night’s group date was particularly terrible. That was a waste of 30 minutes of the show and my life. I know they have to do that in order to maximize the time the guys spend with Jillian, but really. Something a bit more exciting please? Or better yet, make the show an hour and a half instead. Thank goodness she gave the rose to Robby who was the only one worthy of it. Did Reid really think he deserved it? On what grounds, a five-minute conversation? You have to try harder dude. Take a page out of Wes’ songbook. While this guy is the biggest piece of cheez, he stepped it up at the right moment and took advantage of the perfect opportunity. Bravo, cowboy… but this isn’t The Nashville Star.

Then David’s roid-rage kicked in. He would’ve kicked the crap out of Jillian if she were in the room. He looked like he was going to drop dead at the rose ceremony. I could see the hGH pouring from his skin. I mean, he’s totally right about Juan but pull yourself together brother. That being said, Juan needs to go… not because he’s phony, not because he’s a prick, but because he’s a female. He’s way too feminine to be into Jillian. Kiptyn maybe, but not Jillian. 

Tanner “Twinkle Toes” P. is really no better than Juan. This foot fetish thing is out of control and he should be embarrassed. Everyone else is. I thought it was his way of trying to be funny and stand out, but now it’s just gross. He can’t possibly make it past the next round.

The suitors in my top 3 are: Robby, Mike (not to be confused with break-dancing Michael) and Kiptyn (the only thing hurting him is his name).

Tweet  Print This Post

Tags: television // Add Comment »