March 14, 2009
I dream I am in an oblong kitchen in a strange apartment building with celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain. He shows a stunt oven. First he turns it up as high as it will go, then he gets in. He withstands the heat for several minutes. He emerges unscathed and triumphant. There is a reception for him afterwards and Drew Barrymore and I walk in the snow. I am very clingy.

July 24, 2008
I dream Gail and I are walking in Center City Philadelphia and wind up on a treacherous street with enormous bird-like footprints in the ground and on the concrete walls. I feel unsafe, so we retreat into what appears to be a community center or school gym. An arts-related fundraiser is going on, so I start to cook meat in the kitchen. After awhile I can’t find Gail, and one of the ladies informs me that if I’m going to neglect Gail the way I have been neglecting her, it only stands to reason that she would spend her time with another man, a composition teacher from Temple. I find Gail and the composition teacher together, and they are enraptured with each other and eating the food I had prepared. I suggest to Gail that it’s time to move on, but she tells me she’d prefer to stay where she is. I grab a plate of food, turn it over onto her plate of food, and storm out.

December 15, 2008
I dream I am in the kitchen where two enormous pieces of meat need to be cooked, so I put them directly on the heating elements of the stove.  It seems to be working beautifully yet it also occurs to me that this might not be the best way to do it. I look for pans, but I don’t find pans in the correct sizes. My mother gives me a foil loaf pan, which is also not right, but at least the meat fits. A couple of minutes later, the meat is less than half its original size. I wonder if it’s done.

“Fred’s Dreams” is published every Wednesday.

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