Oops, that may not be the best title. Oh well, it’s been typed & I am not going back. When was my last post? I don’t know. I think I was writing about getting a band going & being over 35. Somehow, I have kept the band thing up (do you live in the greater Tampa Bay area & play drums? check out http://www.myspace.com/tragedybecomesher.) In some ways the band may be keeping me sane. So that was where I left off. And then I got all Jobed. Minus, you know, the boils. Suddenly I was on the brink of divorce, laid off & dealing with the possibility of foreclosure. Suddenly I was an episode of Oprah with lots of layers & no focus. I was at home with my son, trying to make his days full & happy. Mostly trying not to just cry all the time. Or at least shut the bathroom door.

The file is too big, or I would have cued Dr. Dog‘s song “The Beach” right here.

Of course, there are some way worse cases out there. Some real Jobes (Jobs? However you want it.) I know that, so quit yer mumbling.

Counseling is a good thing. I highly recommend it. Do you know all the things your spouse is afraid to tell you? I didn’t, and neither did he. What the EFF is the point of worrying all the time about what will happen when you open your mouth and ask for what you really need? Getting my marriage back on track to a certain degree has allowed me to focus more clearly on some other important goings on.

Like, what the EFF are all us laid off artists supposed to do with this down time? I got laid off, and I got depressed & pooped out. But I figured, you know, I was the last writer to have been brought on board at the agency, so I should have known it would be me (although there were others). Then a friend of mine got laid off, half of her production company got the ax. She was nowhere near being last hired, she was just expendable. We started to talk about the other agencies & production companies in the area, none of whom were hiring. Frankly, we didn’t want to work for them anyway. So I asked her what she would really like to be doing? She said producing docs & music videos. I said throw in short films & me too. Then I said let’s just start doing them. WTF, why not? I got a PT job that just pays enough to help us get by, so why not?

I am now a partner in Two Birds Productions. Website coming soon. We are making a music video & a mini-doc for an artist named Geri X. Maybe it’s crazy. We don’t have an office. We don’t have equipment (well, not much). But it turns out we have friends. Friends that are just as tired as we are of making crappy commercials. Friends who are crazy talented & crazy enough to hand over their weekends to us. Maybe they are hoping we’ll succeed & they can come work for us & make something beautiful for a change. Maybe they will.

And on the third plague, you can criticize me for my three year ARM all you want. You couldn’t possibly kick me more than I am kicking myself. I live in Florida, my home has depreciated in value like 28% since I bought it. But if I had done it 6 years ago, or if home values had stayed the same, we’d be singin’ a totally different tune. All I can do is fill out the forms & hope for the best at this point. I feel bamboozled, but I take full responsibility.

What I know is that I want to come out of this recession/depression, and look back and say that I made my own fate, and that I came out better than when I got sucked in.

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Van McO

Van only writes when things get crazy, she is inconsistent at best. Don't get hooked. She is otherwise busy being a mom, wife, professional tidying maven (yes, that's a thing for which people will pay money), and working at killing the cancer.

Latest posts by Van McO (Posts)

• Floating into 2018 - February 7, 2018
• Looking forward - November 16, 2017
• All that remains - September 26, 2017
• The food thing - August 11, 2017
• Is it over now? - July 20, 2017

Tags: art & entertainment, money // 3 Comments »