January 15, 2009
I dream I am at my parents’ house and Mr. Giraffe comes to visit. Mr. Giraffe has a human appearance, but he is clearly part giraffe — extremely tall with light brown coloring. Mr. Giraffe speaks for the environment and calls recent infractions to our attention. He wants to take me by the hand and show me the places on the lawn where we have misbehaved. Even though his hands are enormous, and I am conscious of the possibility that he could easily crush me, I take his hand. I am not sure what we did, but a visit from Mr. Giraffe is serious and we will have to correct our environmental mistakes.

December 30, 2008
I dream I am having a party at my parents’ home on Clark Street. Obama has just been elected president and there is much rejoicing. Every guest is a significant buxom woman from some period in my life. I have not dressed for this party; I am wearing nothing but a bathrobe. The women think it’s cute, but I am straining to conceal my tumescence. At the end of the party I have to get dressed because I am to give a couple of the women rides home.

June 14, 1999
I dream my life is a movie and I live with my father, Jack Nicholson, in a luxury condominium. I am playing with a novelty grasshopper hatchery in a paper bag and I see that they’re about to hatch. I leave the condo and run down the hall. I’m careful to hold the bag tightly, but I trip in front of the elevator and lose my grip. A few grasshoppers escape and crawl up my arm and under my shirt. By the time the elevator door opens, the walls, floor, and ceiling are coated with a thick layer of grasshoppers. I run for the stairs, covered with grasshoppers, and I try to get as many of them out of the building as I can. I fear the condo board will find out and get me.

 

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