Panic! (A vision of the future)
The week of Obama’s inauguration, White House Press Secretary Dana Perino announces a special press conference for the White House Press Corps. This will be George W. Bush’s final address as 43rd President of the United States. We go live to that conference already in progress:
“We got you good,” says Bush on-screen, smiling. He looks down to his notes.
“We’ve been making gasoline from water and old garbage since the 70’s and selling it to you. There is no shortage! National debt? Ha! We’ve paid it all off with gas money and have a surplus. We’re going to give fifty-thousand to everyone. What’s more, I recently talked with Hamas leader, Khaled Mashal, and Israeli Prime Minister, Ehud Olmert, and these two gentlemen have agreed to eternal peace. Along with Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, they will head a task force to stop terrorism and educate the Middle-East on the dangers of Islamic extremism. Say hi, guys.”
The three men smile and wave from behind Bush on the platform. Ahmadinejad says something in Olmert’s ear. Olmert smiles and nods. Bush continues.
“Cheney couldn’t be here, but he wants everyone to know he never shot anyone, intentionally or accidentally. The whole Halliburton thing was all publicity too, all good-cop bad-cop.
People around the world sit dumbfounded.
“We want Obama to start with a clean slate. We want change too. Right McCain?” Bush hands the wireless microphone to McCain.
“Yes friends, it’s true. We can make desert into farmland. Um — Friends, we have the cure for AIDS. We–”
A man steps to the podium beside Bush and whispers in his ear. Bush grabs the microphone from McCain, “That’s all for now. Be happy. More later.”
Bush and McCain walk from the podium toward the door. The reporters are on their feet. They shout questions as they push towards the podium. Men with earpieces and dark sunglasses form a wall in front of the stage. Bush turns and shouts at the mob a final time.
“Global Warming is something made up to distract you from corrupt politics and divide the populations. There are no more atomic weapons!”
He runs through the door which is quickly shut by security. A shoe, thrown from the crowd, hits the door and falls to the ground.
In the corridor, Bush and McCain power-walk to catch up with the others. Bush is laughing.
“That was fun. Everyone should have a good time — until the comet hits anyway.” McCain chuckles. “Let’s get to the choppers so we can meet them NASA boys.”
“Guess I won’t need this microphone anymore?” asks Bush.
McCain’s smile drops.
“Microphone?”
Back in the press room, Bush’s words echo off the walls.
Panic!
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