It is important that we remain happy, as it apparently helps other people be happy. So I thought I would share some happy news. The Bratz dolls may soon die.

I’ve hated the Bratz dolls from the moment I saw them. I didn’t even have kids at the time. It’s just that they are always dressed in some slutty outfit with some provocative look on their face. Bratz dolls represent the teenager I don’t want my daughter to become — so I am holding out hope that a new ruling in the case against MGA Entertainment, the Bratz manufacturer, will really make them go away.

Mattel, the maker of the Barbie Doll, sued the maker of Bratz for copyright infringement and after more than four years, has won. The court order says “MGA may no longer manufacture, sell, advertise or license its core lineup of Bratz dolls or any other product with the Bratz name.” And although Mattel can always change its mind, company executives did ask in court filings “for permission to destroy the dolls.”

Good riddance to you, Bratz.

Tags: on the law by Amy Boshnack
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Some people are just miserable. The other day I was walking to the railroad and five out of six people I passed seemed ready to rip the head off of any person who might look at them funny. It could be that it was a cold, dark, Monday night after a long holiday weekend. Or it could be that people are just seriously depressed and ready to snap at any moment. Whatever the reason, a new report showing that happiness is contagious could not have come at a better time.

And even more exciting, happiness is contagious in a “pay forward” kind of way; it spreads from friend to friend. So I’ve decided I need to be happier. I owe it to the people I love to increase their happiness. I will smile more. I will look on the bright side more. I will not get so angry when the person in a hurry mumbles under their breath as they push me aside, or when I get cut off at an intersection. I will only think positive thoughts; the glass will always be half-full.

I wonder how long I can possibly keep this up. Maybe, at least, through the holidays. Although, I do still need to shop for gifts and the crowds are generally inconsiderate, annoying, and downright rude. Hmmm, maybe I can do this every other day?

Tags: health & medical by Amy Boshnack
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Dear Ruby Mac
I’m in my mid-forties and single, never married. I’m pretty much a loner and don’t date much, but when I do meet interesting single women, more often than not they are on the younger side. We’re talking age thirty give or take a few years either way. For whatever reason, these gals tend to be attracted to me. My theory is that since they are younger, I think that they view me with little interest and I comfortably fall into my geek/intellectual tendencies (music, books, politics) and somehow they find this charming.

What do you think about dating younger people? My guy friends think I rule for even considering it, my gal pals roll their eyes. I’ve been told (ironically by a gal pal) that the math works this way: Divide your age by two and then add seven to that and this is the age of the youngest person you can date. Your thoughts?

Thanks, Guy

Dear Guy,
Honestly, do you expect me to believe that you’re going to give up a chance at face-sucking just because you can’t take a little eye-rolling?

Of course not. Romance wins. It may not win because it should and it may not win forever, but a shot at soul-matery beats platonic camraderie every time. For every smart guy like you making foolish choices, there’s a smart woman doing the same thing. Hook up already! Your friends will make the temporary or permanent adjustment, as needed.

Does age matter? Well, I won’t pay 9 bucks to see Jack Nicholson with anybody under 60 anymore, but in reality, who cares? If you’re not Woody Allen-icky and she’s neither related, under coercion, or wearing a prairie dress, then proceed legally.

Eyes will roll. And inevitably, as time goes on and she continues to miss your snarkiest, cleverest pop culture references about obscure sports television shows of the 70s, those eyes may be your own. 

Best, Ruby

Confused? Tell Ruby all about it here.

Tags: advice by Ruby Mac
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September 29, 2008
I dream I am in a hilly yet urban snowy area with a grid of trails and steps and tunnels and fences. In this community, everyone is playing a war game. We all have guns and we are all attempting to shoot each other as we come around corners. I am shot, blithely, by a young man laying in wait for me so the game appears to be over for me. I get up and start walking towards the fence. I can’t get out, but I chip away at the fence so I can get a look at the other side where there seems to be a thriving, happy city. I’d like to break through the fence, but gendarmes are there to prevent me from coming in.

March 8, 2000
I dream I live in a cross between my parents’ house and a college dorm. I have a relationship with a sexy but elderly woman who likes helping me with my teaching. After a long day of her mentorship, I get an inkling that she wants to go to bed with me. I set the alarm and she comes into my bedroom to give me a gift. It’s a gun. I don’t want a gun, but I don’t want to seem ungracious. The landlord comes in and pressures me to accept the gun. I never have sex with the mentor.

February 3, 1994
I dream my life is the plot of a new action movie and I have an auto body repair business right in front of my high rise apartment building. I have a disgruntled employee who threatens to kill me with a rivet gun. He stalks me through the building and I hide in crawl spaces between staircases. He is never far behind me, but he doesn’t catch up.

Tags: Fred's dreams by Fred Siegel
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A new report delivered by a panel, that had been assembled by Congress, says a biological terror attack will happen by 2013. According to CNN.com, terrorists “are more likely to use a biological weapon than a nuclear one — and the results could be devastating.”

What am I supposed to do with this information? It’s not that I don’t want to be clued in, but I just don’t see how this information does anything for me — other than terrify me.

After reading this I wondered if there was anything I could, in fact, do to prevent becoming a victim. Should I move somewhere less likely to be a target? I can move to Dallas in an effort to still be in a city — just not New York City. I hear Colorado is nice and maybe it would be good to slow my pace down a bit. But would this even help my family to avoid being the next victims of terror? The report didn’t specify which city is most likely to be hit — only that America will, most definitely, be attacked. Should I be building an underground bunker of some kind? Would that even keep me safe from a biological attack? How are we, as average American citizens, supposed to deal with this information? Can we really even prepare?

I’d venture to guess that no one living, working, and visiting Mumbai thought a bunch of insane terrorists were going to descend on them last weekend. These warnings do nothing for me. I pay my taxes to have an effective government protect me. I take back what I said earlier… it is that I just don’t want to be clued in!

Tags: terror & war by Amy Boshnack
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My hands were shaking. My breath was coming in short gasps. I picked up the phone. Put it down. I wondered if I was being too hasty, if I would feel differently in the morning. Would I come to regret this on a lonely night when I was home with nothing to do? But I had to. It was the right thing to do. I picked up the phone, dialed the number and… canceled my cable service.

Call it a New Year’s Resolution, one month ahead of schedule: Turn off the TV. I’ve been spending way too much time on the couch watching TV when I could be doing a million other things. Like laundry or cooking, taking the dog for a walk, taking myself for a walk, teaching Callie how to short-sheet a bed. Anything. Almost any activity in the world would be more useful than sitting around watching TV. [Read more →]

Tags: family & parenting, television by Stephanie West
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Some remarks are quoted so often we cease to pay attention to them. The quips of Oscar Wilde, for instance, trip so easily off the tongue and skip so lightly through the mind that we rarely pause to consider their point. This is unfortunate, because there is often more weight to Wilde’s wit than is commonly acknowledged. Two of his best-known epigrams are spoken by Lord Darlington in Lady Windermere’s Fan. Cecil Graham asks Darlington, “What is a cynic?” He tells him it is “a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.” It is also Lord Darlington who says that “we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”

These are more than mere witticisms, and they complement each other as the obverse and reverse of the same insight. For those among us in the gutter who disdain to watch the stars are likely to be the same ones who cannot distinguish between cost and worth.

Wilde was the leading figure in what was called the Aesthetic Movement, beneath whose frivolous façade lurked some altogether serious notions. Wilde’s The Soul of Man Under Socialism may well be the best book on the subject precisely because it considers it in relation to man’s soul. Wilde understood that the quality of human life is not something you can enter on the bottom line. More precisely, as the aforementioned epigrams make clear, he understood that to be satisfied with the merely quantifiable is also to display a woeful lack of imagination. [Read more →]

Tags: that's what he said, by Frank Wilson by Frank Wilson
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So, this weekend, we finally saw the curiously anhedonic Quantum of Solace. It started off well enough, with a solid car chase and a lot of expensive damage, but when it skipped the traditional James Bond theme opening and went straight to a really, really bad song, I knew it was going to be a bumpy ride.

[Read more →]

Tags: movies by Olga Gardner Galvin
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