Paula: Now that the election is over and Obama has won, I wonder how much of his success can be owed to the influence of Jewish grandchildren on their grandparents. You’ve probably seen Sarah Silverman’s famed YouTube piece, The Great Schlep. The fact is, there was plenty of arm-twisting going on — I know because my daughter and her friends were very involved with getting their grandparents to vote for Obama. And he did end up winning Florida.

 
  Robert: The idea that these grandchildren were successful in persuading the older folks to vote for Obama is startling to me. Among African Americans, there is not a sense that young people can or are supposed to persuade older folks of anything. There is a lot of faux praise of the wisdom of the elderly among African Americans. I’m not sure all this respect is “real,” but it is real to the extent that it discourages young black folks from playing this type of role with their parents. Young black folks would just do their thing in opposition to the older folks. But they wouldn’t be invited to an opportunity to sit and persuade.

Do you think there was anything awkward about the Obama campaign turning to the Jewish kids to help them get their grandparents’ support?

 

Paula: I do think that there is a tendency in Jewish families to give a great deal of power to the younger generation. In this respect, perhaps the culture is unique. In its worst manifestation, you get the Jewish prince and Jewish princess — spoiled kids who think they can boss their elders around and get whatever they want. On the good side is the sense that kids have that they will be listened to and that they can persuade their elders to understand their position, to give up old biases and old ways.

The susceptibility of Jewish grandparents to their grandchildren is impossible to overstate. A Jewish grandchild who plays her cards right can have her way with her grandma or grandpa. And I think the notion that these kids can persuade the old codgers to be more idealistic and hopeful, to see the best of the future because the future is reflected in their grandchildren whom they think the world of — is a really great thing.

I also think that it’s the Jewish grandchildren working for Obama who came up with the idea of making this part of the campaign, and I don’t think there was anything really awkward about that. It trades on ethnic identity in the best sense by deploying it for nonsectarian, idealistic ends. It is built on a paradox. It implies that the kid is hugely entitled in having so much influence within the family while suggesting that the kid wants to use that enormous power to better the world and be fairer to everyone.

 

Robert: I have to tell you this aspect of Jewish culture seems utterly enthralling to me. Damn, I am envious. I think one of the best things parents and elders can do for their children is to give them responsibility, real responsibility. (Yes, it has to be within limits, etc.)

Strange as it might seem, my dad gave me an incredible gift when in the past few years (as his Parkinson’s worsened), he allowed me to direct his health care. My father was a man of frugality and discipline and responsibility, and for him to pass on major responsibility to me has been a gift. It may be one aspect of my life I’m most proud of: the way I’ve directed my father’s medical care. He pretty much follows my guidance, and this is new and empowering.

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