Entries Tagged as 'Bob Sullivan’s top ten everything'

adviceBob Sullivan's top ten everything

Top ten driving tips

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10. DON’T KEEP SWITCHING LANES. Research has shown that changing lanes rarely gets you there faster in the long run, and so many accidents happen from changing lanes, especially if you’re all the way over to the left and want to move to the right, and there’s some guy to your right like half a car-length back, right in your blind spot.

9. WATCH OUT FOR THE OTHER GUY. if you’re that driver to the right of Driver #1, keep out of his blind spot as much as possible, but if you’re passing (and why are you passing on the left?) and are momentarily in his blind spot, be ready to tap on your brakes, swerve a little to the right, and maybe honk all at the same time!

8. LOOK AT THINGS HOLISTICALLY. If you’re to the right of Driver #2 while he’s passing Driver #1, be aware that he may suddenly swerve a little to the right.
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Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingreligion & philosophy

Top ten ways the new hip progressive Pope Francis is celebrating Easter Sunday

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10. Instead of blessing everyone from his balcony, he’s doing his monologue from ground level, like Leno.

9. He’s inviting Benedict XVI over for an afternoon showing of Philomena.

8. He’s holding an Easter Egg Roll – not that kind – he’s just calling his local Chinese to order 3,000 egg rolls!

7. He’s starting his own Easter papal ‘white smoke’ tradition (wink wink), followed by a Council of the Cardinals discussion of how current Theological thinking fits in with today’s debate between String Theory and Loop Quantum Gravity.
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Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingreligion & philosophy

Top ten lines from a joke you have until April 20 to memorize, so you can recite it at Easter Dinner

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10. Tom, Dick, and Harry are in a VW when they have a head-on collision with a Mack truck.

9. Suddenly, they find themselves walking across these white billowy clouds towards there pearly gates.

8. As they start running towards the gates, St. Peter swoops in and says, “Wait a second, you can’t just come buzzing in here like you own the place!…”
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Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingreligion & philosophy

Top ten people going to hell

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10. People who say, “No offence, but…” and then keep on talking.

9. Telemarketers/robocallers.

8. People who prove every day that there really is such a thing as a dumb question.

7. Any dentist who tries to carry on a conversation while your mouth is chockfull of Novocain and metal torture instruments.
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Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingends & odd

Top ten “Did you know…?”s

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10. Did you know that the bigger they are, the harder they’re going to hit you?

9. Did you know that the reason all nurses carry red pens is so that they can draw blood?

8. Did you know that there’s no use beating a dead horse – unless you’re into that kinda thing?
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Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingrace & culture

Top ten Irish euphemisms for having sex

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10. Shagging

9. Knocking Knickers

8. Licking the Leprechaun

7. Drowning the Shillelagh
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Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingrecipes & food

Top ten other names considered for Shmeat, the world’s first meat grown in a test tube

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10. Shamburgers

9. Peking Yuck

8. Barbecue Fibs
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Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingmovies

Top ten things overheard at last night’s Oscars

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10. “Look at some of those necklines! I just hope Jonah Hill keeps his thing in his pants.”

9. “Streep’s up for Best Actress? How odd!”

8. “Well, obviously the fix is in. Not a single nomination for Grown-Ups 2.”
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Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingmovies

Top ten signs your film is not going to win an Academy Award

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10. It stars Meryl Streep, but not the famous one

9. It’s called Captain Phillips Milk of Magnesia

8. Adam Sandler has never been wackier
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Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingsports

Top ten things overheard by Russian microphones at Sochi

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10. “That’s the gayest opening ceremony I’ve ever seen!”

9. “I guess they’ll be taking Shaun White’s picture off all those gum packages now.”

8. “Man, the drinking water’s the same color, whether it’s going in or out of my body.”
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Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingliving poetry

Top ten favorite lines for a Valentine’s Day poem

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10. I pray your Valentine’s Day is the best.

9. I know mine will be, if I am with you.

8. Since first we met, I know that I’ve been blessed!
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animalsBob Sullivan's top ten everything

Now that they’re allowing mixed breeds, top ten breeds at today’s Westminster Dog Show

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10. Labradoodle

9. Snickerdoodle

8. Belgian Airehead
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Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingsports

Top ten rejected Winter Olympic events

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10. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Doubles Luge

9. Snowplowing

8. Synchronized Curling
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Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingmusic

Top ten names of rock bands, just before they picked their current names

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10. Silver Beatles

9. The Strolling Roans

8. Guns and Ammo
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Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Top ten Chris Christie excuses for Bridgegate

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10. “It was a traffic study: We were studying how far you could push a Jersey guy, already stuck in traffic for eight hours, before he starts punchin’ headlights!”

9. “I figured if thousands of commuters were stranded in Fort Lee, it had to be great for the local economy!”

8. “Would you believe: ‘I don’t remember, I was in a drunken stupor’?”
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Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingenvironment & nature

Top ten answers to the question, “How cold is it?”

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10. It’s so cold, you have to open the fridge freezer to heat the house

9. It’s so cold, the National Aquarium in Baltimore just realized it no longer needed all that glass

8. It’s so cold, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford spent all last night trying to snort a snowbank
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Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingends & odd

Top ten 2014 New Year’s Resolutions I’ve already broken

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10. I will never again smash into somebody’s car just to knock the cell phone out of their hand.

9. I promise to lose weight – or at least stay the same.

8. I will use less deodorant and do more laundry.
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adviceBob Sullivan's top ten everything

Top ten axioms to get your new year off on the right foot

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10. Time is the stuff that keeps everything from happening at once.

9. Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.

8. I’ll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one.
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Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingtelevision

Top ten least popular holiday specials

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10. America’s Funniest Home Nutcracker Videos

9. Chris Christie’s Twelve Days of Christmas Dinners

8. The Seven Dwarfs in Whistle While You Twerk
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Bob Sullivan's top ten everythinggames

Top ten most dangerous holiday toys

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10. Gasp! – The Saran Wrap Game

9. Mr. Wizard’s Home Lobotomy Kit

8. Miss Piggy’s Swine Flu Self-Inoculator
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