In case he runs for Mayor of New York City, top ten Anthony Weiner slogans
10. Vote for a Stand-Up Guy!
9. The Right Man with the Right Staff!
8. Anthony Weiner! – He’s the Full Package!
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Entries Tagged as 'Bob Sullivan’s top ten everything'
Top ten things your mother doesn’t want to hear on Mother’s Day
10. “No Mother’s Day card this year, but I did send you a tweet!”
9. “I’m taking you out to dinner, but you have to hurry; Taco Bell closes at nine.”
8. “The word ‘love’ seems a little strong. I can ‘tolerate’ you.”
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Top ten signs your horse isn’t going to win the Kentucky Derby
10. His odds are about the same as Romney’s winning the next Presidential election
9. The racing form states he’s a descendant of Seattle Stew
8. He’s scared of crowds
7. His nickname is Tripod
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Top ten excuses for filing your taxes late
10. “If all those Congressman can’t figure out their finances, how do you expect me to?”
9. “I have a deathly fear of 1040 paper cuts.”
8. “Trying to use the Qualified Dividends and Capital Gains Tax Worksheet gave me a severe brain cramp.”
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Top ten things you don’t want to hear from your accountant today
10. “Look, if you file late, it’s no skin off my nose.”
9. “I’m pretty sure you just multiply your income by 1040.”
8. “You needed another deduction, so I billed you again.”
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Top ten signs your team isn’t ready for the baseball season
10. When the umpire yells “Play ball!” your entire team runs to second base
9. They feel weak and listless without their Twinkies
8. One player gets injured standing for the National Anthem
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Top ten favorite Bible quotes
10. “As ye sew, so shall ye rip.”
9. “The meek shall inherit the earth. They won’t have the nerve to refuse it.”
8. “Many are cold, but few are frozen.”
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Easter Bunny’s top ten pet peeves
10. Not being allowed to keep a naughty or nice list because of potential copyright infringement
9. Inhaling so much plastic grass, he’s developed artificial hay fever
8. Not getting time and a half for working on Sunday
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Top ten things overheard at yesterday’s St. Patrick’s Day parade
10. “How can you say I have a weak stomach? Look how far I’m throwin’ it!”
9. “Cover your eyes, kids!”
8. “No, that’s not a leprechaun. But since when is Tom Cruise Irish?!”
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Top ten good things about having the flu
10. You can curl up on the couch and catch up on your “stories”
9. No one will come near you, so you’re much less likely to catch someone else’s cold
8. With a high enough fever, Adam Sandler actually starts seeming funny again
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Top ten new slogans for Carnival Cruise Lines
10. Where the Ship Hits the Fan!
9. The Greatest Tow on Earth!
8. Drifting Along for Over 40 Years!
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Top ten movie mashups
10. The Bourne Yesterday
9. Escape to Brokeback Mountain
8. The Empire Strikes Back to the Future
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Top ten answers to the question “How cold is it?”
10. It’s so cold, you have trouble jump-starting your polar bear
9. It’s so cold, TSA agents are required to put on mittens before fondling you
8. It’s so cold, your teeth won’t stop chattering – and they’re still in the glass
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Top ten favorite lines for a Valentine’s Day poem
10. If anyone deserves a special day,
9. It’s you, my Valentine, my dear Maureen.
8. You are so fair, in every single way.
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Top ten things overheard at last night’s Grammys
10. “How are LeAnn Rimes and Busta Rhymes related, exactly?”
9. “Yes, I’m Vanilla Ice. Now can I show you to your seat?”
8. “In what month is thing scheduled to end?”
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Top ten San Francisco 49ers’ excuses
10. “For some reason, we never received our pregame ‘care package’ from Lance Armstrong.”
9. “We’re confused. Since when is it not best out of seven?”
8. “Too much pre-game gumbo.”
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Top ten signs your new year is off to a bad start
10. Your New Year’s kiss left smudge marks on the television screen
9. Your co-workers posted on YouTube the video of you at the office Christmas party, Xeroxing your butt
8. You started the new year with ten fingers and ten toes – now, not so many
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Top ten excuses of Gerald Streator of Waukesha, Wisconsin, who was arrested for having sex with a couch
10. “It was a love seat.”
9. “I figured it was safe sex. It was wearing a plastic slipcover.”
8. “My recliner at home recently left me.”
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Top ten Disneyland-Lucasfilm projects planned for the new year
10. When You Wish Upon A Death Star
9. Snow White and the Seven Ewoks
8. The Lightsaber in the Stone
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Top ten signs your film won’t be nominated for an Academy Award
10. It’s called The Life of Pie, starring Chris Christie
9. Tyler Perry’s in it, but he’s not wearing a dress
8. The title contains either the words ‘John’ or ‘Carter’
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