Entries Tagged as 'Bob Sullivan’s top ten everything'

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingenvironment & nature

Top ten answers to the question “How hot is it?”

No Gravatar

10. “It’s so hot, my tongue got a sunburn telling somebody how hot it was.”

9. “It’s so hot, Optimus Prime decided to transform into an air conditioner.”

8. “It’s so hot, I have a brand on my stomach shaped like a seat belt.”

7. “It’s so hot, Hillary Clinton has been semi-campaigning in her pantsuit…without the pants.”

6. “It’s so hot, Donald Sterling attended an NAACP meeting just for the chilly reception.”

5. “It’s so hot, this morning I saw a bum with a sign that read ‘Will Work For Shade’.”

4. “It’s so hot, I saw a fire hydrant chasing down a dog.”

3. “It’s so hot, squirrels are pouring Gatorade on their nuts.”

2. “It’s so hot, I set my house on fire, just to cool it off.”

1. “It’s so hot, in Colorado and Washington, joints are lighting themselves.”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingrecipes & food

Top ten suggested names for Anthony Weiner’s new restaurant

No Gravatar

10. Wienerschnitzel

9. Chuck E. Sleaze’s

8. Red Throbbin’

7. Long Schlong Silver’s

6. Horny & Hardon

5. P. F. Wang’s

4. Dick-fil-A

3. Rock Hard Cafe

2. Jock full o’Nuts

1. Anthony’s Sex-Text Tex-Mex

 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

After the botched lethal injection in Arizona, top ten better ways to execute a condemned man

No Gravatar

10. Check him into a VA hospital

9. Put him in a time machine, and let Joseph Gordon-Levitt deal with him at the other end

8. Give him an all-expenses-paid vacation to the Gaza Strip

7. Have Paula Deen prepare his last meal

6. Send him to Atlanta, and make one of those Ebola doctors his roomie

5. Book him a flight on Malaysia Airlines

4. Hand him the keys to a General Motors car

3. Send him to Texas, where they execute so many inmates, they’ve installed electric bleachers

2. Force him to watch the Sarah Palin Channel 24/7

1. Have him stand between Chris Christie and an all-you-can-eat buffet
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Top ten new shows on the Sarah Palin Channel

No Gravatar

10. Whose Lie Is It Anyway?

9. B.J. and the Mama Grizzly

8. Minimal Minds
[Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Now that Warren G. Harding’s love letters to his mistress have revealed that he used to refer to his penis as ‘Jerry’, top ten other nicknames for Presidential penises

No Gravatar

10. President Lincoln: The Rail Splitter

9. President George W. Bush: My Weapon of Mass Destruction

8. President George H. W. Bush: The Idiot Producer
[Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingends & odd

Top ten complaints of Danielle Davies, a 39-year-old New Jersey woman who is dating a life-size cardboard cutout of Bradley Cooper

No Gravatar

10. “The police still won’t let me use the car pool lane.”

9. “Every time we go to dinner, it always winds up being my treat!

8. “My Robert Downey Jr. cutout is always getting jealous.”
[Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingends & odd

Top ten suggested new slogans for GM

No Gravatar

10. Our Cars Switch Off Randomly – Saving You Gas!

9. Igniting Excitement!

8. Our Cars Are Captivating! (Not Decapitating)
[Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingsports

Top ten nicknames for Uruguayan soccer star Luis Suarez

No Gravatar

10. The Hungry Hungry Hippo

9. Chewbacca

8. Great Bitten
[Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingrecipes & food

Top ten things you don’t want to hear at Friday’s Fourth of July barbecue

No Gravatar

10. “I knew it was a bad idea to leave the fireworks in the trunk on a day this hot!”

9. “Who invited Eric Cantor? He’s gonna bring everybody down!”

8. “These burgers are actually made with Shmeat — you know, those shamburgers grown in a test tube.”
[Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingmusic

Top ten songs in the new Rob Ford musical, premiering at Toronto’s Factory Theatre this September

No Gravatar

10. Baby Got Crack

9. I’m a Boozer

8. Michael Row the Bloat Ashore
[Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingtelevision

Top ten new shows on The Cat Network

No Gravatar

10. The King James Persian

9. Here and Meow

8. Paper Tiger
[Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingeducation

Top ten least popular prom themes

No Gravatar

10. One Night on a Carnival Cruise!

9. Donald Sterling’s Plantation Hoedown

8. Journey to the Center of My Pants
[Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingeducation

Top ten signs you’re not going to graduate from high school this year

No Gravatar

10. On your British Literature final, you put Pride and Prejudice was written by Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling

9. The only times you’ve ever raised your hand in class involved needing to pee

8. Your son is in the same grade you are
[Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingon the law

Top ten excuses of Lonnie Hutton, a 49-year-old Murfreesboro, Tennessee man who was arrested for trying to have sex with an ATM machine

No Gravatar

10. “Why not have sex with a cash machine? I mean, if it’s good enough for Donald Sterling’s girlfriend…”

9. “I thought it was a sperm bank.”

8. “I couldn’t control myself. The ATM was shakin’ its money maker.”
[Read more →]

adviceBob Sullivan's top ten everything

Top ten signs your house needs a spring cleaning

No Gravatar

10. Your dust bunnies are breeding like rabbits

9. The Health Department has you on speed dial

8. Your Christmas tree is left over from the President Bush years – the first President Bush
[Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s top ten campaign slogans

No Gravatar

10. Rob Ford: A Crack Politician If Ever There Was One!

9. The Mayor Who Just Won’t Quit!

8. My First Term Doesn’t Count! I Was In a Drunken Stupor!
[Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingsports

Top ten excuses of Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling

No Gravatar

10. “I’m no racist! My basketball team is well over half black!”

9. “Poor people and middle-class people are racists; billionaires are just eccentric.”

8. “I’m no more racist than my good buddy, Cliven Bundy.”
[Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingtravel & foreign lands

Top ten reasons the Putins got divorced

No Gravatar

10. They were married for 30 years. Enough is enough!

9. Mrs. Putin was hoping, in the divorce settlement, she’d get half of Russia.

8. Edward Snowden leaked some photos of Vladimir in flagrante delicto with Russia gymnast Alina Kabaeva.
[Read more →]

adviceBob Sullivan's top ten everything

Top ten driving tips

No Gravatar

10. DON’T KEEP SWITCHING LANES. Research has shown that changing lanes rarely gets you there faster in the long run, and so many accidents happen from changing lanes, especially if you’re all the way over to the left and want to move to the right, and there’s some guy to your right like half a car-length back, right in your blind spot.

9. WATCH OUT FOR THE OTHER GUY. if you’re that driver to the right of Driver #1, keep out of his blind spot as much as possible, but if you’re passing (and why are you passing on the left?) and are momentarily in his blind spot, be ready to tap on your brakes, swerve a little to the right, and maybe honk all at the same time!

8. LOOK AT THINGS HOLISTICALLY. If you’re to the right of Driver #2 while he’s passing Driver #1, be aware that he may suddenly swerve a little to the right.
[Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingreligion & philosophy

Top ten ways the new hip progressive Pope Francis is celebrating Easter Sunday

No Gravatar

10. Instead of blessing everyone from his balcony, he’s doing his monologue from ground level, like Leno.

9. He’s inviting Benedict XVI over for an afternoon showing of Philomena.

8. He’s holding an Easter Egg Roll – not that kind – he’s just calling his local Chinese to order 3,000 egg rolls!

7. He’s starting his own Easter papal ‘white smoke’ tradition (wink wink), followed by a Council of the Cardinals discussion of how current Theological thinking fits in with today’s debate between String Theory and Loop Quantum Gravity.
[Read more →]

Next Page »