Entries Tagged as 'politics & government'

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Now that he’s ‘like’d a porn video on Twitter, Ted Cruz’s top ten favorite porn films

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10. Ball the President’s Men

9. Barbara’s Bush

8. Politically Erect

7. Pussy-Graber-in-Chief

6. The Devil in Miss Conway

5. Filibuster Cherry

4. Nazi-jism

3. Nailin’ Palin

2. Cruzin’

1. Deep Pockets
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

After eight CEOs resigned from Trump’s Manufacturing Council because of his response to Charlottesville, top ten companies that have offered to join

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10. Alt-Right Guard

9. Goebbels ’n Bits

8. White-In Liquid Paper

7. Grey Goose Step Vodka

6. Invading Poland Spring Water

5. Death Campfire Marshmallows

4. MixMaster Race

3. K-K-K-Y Jelly

2. Eva Brawny Towels

1. Reich Krispies
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Mr. Sean goes to Washingtonpolitics & government

Why Trump is so very Trump: a step-by-step analysis

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Shortly before the presidential election, I wrote if we had a Trump presidency, it would most resemble that of his fellow dark horse candidate Franklin Pierce: “Like Trump, Pierce was surrounded by chaos. (Though, unlike Trump, it wasn’t usually of his creation.)”

So far, so good.

It’s hard to remember sometimes, but from a historical standpoint Trump took office during an unusually stable moment in America’s history. We are a nation that’s fought two World Wars, suffered a handful of economic freefalls, seen our President die in office on eight occasions, had the British burn our capital, and for a time splintered apart completely.

By comparison—and this is no way ignores numerous massive problems, such as the fact you can’t refer to our nation’s infrastructure without using the word “crumbling”—America right now is a lazy summer day.

Of course, America doesn’t feel like a lazy summer day: nope, it’s the middle of winter and we’re freezing to death on the tundra, yet somehow simultaneously getting hit by a category 5 hurricane at the same moment the killer bees attack.

In what may be the biggest understatement of all time, there appear to be aspects of Donald Trump that could prove challenging to a successful presidency. Understand: most presidents have qualities or experiences that threaten their ability to lead. Pierce himself witnessed his son die in a train accident shortly before taking office and promptly went on to be a truly miserable Commander-in-Chief. However, we have also seen presidents overcome absurdly long odds to find success, as Lincoln’s struggles with depression and F.D.R.’s battle against polio didn’t stop either from being a great leader.

But if a president had depression and polio and refused to seek treatment for either condition and insisted on making fun of other people with depression and polio… well, that’s our Donald. [Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Top ten things Donald Trump said during his commencement speech at Liberty University

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10. “Relish the opportunity to be an outsider. You can be outside of so many things these days: a decent-paying job, the health care system,…”

9. “Betsy DeVos was going to be here to give a commencement speech, but she forgot how to read.”

8. “Liberty University ranks among the greatest institutions of higher learning, right up there with Trump University and Hogsworth.”

7. “I am amazed how many people are here today — there must be fifty or sixty million of you!”

6. “You aren’t going to let other people tell you what you believe, especially when you know that you’re right. You don’t need a lecture from Washington on how to lead your lives. That’s how each and every one of you should lead your life, and I know about this stuff because I’m from Washington.”

5. “Can you keep a secret? Oh, sorry, for a second there I thought you were all Russian.”

4. “Nothing is easier or more pathetic than being a critic. Just ask Little Marco, Lyin’ Ted, or Crooked Hillary.”

3. “I’m really glad to be here today at this phenomenal evangelical Christian university. No Muslims!

2. “Can anybody tell me why the Democrats never get blocked from doing anything? — Why is it always obstruction of just us?”

1. “Today you end one chapter but you are about to begin the greatest adventure of your life. Now you must go forth into the world and turn your hopes and dreams into action. America has always been the land of dreams because America is a nation of true believers. The future belongs to the dreamers, not to the critics. The future belongs to the people who follow their hearts no matter what the critics say because they truly believe in their vision. Carry yourself with dignity and pride. The more people tell you it’s not possible, that it can’t be done, the more you should be absolutely determined to prove them wrong. And always have the courage to be yourself. You have to do what you love. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m feeling a bit bloated, ’cause I just ate about a pound of fortune cookies!”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingmusic

Donald Trump’s top ten favorite songs

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10. Crazy (by Patsy Cline)

9. Back in the U.S.S.R. (by The Beatles)

8. You’re So Vain (by Carly Simon)

7. Crazy (by Seal)

6. What’s New Pussy Cat? (by Tom Jones)

5. Electra Avenue (by Eddy Grant)

4. Catch a Falling Czar (by Perry Como)

3. Crazy (by Gnarls Barkley)

2. Urine My Heart (by Rod Stewart)

1. Putin on the Ritz (by Taco)
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Top ten Executive Orders Donald Trump plans to sign into law

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10. The Fat Ugly Face Law: Which bans Rosie O’Donnell from showing her fat ugly face, or any of her other fat ugly parts, in public.

9. The Long Wall Law: Which mandates the building of a wall between the U.S. and Mexico, up the East Coast, along the U.S.-Canadian border, and down the West Coast, to be built by whichever construction company covertly contributes the most money to Trump’s re-election campaign.

8. The P.G. Law: Which gives the Pussy-Grabber-in-Chief carte blanche.

7. The Don’t Ask Law: Which bans gays and lesbians from serving in the military, except maybe for the occasional USO show.

6. The Trickle-Down Law: Which reduces the taxes of corporations and one-percenters to zero, because we know they’re going to spend that extra money like crazy so everybody can get rich.

5. The No-Immigration Law: Which bans all further immigration, because isn’t the country already full enough?

4. The Peekaboo Law: Which will require a government-vetted male to stand outside every men’s room and a government-vetted female to stand outside every ladies’ room to check the genitalia of anyone wishing to use the facilities, with all unisex bathrooms banned outright.

3. Trumpcare: Obamacare’s replacement, which will save millions in federal dollars, and provide each family a DIY health kit containing, for example, a DVD interview with Russian surgeon Leonid Rogozov who, in 1961 Antarctica, was forced to remove his own appendix.

2. The Alternative Facts Law: Which mandates that every atlas and history book publisher must print a second version of each of their books, containing such alternative facts as the thrilling story of how the fearless Donald J. Trump single-handedly took out bin Laden.

1. The Wretched Movie Law: Which bans the showing, airing, or sale of the films A League of Their Own, Sleepless in Seattle, The Flintstones, Exit to Eden, Pitch Perfect 2, or any other movie featuring Rosie O’Donnell.
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Top ten protest signs from the Women’s March

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10. “TWEET WOMEN WITH RESPECT”

9. “A GIRL’S PLACE IS IN THE RESISTANCE”

8. “KEEP YOUR ROSARIES OFF MY OVARIES”

7. “THERE’S A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL FOR KELLYANNE”

6. “ANTI-CLIMATE, ANTI-WOMEN, ANTI-IMMIGRANT, ANTI-WORKER, ANTI-HEALTH CARE, ANTI-EDUCATION, ANTI-CHOICE, ANTI-CIVIL JUSTICE, ANTI-TRUTH. SAD!”

5. “WHAT DO WE WANT? EVIDENCE-BASED SCIENCE! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? AFTER PEER REVIEW!”

4. “KEEP YOUR TINY HANDS OFF MY RIGHTS”

3. “HONESTLY, THERE ARE TOO MANY PROBLEMS WITH THIS ADMINISTRATION TO ADEQUATELY SUMMARIZE IN ONE SIGN”

2. “THE TRUTH IS GOLDEN. SHOWER HIM IN IT!”

1. “OUR FIRST BLACKMAILED PRESIDENT”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Top ten things overheard at Friday’s Inauguration

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10. “The head of Trump’s inaugural committee says the Inauguration is going to feature a ‘soft sensuality’. Does that mean that, when Trump fucks the country, he’s going to be gentle about it?”

9. “After the Rockettes perform, I hear Trump is going to greet each one personally – in his special way.”

8. “I just hope Trump tweets about this Inauguration with all the dignity it deserves.”

7. “If you’re wondering what that low rumbling noise is, that’s every dead President rolling over in his grave.”

6. “Trump is being sworn in with the lowest approval rating ever! Thirty-two percent! – I mean, that three points lower than Zika!

5. “After the B Street Band, which is the Bruce Springsteen cover band, decided to withdraw from entertaining at Trump’s Inauguration, I heard that the C Street Band, which is the B Street Band cover band, decided to pull out, too. And, as of today, they’re up to the letter ‘L’.”

4. “I hope they wind up with the P Street Band – make that the P Sheet Band.”

3. “With what Trump’s said about delegating responsibility, shouldn’t they be swearing in Mike Pence?”

2. “So, in just a few minutes, George W. Bush will no longer officially be ‘America’s Worst President Ever’.”

1. “I can’t wait until he puts his hand on the Bible and it bursts into flames!”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

diatribespolitics & government

Appraising the Moment: A Cowardly New World

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Since the night of November 8th, when a friend who was watching the returns with me started vomiting and had to go home, I’ve tried to understand (not just explain) what prompted 46% of America’s shrunken electorate to vote for Donald Trump. I’ve failed. What I do know is, we are about to reap the whirlwind – and politically speaking, they will own it. [Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Top ten Donald Trump jokes the week before his Inauguration

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10. “They’re having a 20/20 special on Trump’s inauguration that’s forced ABC to push back its premiers of Scandal and How To Get Away With Murder – to make room for the special about Trump called Scandal, and How To Get Away With Murder.” – Jimmy Fallon, January 11

9. “Penthouse is offering a million dollars to anyone who has compromising videos of Donald Trump. When he heard about the offer, Trump provided the videos himself. ‘I know a good deal when I see one.’” – Jimmy Fallon, January 12

8. “Donald Trump reportedly paid aides and staffers to cheer and clap for him at his press conference yesterday. Eh, it’s not the worst thing he could pay people to do for him.” – Seth Meyers, January 12

7. “The big story right now is that Russia has enough embarrassing material on Donald Trump to blackmail him. On the other hand, so does anyone who follows Trump on Twitter. ” – Jimmy Fallon, January 11

6. “There’s a story going around causing a lot of strong feelings on both sides. Here’s the deal: there are these troubling allegations that Russia has compromising information on Donald Trump, and for reasons I can’t explain, some are calling it ‘Goldengate’.” – Stephen Colbert, January 12

5. “Donald Trump seemingly dismissed unverified reports that he hired prostitutes to perform golden showers in Russia, saying that he was very much of a germaphobe. I guess that’s why, when he meets beautiful women, he doesn’t grab them by the hand.” – Seth Meyers, January 11

4. “The graphic images in the report are, in fact, shocking. But, you know, anyone who has been in Trump’s apartments already knows that he loves gold: golden chairs, golden bathtubs, golden toilets. Panel, anything else in a bathroom that could be, you know, golden? Three living former Presidents are going to be in attendance at Trump’s Inauguration — George W. Bush, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton — while most other former Presidents wrote back to say they can’t make it because they’ll be busy rolling over in their graves.” – Tom Hanks, January 14

3. “As for this claim that, during a trip to Moscow, Trump paid prostitutes to urinate on the bed, that’s bullshit! Like we’re supposed to believe Trump has started paying people who do work for him?” – Samantha Bee, January 11

2. “The British MI6 agent who put together this information, Christopher Steele, is now on the run. According to The Daily Mail, he was seen fleeing his home yesterday, and asked a neighbor to take care of his cat. Oh, you’ve got to protect the cat, because Trump is known for grabbing the pussy.” – Stephen Colbert, January 12

1. “Everyone admits this report is unverified, and the man is about to be President of the United States, so I’m not going to validate that report by sharing the most salacious details from it. Even the detail everyone’s talking about; you might call it the Number One detail. I think this is just an unfortunate leak that’s making a huge mess. And I know I’m being a wet blanket, but reporting on this is the worst kind of yellow journalism. And even though jokes about this are a golden opportunity, I won’t do it. Not to stay the story didn’t make a huge splash; it did. It flooded Twitter. We’ll keep you up to date as facts trickle in. We have our best researcher working on it; she’s a real whiz. One thing is for sure: the President Elect is a Goldwater Republican who truly believes in trickle down. So I’m not going to make any jokes, not even a wee one. So I’m cutting it off now; I’m finished. Wait, a little more is coming out. But after eight years of listening to Trump make unsubstantiated claims about Obama’s birth certificate, I don’t think it matters if this is true or not, because the fact is, it’s out there, and that means, Mr. Trump, you’re in trouble.” – Stephen Colbert, January 11
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Top ten Donald Trump picks

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10. Vice President: Mike Pence, a man who believes homosexuality can be cured by conversion therapy, opposes homosexuals serving in the military, signed the Indiana law making it okay to discriminate against gays and lesbians, believes in abstinence-only sex education, seeks to defund Planned Parenthood, and is a Climate Change denier.

9. Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Ben Carson, the somnambulant former presidential candidate who has publicly stated he doesn’t want to work in government and isn’t qualified to run a federal agency, is a Climate Change denier, and also believes that the Pyramids of Giza were not tombs, but grain silos built by Joseph, the Biblical son of Jacob.

8. Secretary of Labor: Andy Puzder, a fast-food CEO (Carl’s Jr., Hardee’s) who is, naturally, against raising the minimum wage, and fiercely against over-regulation.

7. Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency: Scott Pruitt, a fossil-fuel advocate, a sworn enemy of the EPA, and a staunch Climate Change denier.

6. Administrator of the Small Business Administration: Linda McMahon, a professional wrestling magnate and former wife of World Wrestling Federation/Entertainment wrestler/announcer Vince McMahon, who was aware that at least 40% of professional wrestlers were illegally abusing steroids, resulting in a death rate seven times greater than the general population.

5. Secretary of the Treasury: Steven Mnuchin, a former Goldman Sachs partner, who wants to reduce corporate taxes, and has said his number one priority on the regulatory side is to strip back parts of Dodd–Frank.

4. Secretary of Commerce: Wilbur Ross, who formed International Coal Group in 2004, a mining company allowed to be set up free of labor unions, health care and pensions, and who was well aware of his Sago Mine’s safety problems before a 2006 explosion that killed 12.

3. Secretary of Education: Betsy DeVos, a fierce proponent of school vouchers that would allow students to attend private schools with public funding, and one of the architects of the Detroit charter school system, which even charter advocates acknowledge is the biggest school reform disaster in the country.

2. National Security Adviser: Michael T. Flynn, who has repeatedly fallen for conspiracy theories and hoaxes, helping to spread the rumor about Pizzagate, the absurd story that Hillary Clinton was running a secret child sex ring out of the basement of a Washington, DC pizzaria, a rumor that led a 28-year-old gunman to enter the pizzeria and fire off an assault rifle.

1. Chief Strategist and Senior Counselor: Steve Bannon, former executive chair of Breitbart News, a far-right news, opinion and commentary website (famous for such headlines as “Birth Control Makes Women Unattractive and Crazy” and “Why Equality and Diversity Departments Should Only Hire Rich, Straight White Men”), who is an admitted member of the alt-right (aka, white nationalism, a movement associated with white supremacism, Islamophobia, antifeminism, homophobia, and antisemitism).
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Top ten shows on Trump TV

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10. Touched by a Millionaire

9. 8 Simple Rules for Me Dating My Daughter

8. Mad Man

7. Arrested Developer

6. How I Met Your Mother While Cheating On My First Wife

5. Sexist in the City

4. The Fresh Prince of Hot Air

3. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Who Never Pays Taxes

2. The Blunder Years

1. The Amazing Racist
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Top ten things Obama said to Trump during Trump’s White House visit last Thursday

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10. “Do you want to see the upstairs bathroom, or do you just want to save it all ’til you shit on the Constitution?”

9. “I made history by being the first Black President. And you’ll make history by being the first orange one.”

8. “Once you’re President, how long do you think it’ll be before I get stopped and frisked?”

7. “When it comes to honesty, I know your reputation. And just to let you know, I’ve counted the silverware.”

6. “I’m gonna introduce you to Michelle now, but if you grab anything, you’re comin’ away with a bloody stump.”

5. “If you ever have any questions any time day or night, I’m just a phone call away. And my number is ‘Five-five-five…’”

4. “So I guess you’re going to take the two-word phrase ‘White House’ and stick the word ‘Supremacist’ in the middle.”

3. “I’ll tell you all the secrets about Area 51 if you’ll tell me the secret about what that thing is on your head.”

2. “So Orange really is the new Black!”

1. “It must give you great pleasure to be doin’ your favorite thing in the world: evicting a Black family from their home!”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

advicepolitics & government

A prayer for Trump is a prayer for us all

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Looking back over the weeks leading up to Election Day, as the idea circulated that response to election results might include protests, I noticed the focus was almost entirely upon candidate Donald Trump and his supporters. Little or no mention of candidate Hillary Clinton and her supporters … but then, depending upon your news sources – and your personal views – there would be no cause for complaint from that camp, come Wednesday morning.

Which brought us to that Wednesday morning, and a ‘Dewey defeats Truman’ moment for the new century. So, what is the proper response to that moment, for Clinton supporters? Via texts, tweets, blog posts and online chat rooms, I’ve heard from a number of them – their outrage over the results, their fears over what life will be like Trump in charge, their tears and their anger … and from some, a call to hit the streets and share all of that with the general public.

I’d like to propose another response for supporters from BOTH camps … prayer.

Me? I’ll be praying as someone who entered the voting booth less-than-enthusiastic about both of the major party candidates for President, prepared to take a co-worker’s advice to ‘hold your nose, lean in and press one of the buttons.’ I cast my vote … and I wish that more people across the country could say that. But now, it’s time to deal with the results.

I shall pray that President Elect Donald Trump will be a better President than I expected him to be. I pray that he will be open to new experiences and new views, and that he will learn and grow from them. I pray that he will receive good advice and good counsel from those he chooses to be part of his inner circle, and that he will also keep his eyes and his ears, his mind and his heart, open to those outside that circle.

I pray for his success as President of the United States. As current President Barrack Obama said following a meeting with Trump at the White House, “If you succeed, the country succeeds.” I was encouraged by the demeanor of both men following that meeting, and the tone of their comments about one another considering what has passed between them over the preceding years … funny how your view of someone might change once you have ACTUALLY met that someone face-to-face, looked them in the eye and shaken their hand … for all that has passed between them in those preceding years, this was their first ACTUAL meeting.

And so, I pray … and I urge all of you who are open to faith, regardless of your religion or denomination, to do the same. And remember, there will be opportunities for ALL of us to speak and work towards helping our nation succeed.

politics & government

Power is transferable

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I rarely write about politics these days, but the results of the 2016 presidential election made me think of these two posts of mine, from 2010 and 2013:

Put down the political pom-poms

Sen. Rand Paul, drones and silence

diatribespolitics & government

Don’t Be Stupid: A Plea to Humanity on Election Day

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There’s a great joke in an episode of “Absolutely Fabulous” in which one of the characters is quizzed on how many years Margaret Thatcher was Prime Minister. The choices were 11 years and 900 years. The character answered 900 because “it did seem like an awfully long time.” That’s how I’ve felt about this election cycle. It does seem like it went on an awfully long time. So I was psyched to wake up early this morning and get on line to grab this election by the (redacted). Sadly, my psychitude quickly turned to a sinking feeling of dear-Lord-what-fresh-hell-have-you-served-up-for-me-today as my fellow voters took the word “entitled” and ratcheted it up to eleven.

I’ve seen things, guys. Things no one should see. In the space of an hour this morning, I saw a group of voters melt down like the China Syndrome. (Yes, it took me an hour to vote. I live in a particularly dense neighborhood of New York City so there is always a line.) Feel free to keep reading but, for those of you who are crunched for time because you have to go vote, I’ll sum up the collective attitude for you in one paraphrase: “I have no idea how this process works but I’m still going to yell really loud because I feel like this system isn’t working! And if that’s how I feel, I MUST BE RIGHT!” [Read more →]

Mr. Sean goes to Washingtonpolitics & government

The U.S. President most like Trump is…

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Hillary Clinton is the first woman to get a presidential nomination from a major party and stands poised to become our first female leader—she would enter the White House with a spouse who’s occupied it as well. She has been in the national spotlight since 1992, a remarkably long time for any political leader—if elected and reelected, when she finally left office she would have been in the public eye for an incredible 32 years.

Yet somehow, she is not the outlier this election.

Even if you’re a Trump supporter – especially if you’re a Trump supporter – you’d agree no one quite like him has ever made it this far. I’m a bit of a history geek and I’m fairly confident these feats of his are all historical firsts for a nominee.
-Spent much of his life pretending to be Swedish.
-During a party presidential debate, defended his penis.
-Urged supporters to check out someone’s sex tape – Trump later denied doing this but the exact words he tweeted were “check out sex tape” – which, sadly for sex tape fans, did not exist.

[Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Top ten more Donald Trump jokes of the moment

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10. “Donald Trump at a rally this weekend said Hillary Clinton was exhausted and weak after the debates. Yeah, probably because you kept sniffing all the oxygen out of the room.” – Seth Meyers, 10/24/16

9. “Trump’s sniffing was caused by air being sucked into the vacuum behind his eyes.”

8. “Many news outlets are saying Donald Trump will almost certainly pivot to media and launch his own t.v. network after the election. Which means as early as next year we could see Trump TV filing for bankruptcy.” – Seth Meyers, 10/24/16

7. “Could you imagine Trump being on your TV 24 hours a day? That would be like — well, it would be like right now.” – James Corden, 10/17/16

6. “I can’t imagine why people are less excited about voting for Trump, but I guess it could have something to do with insulting women, insulting minorities, bragging about sexual assault, making fun of disabled people, making fun of military veterans, making fun of NFL players who get concussions, antagonizing fellow Republican, not releasing his taxes, not having any real political platform, banning journalists, re-tweeting white supremacists, and having hair that looks like a poorly constructed scarecrow. Other than that, I’ve no idea where he lost people.” – James Corden, 10/24/16

5. “As you know, Trump is being accused of sexual misconduct by a slew of women. Of course, that is a case of ‘he said’ and ‘she said, she said, she said, she said, she said.’” – Jimmy Kimmel, 10/17/16

4. “Donald Trump tweeted that the ‘election is absolutely rigged by the dishonest and distorted media pushing Crooked Hillary — but also at many polling places. Sad!’ Yes, even at polling places, the election is being rigged against Trump. I heard that on November 8th, millions of ‘riggers’ will be behind curtains in private booths, and with a secret ballot, collude to defeat Trump.” – Stephen Colbert, 10/17/16

3. “Trump has tweeted multiple times about the media rigging the election, and he’s right. From day one, the media rigged this election — in favor of Donald Trump. You can’t turn on the TV without seeing Trump. He’s like the Geico gecko, but more cartoonish.” – Stephen Colbert, 10/17/16

2. “Trump’s campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, said this morning that Republicans should decide whether or not they support Donald Trump and ‘stop pussyfooting around.’ That’s the worst choice of words since Abraham Lincoln said, ‘I need slavery like I need a hole in the head.’” – Seth Meyers, 10/12/16

1. “Donald Trump’s campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, appeared on Trump’s new Facebook Live show and said Trump ‘unequivocally’ will win the election. So, look out, CNN! There’s a NEW often-wrong news channel in town!” – Seth Meyers, 10/24/16
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Top ten reasons Mike Pence can never be a heartbeat away from the Presidency

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10. He is a supporter of the Tea Party movement, noting he is “a Christian, a conservative, and a Republican, in that order.”

9. Pence believes homosexuality can be cured by conversion therapy, opposes homosexuals serving in the military, opposed the repeal of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’, opposed the Employment Non-Discrimination Act which would have banned workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, and opposes same-sex marriage and civil unions.

8. Pence has consistently supported pro-life policies and opposed several sex education initiatives in schools, expressing his support for abstinence education.

7. Pence is leading the attempt to defund Planned Parenthood, and in Indiana he managed to defund Planned Parenthood’s five rural clinics, including one that had nothing to do with abortions, but instead tested for HIV and offered prevention, intervention, and counseling for better health. That plus Pence’s opposition to a needle exchange program led to an HIV epidemic in 2014. This year he signed into law a bill that banned certain abortion procedures, placed new restrictions on abortion providers, and required that aborted fetuses be buried or cremated.

6. Pence praised the 2010 Supreme Court ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission when it was announced. Pence said, “Freedom won today in the Supreme Court. Today’s ruling in the Citizens United case takes us one step closer to the Founding Fathers’ vision of free speech, a vision that is cherished by all Americans and one Congress has a responsibility to protect.”

5. Pence “does not accept the scientific consensus that human activity is the primary driver of climate change,” and, in 2001, he wrote in an op-ed that “Global warming is a myth.”

4. Pence supported the USA Patriot Act on its passage in 2001, and in 2005 called the act “essential to our continued success in the war on terror here at home.” He was a sponsor of legislation in 2009 to extend three expiring provisions of the Patriot Act (the library records provision, the roving-wiretap provision, and the lone-wolf provision) for an additional ten years.

3. On March 26, 2015, Pence signed Indiana Senate Bill 101, also known as the Indiana “religious objections” bill, into law -– a law which would allow business owners to deny services to gays and lesbians for religious reasons. In other words, no discrimination again discriminators!

2. This former anti-woman right-wing radio nutjob (1994–1999) would be the de facto President of the United States, since Trump has indicated he wants his Veep to take over all the Presidential duties, while Trump goes out and makes America great again.

1. If Pence were a heartbeat away, that would mean Trump is President! In which case: SHAME on you for not voting!!!! (Though maybe it’s not too late!)
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Top ten Donald Trump jokes of the moment

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10. “I saw that on Monday Donald Trump met with the Egyptian president in New York City while he’s in town for the U.N. General assembly. Trump said he’s always felt connected to Egypt, mostly because Trump University was a huge pyramid scheme.” – Jimmy Fallon, 9/21/16

9. “We are 25 days away from the election and Donald Trump is burning up like a meteor entering the atmosphere. Five women have come forward this week to claim he behaved inappropriately with them, touching, etc., including a reporter from People magazine and former pageant winner. Which is very bad news for his campaign. The good news is, he just got an offer to be the spokesman for Jell-O pudding.” – Jimmy Kimmel, 10/13/16

8. “During a rally in Florida yesterday Donald Trump boasted about his plans for ISIS and said he will ‘be their worst nightmare.’ Oh, wow, so he’s also running for president of ISIS? ” – Seth Meyers, 10/13/16

7. Billy Bush was suspended from his job after that video of him and Donald Trump making lewd sexual comments surfaced, “which means there is currently a higher standard for host of the third hour of the Today show than there is for Republican nominee for President of the United States.” – Seth Meyers, 10/10/16

6. “By the way, I don’t think that’s what Donald Trump’s advisers meant when they told him to reach out to women.” – Stephen Colbert, 10/10/16

5. “The man who is this close to the highest office in the land now occupies the lowest office in the land: The pervert on the bus.” – Seth Meyers, 10/10/16

4. As to Trump’s claim that it was just locker room talk, “First of all, no it’s not. That is not the way men in locker rooms talk. Second of all, this is the problem: Trump treats the entire world like the inside of a men’s locker room. And you just know he’s the locker-room type who towel dries his hair while he’s buck naked with one leg up on the bench so everyone has to avert their eyes to avoid looking at his saggy ball sac.” – Seth Meyers, 10/10/16

3. “In fact, ‘Take a Tic Tac and grab ’em by the pussy’ is the closest thing to a plan Donald Trump has described this entire election.” – Samantha Bee, 10/10/16

2. “You weren’t in a locker room, you sleazy pair of sweat socks. You were at work!” – Samantha Bee, 10/10/16

1. “I can’t wait for Wednesday’s final debate, to see if Trump accidentally blows his brains out, when he shoots himself in the foot while his foot is in his mouth.” – Bob Sullivan, Top Ten List, 10/17/16

 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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