There is this guy I know. One day he turned into Captain America. It was a quick and thorough transformation.

I’m not sure how it happened, but all of a sudden he’s the biggest patriot around. It’s all red-white-and-blue and U.S. of A. The flag means everything to him, and if you get in front of a camera and hug the flag, no matter how obviously insincerely, he’s all for you. Any questions? If so, he’s mad as hell about your lack of commitment.

The little problem here is that I ain’t seen Captain America do a damn patriotic thing yet.

He’s bent out of shape if you “disrespect” “his” flag. To him, that means you’re disrespecting “his” country. But he spends 95% of his national anthems in the beer line or bathroom hunched over a urinal or on a couch,

On Memorial Day I saw him tossing some horseshoes for a few hours before he puked in the bushes after guzzling a 12-pack of patriotic beer. He did have on a red, white, and blue tank top.

I was thinking he’d be all over Flag Day–I mean, he had the tank top–but he missed that one completely.

Fourth of July, the big daddy, Independence Day, I saw him eat 8 hot dogs and up the 12er to dang near a case (hell, it was a really patriotic year this year because Fourth of July fell on a Saturday) before repeating the bush incident.

Constitution Day has always been a tough one because he still gets that document confused with the Declaration of Independence. The transformation to Captain America did unfortunately no good in that regard.

He doesn’t do nothing for Veterans Day.

He didn’t do nothing special to commemorate 9/11 either.

Not a drop of service or a dash of remembrance.

Whatever, in his heart he’s all about the USA, even if in his head he couldn’t pass the citizenship test they give to aspiring new Americans, but he don’t need to–this is his country and his kind’ll be administering the tests, thank you very much.

Being Captain America means he doesn’t have to make any sacrifices like learning stuff.

In fact, he’s so unwilling to sacrifice, he won’t even wear a face mask lately. He’s not giving up his personal freedom.

I wonder if George Washington had come a knockin’ on Captain America’s door back in the 1700s. Is he the kind of guy who would have answered the call, who would have slept in the snow with no shoes? It’s tough to imagine. I feel like he would have said, “It’s too cold out there, general! I don’t have the time to sacrifice for your stupid war!”

But now he thinks he’s the natural inheritor of that legacy of personal sacrifice.

So he stomps around all mad, gets good and drunk on some of the big days and says stuff like, “If they don’t like it, they can live somewhere else!”

They.

Them other folks.

Not him.

Not Captain America.

Defender of the red, the white, and the blue.

Tags: politics & government, virtual children by Scott Warnock by Scott Warnock
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Now that the political conventions are over and we can get back to normal (hahahahaha–I knew I wasn’t going to be able to get that out with a straight face), I have a request: I want the bullying at White House press conferences to stop. You know what I’m talking about, and you know who I’m talking to: You question-askers better stop bullying!

Here’s a definition of bullying I found on the web: seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable).

There’s a lot packed in there, especially in the word “coerce” and in that parenthetical at the end.

What else can you possibly call it when people wearing masks–who do they think they are protecting their own health?!–ask this poor schlub at the podium specific questions about a virus?! Talk about coercion? Talk about vulnerable! They are asking someone questions about a topic that this guy has clearly demonstrated he knows nothing about, yet, when prompted, will gladly make a fool of himself in front of the world audience by answering.

For shame!

This has been going on for months and I for one am tired of it. Think about the future, when our kids and grandkids will watch these videos (oh, and there will be videos). “But Grammy,” they’ll ask, perhaps through tears, “who kept letting these people bully a poor confused guy who can’t even speak in complete sentences by asking him questions about medicine, about science, about facts?!”

Yes, our ancestors will see clearly how question-askers relished the daily ineptitude, the what would appear to be almost scripted foolishness!

He’s a sitting duck. I mean, anyone who can say something like “I know more about drones than anybody” will clearly say anything if prompted (if there is a person in the world qualified to make that statement about drones, isn’t it unimaginable that the person would actually state it?!).

These questions need to stop now because Miss Manners would say it’s not nice and none of us are learning anything anyways. Geez, what do they achieve? We all know this person knows nothing about the coronavirus. Since this has gone on for so long, we also know, at this point, that he’s not going to spend time learning either.

So you know what, you mean bullies, remember that some day we’ll all look back and wonder how a person like this got into that podium position in the first place, how a person who was the least informed in the many rooms he ventured into got to call the shots. Until then, ask nice, kind questions that won’t cause any further embarrassment.

In fact, let’s stay in his wheelhouse. Maybe start here: “If you were the coronavirus, how would you successfully market yourself?”

Tags: politics & government, virtual children by Scott Warnock by Scott Warnock
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As the rate of COVID cases in the U.S. continues to rise, I’m struck by the number of people I speak with who say, honestly, that they don’t know or haven’t heard from anyone who has personally dealt with it.

Well, if you were one of those people, the moment you started reading this, that changed. My family has had to deal with COVID-19. My wife and 19-year-old son both got sick, both got tested, and both were positive.

My son, who hadn’t been feeling well, got tested at about 10:30 in the morning and received the bad news a few hours later. My wife then went to a different testing center with my younger son; it took several days for her results to be sent to her.

My son was sick for a few days but pulled a quick, full recovery. My wife, an otherwise perfectly healthy person [of indeterminate age], was increasingly slowed up as the days went by. She had the issue/complication of losing her sense of smell. She was lethargic. She spent nearly two weeks in the front room, doing puzzles and getting furious at the news, which couldn’t have helped.

Neither of them had a fever.

Because the other half of our household, my younger son and I, showed no signs, we had to divide up the place like post-WWII Europe.

My younger son ended up being negative, but it took many days for his results to come back negative. I was going to get tested, but my quarantine status was self-isolation, and that was not going to change regardless. Plus, with the long waits they experienced at the testing center, I was reluctant to take up a testing slot for someone who might really need it, and when I did finally did call a center, the person I spoke to pleasantly discouraged me from coming in since I was asymptomatic.

I’ll get an antibody test at some point.

Many of you know our family personally. For some of you the relationship is purely digital. You should of course feel free to have your own macro views about this pandemic, about masks, about rates of infection, about data, about politics.

But if you’ve made it to the bottom of this short piece, you now can’t say, “I don’t even know anyone who’s had to deal with COVID.” If you want further reinforcement of the message, feel free to stop by. But I’ll ask you to keep your distance for just a few more days–and that’ll be for your own good.

Tags: health & medical, virtual children by Scott Warnock by Scott Warnock
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We’re all aware of some version of the problem: It’s not just that we can’t agree, it’s that we can’t even have the conversation.

You know what I’m talking about. In a way, it’s difficult to articulate–hard to find the right words to explain. You say something and I’m immediately sent spinning. I say something and you have a fact to refute it.

You’re suspicious. So am I. We’ve both heard things and have facts and sources. We both have premises. We both know a lot of stuff. Over and over, we keep having conversations that never get off the ground.

Even though we’re still connected, we know those who’ve separated from friends and family.

So let’s try something different, something kind of simple–if we’ll give it a chance..

Let’s watch the news together.

Yes, this is an invitation. In these COVID times, we don’t have to be in the same room. Let’s get on the old horn, settle down, and watch the news. Let’s flip the channels and land on one. You tell me what you see. I’ll tell you what I see. You tell me what you hear. I’ll tell you what I hear.

Then we’ll flip to another channel. You can pick the first channel. I’ll pick the second. Repeat.

Let’s present our experience to each other so we start to understand not so much what each other thinks–which all of us may be too eager to volunteer lately–but try to understand how each other sees the world.

I need to understand that if I’m asking this of you, I have to hold up my end. I can’t immediately swoop in if I hear something I don’t like. I can’t sit, ready to pounce on the perceived weakness (when you think about it, it’s amazing how many of the metaphors for these types of behaviors draw from images of hunting/attacking animals) of your argument.

Basically, I have to shut my mouth for a minute and hear what you have to say, but over the specific medium of watching the news together. So we’re freeing each other of bickering about data points and generalized conspiracies. We’re watching images on the screen and listening to the words that accompany them, and we say, “I see this. I hear this.”

We have come a long way, so we probably won’t end up agreeing. I don’t want us to argue, but we may start arguing a bit. Perhaps that’s okay, but let’s just not finish that way.

Because if we can’t even do this simple thing, take a few minutes and watch TV together, then all hope for discourse really is lost, isn’t it?

Part of me envisions a scenario in which we don’t even weigh in on each other’s comments. We listen, take our turn, and eventually turn the TV off and take conversation elsewhere, maybe to why we’ve been friends in the first place.

Then we can hang up for now.

Tags: politics & government, virtual children by Scott Warnock by Scott Warnock
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As some of you know, I have served for the past two years as President of the Global Society of Online Literacy Educators (GSOLE). My term ended just yesterday (and had been preceded by a two-year term as Vice President).

GSOLE is a hard-working group of volunteer educators dedicated to online writing and literacy instruction. Underlying everything we do is a commitment to access and inclusivity in online learning.

In that spirit, I wanted to share here the Statement on Anti-Racist Online Literacy Pedagogy and Administration that our organization composed and posted recently. This collaboratively written statement uses what I believe is strong, clear language, and by following through on the action items at the end, I hope GSOLE can continue to do its part to support accessible, inclusive, anti-racist teaching and learning practices.

Tags: race & culture, virtual children by Scott Warnock by Scott Warnock
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I agree that it should be pretty simple: My house, my rules.

But quarantine has made everything complicated. The plan was to start his journey to independence in the fall, a college frosh. Step one in a journey not just academic and professional but personal.

It was through no fault of his that it didn’t work out.

It wasn’t as if the prodigal son returned. Or the indecisive college student came back. Or we lost our jobs and couldn’t pay for college. Or he failed out. Or he graduated and didn’t have a job. Or house arrest.

It was circumstances beyond anyone’s control.

On a frenzied weekday afternoon, with an invisible, toxic shadow in the crevices of the city, he had to pack up and come home. He is back eating our food, sitting on our couch. Overall, we are glad to have him here safe.

But it can also be irritating.

Before I explain, I should point out that this is still a guy who cuts the grass when he’s asked, takes out the trash, never cusses, and even goes out at wee hours to give rides to his younger brother so we don’t have to.

But still, I now get to see the everyday life of an 18-year-old who was torn from seven months of living away unexpectedly, inadvertently back home.

Lots of giggling at TikTok. Fortnite. There is no such thing as breakfast. Somehow, during, the pandemic, he got a girlfriend. She’s great. She likes him. He likes her. I’m watching it unfold.

My wife wants to check his phone to see where he is sometimes. But he’s a generally honest guy and all I normally need to do is ask. I remember once in high school when my wife called and asked him his business and he provided what was admittedly a seemingly improbably series of steps with an improbable group of people before he came home. Well, she followed the phone path and it turned out he did exactly what he said he was going to do.

I’ve been forced to be whirled into my own past: What was I doing at 18? What would I have done at 2:00 p.m. back then? 2:00 a.m.?

I bite my tongue. A lot. We’ll wait to see as the grades come in and the resumes go out.

Again, we get along well, but I bite that tongue because there are dangerous moments with a father and son, and you have to watch what you say. The boy might try you–in fact my younger one already does that a bit.

So if I get too chippy, too, well, anything, it could disrupt what’s been a good 18-year-run.

I was lucky (?) enough to have lived with a wide range of people in my life: About 30 roommates. I think sometimes people living with adult kids forget the simple reality that it’s plain hard to live with people. Why would living with your own adult child be any different?

People across the country are dealing with the oddity of not only having had their kid abruptly bumped back home, but then also being home bound themselves.

It’s a recipe for madness, so you have to step back and realize, even in favorable circumstances like ours, that no one wished for this. It was brought upon us. Like all things, it will pass.

So we’ll bite our tongues, back off on the surveillance, and sometimes, when he wonders down bleary-eyed at one in the afternoon, say a mantra: “He’s supposed to be living away right now.”

Tags: virtual children by Scott Warnock by Scott Warnock
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This opinion piece I wrote appeared yesterday in The Burlington County Times: “Guest Opinion: The Sixers Could’ve Had Tom Brady.”

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Like everybody else (who’s smart), we’re at home, trying to work and learn and co-exist. Let’s face it: This lifestyle shatters long-term parenting philosophies. I suppose many people can toss the shards quietly into the trash, but I was foolish enough to have documented them publicly, often in this very space. [Read more →]

Tags: virtual children by Scott Warnock by Scott Warnock
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I’m fortunate to have two hands, and for a long time I’ve had a simple, straightforward policy for them: World hand, my hand. [Read more →]

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Concerns about COVID-19 are widespread. I am not an epidemiologist, so I will not make any predictions, but different sectors/segments of our culture will be tested, if not by the thing itself than certainly by the “infodemic” surrounding it. [Read more →]

Tags: education, virtual children by Scott Warnock by Scott Warnock
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I’ve been involved with wrestling since 1982, so you can imagine that I’m enjoying that my son is having a good sophomore high school season. It didn’t start out that way, though, and the journey through it reminded me that at times, you gotta get out of the way. [Read more →]

Tags: sports, virtual children by Scott Warnock by Scott Warnock
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A few years ago, I wrote about how my daughter, Elizabeth, wanted to change her major. I said that considering some of the “news” she had dropped on us, this was nothing. In fact, I wrote, eloquent as ever, that it was “No big deal.” [Read more →]

Tags: education, virtual children by Scott Warnock by Scott Warnock
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I don’t know what you did over the holidays, but I went out and became an international TikTok sensation. Kind of. [Read more →]

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Not many people love the holiday season more than me. Very few things are capable of bothering me this time of year.

On that exception list is luxury car commercials. [Read more →]

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This opinion piece I wrote appeared today in The Burlington County Times: “Guest Opinion: If you leave New Jersey, it’s your loss.”

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Conversations about the mind and sports that I have participated in over the years have tended to consist of topics like mind over body, “training” the mind, etc. Now there’s a different, and growing, dialogue: Mental health and sports. [Read more →]

Tags: sports, virtual children by Scott Warnock by Scott Warnock
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Sometimes in an unexpected, tucked-away place I’ll come across a piece of writing that hits home. Brandon Day, a veteran youth wrestling coach, wrote a piece for the Times Herald in Port Huron, Michigan, and he opens bluntly: “After 17 years coaching at the high school level, I am not a big fan of the youth sports culture in America today”. [Read more →]

Tags: sports, virtual children by Scott Warnock by Scott Warnock
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PALMYRA, NJ – Arts programming at Palmyra High School (PHS) will receive a boost of $18,000 following a Casino Night community fundraiser organized by the school’s education foundation. [Read more →]

Tags: education, virtual children by Scott Warnock by Scott Warnock
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My boys have never watched football, and I have counted this as a parental failing. [Read more →]

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This past weekend, we moved child #2, our son Nate, into college. The next stop on his life and educational path: Drexel University. [Read more →]

Tags: education, virtual children by Scott Warnock by Scott Warnock
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