Recently I have had nothing but grave news. Two weeks ago I was describing to friends how it was our hour of need as the Norskies defended the peak of the gold medal mountain in the new Cold War, in Vancouver. Then it was just last week that my clarion call was sounded regarding the now 7-year-war against wild animals (10/03/2003 — Never Forget). These two very serious issues were weighing on me heavily. And then I heard that the Earth’s day is now shorter.

The earthquake in Chile changed the axis and sped up the Earth?! What? I’m sorry, come again? Why hasn’t there been much gnashing of teeth and such? The fifth most feasible way to destroy the Earth is to overspin it until it tears itself apart! [Read more →]

Tags: black helicopter watch, environment & nature
8 Comments »

Recently, President Obama signed an Executive Order immunizing the five-person Interpol office in New York City from a handful of federal laws.

Gadzooks!

[Read more →]

Tags: black helicopter watch, diatribes
2 Comments »

In my inaugural post here at WFTC, I openly begged for a “God Helmet” this Christmas. Today, I present some gift ideas for your holiday shopping list.

[Read more →]

Tags: black helicopter watch, ends & odd
No Comments »

Get your gears off my love handles you damned dirty machines!

Tags: black helicopter watch
No Comments »

New York City’s Mayor Bloomberg was on TV recently, touting the expansion of the Lower Manhattan Security Initiative to include midtown Manhattan. Bloomberg is asking for $24 million in Homeland Security funds to complete this project.

Bloomberg cited London’s “Ring of Steel” that was erected in response to a series of IRA bombings in the early 90’s as an example of how it should be done. The closed circuit tv cameras, radiation detectors and license plate reading cameras are designed to monitor the citizens and protect them against both crime and terrorist attack.
[Read more →]

Tags: black helicopter watch, terror & war
2 Comments »

Dear Ruby,
An old friend friended me on Facebook recently and we emailed back and forth a few times. I was really excited to be back in touch until I realized that he believes in all kinds of crackpot 9/11 theories and now he is sending me links to videos and websites that I have no interest in. How do I get out of this relationship? I used to like him and agree with him on a lot of topics, but now I’m so turned off that I just cringe when I see new emails from him.

Sincerely, Defriend Me! [Read more →]

Tags: advice, black helicopter watch
No Comments »

I am not a Luddite. I love my MacBook, my iPod, and my Blackberry Curve. I have my doubts about the effects on literature and music through digitization, the Kindle, downloading, etc., but I accept the premise that, on balance, such technological progress is a good thing. I also eagerly await the progress of medical science in the areas of Alzheimer’s and hip replacement, two things I worry about. Now, a recent article in The New Scientist reports on a recent conference on Neuroscience, and proclaims, “It will soon be possible to boost human brainpower with electronic ‘plug-ins’ or even by genetic enhancement.” [Read more →]

Tags: black helicopter watch, technology
No Comments »

The week of Obama’s inauguration, White House Press Secretary Dana Perino announces a special press conference for the White House Press Corps. This will be George W. Bush’s final address as 43rd President of the United States. We go live to that conference already in progress:

“We got you good,” says Bush on-screen, smiling. He looks down to his notes.

“We’ve been making gasoline from water and old garbage since the 70’s and selling it to you. There is no shortage! National debt? Ha! We’ve paid it all off with gas money and have a surplus. We’re going to give fifty-thousand to everyone. What’s more, I recently talked with Hamas leader, Khaled Mashal, and Israeli Prime Minister, Ehud Olmert, and these two gentlemen have agreed to eternal peace. Along with Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, they will head a task force to stop terrorism and educate the Middle-East on the dangers of Islamic extremism. Say hi, guys.”

[Read more →]

Tags: black helicopter watch, politics & government
No Comments »

Nearly every morning last year I went into my office with a single intent — to write. Something. Anything. Nothing. Instead, other than the few posts made here, I have managed to play 386,427 games of spider solitaire. Sadly, I don’t win often, but I do have an impressive twelve-win run in easy mode, which is totally pathetic.

I am discouraged.

Rest assured that there is an abundance of gross incompetence, general stupidity, and blatant disregard for truth and justice in the world that I would gladly comment on. At this very moment there are dozens of diatribes dancing around in my head fighting to find a direct pipeline to my keyboard.

This is not a case of writer’s block. There are big, big, big things going on that piss me off and I, like thousands of others in the blogosphere, have opinions and judgments that I think are unique, brilliant, and deserving of being blasted throughout the universe because, well, um, I am right and you are wrong.

No, this is not writer’s block. My deserving diatribes on the big issues are not absent. My truth is out there. But unlike everyone else in the blogosphere, I am the victim of a cruel conspiracy. My rage has been stolen and broadcast as a ‘special comment’ by Keith Olbermann. [Read more →]

Tags: black helicopter watch, books & writing
1 Comment »

It won’t be long now before the post-apocalyptic future, as shown in the Terminator movies, comes to pass.

Famed technologist Ray Kurzwell is predicting that machines will have evolved enough to match man’s cognitive abilites in just another 20 years. I think he is being overly optimistic about the time we have left, based on the launch of our Overlord’s surveillance construct, iSentry.

The successful test of a hovering anti-missile device called, aptly enough, the Multiple Kill Vehicle, is just the latest nail in the coffin that is our mastery of this planet.

Combine the iSentry and an MKV with the Israeli’s new offensive robot, and you have a wonderful tool with which to control the masses!

Sure, call me a nutcase, but I swear my toaster has been acting mighty uppity.

Tags: black helicopter watch, technology
1 Comment »

I love times like these. I really do.

No, I don’t revel in human misery and I don’t derive any pleasure from watching others struggle. I do, however, look forward to the bargains I can rake in once the hype and fear have dropped to manageable levels.

The economy slumps, a terror alert is issued, a democrat is elected and winter is coming. The uncertain economic situation leads to a rise in the awareness of crime, if not the crime rate itself.

These events all lead the easily panicked to rush to the stores and stock up on nifty items like guns & ammo, generators and survival gear. They stockpile against the coming dark ages and when, as we all hope, society bounces back, they look at these panic purchases and feel guilty. They think about the nice things they could have bought with the money  and they feel guilty for falling prey to the ’sky is falling’ mentality that they had previously mocked. They don’t like to admit that they felt afraid and don’t want to face the loss of faith in their fellow man. [Read more →]

Tags: black helicopter watch
No Comments »

Inside Higher Ed recently published Why More Colleges Want Jewish Students. Jews send their kids to college at a high rate and the kids are generally smart and good students and participate in campus activities. Schools apparently believe that increasing the Jewish student population can improve the school’s overall academic standing and environment. The article examines whether this is a welcome trend that embraces a favorable stereotype or whether something more troubling is going on.

All of this might have you wondering, why is it that Jews do so well in school and are so smart? Fortunately for you, I have the answer. It all comes down to circumcision. You heard me. [Read more →]

Tags: black helicopter watch, education
10 Comments »

Washington DC September 15, 2020 — Citing the acceptance of the Sharia Courts by the Former Great Britain’s High Court as a separate but parallel legal system, The Church of Scientology filed a case in Superior Court for a ruling on the creation of a “Xenu the All Powerful Court of the Spiritually Rehabilitated.”

According to an unnamed Scientology spokesman at this morning’s press conference, the creation of this court would “allow the enlightened to face an enlightened court that would understand the challenges of the spiritually rehabilitated at various levels and fees.”

Opponents of this bill cite the widespread abuse initially reported under the Sharia Courts in the former Great Britain. Prior to the abdication of King Charles, shortly after he ascended the throne, the entire government resigned en-masse in protest when the House of Lords was closed in favor of the Council of Muslim Clerics. The newly elected Religious Leader and head Cleric of Great Britain, Mohammad Aliq Sharif, made his first act a change of the name of the nation to New Islaamabad. His acceptance speech called for an end to the “heretical so-called ‘Free Press’ and the creation of a Ministry for Public Information.” [Read more →]

Tags: black helicopter watch
No Comments »