When Falls contributor Judi Cutrone has just been informed by a reputable source (aka her sister) that because of yesterday’s inflammatory post against Jerry Seinfeld, she has been banned from several establishments and landmarks in Massapequa, NY, which is hometown to both the controversial blogger and Seinfeld, who is arguably the hamlet’s most famous onetime resident (unless you’re a big Police Academy fan).

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Tags: television
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Dear When Falls the Coliseum,

I am 8 years old and a cute, innocent little girl. My friends told me that there is no such thing as St. Patrick, and that St. Patrick’s Day was just an excuse to let grownups get drunk. Are my friends right?

Sincerely,

Virginia

Dear Virginia,

As I sit here at my computer savoring my fourth Irish coffee of the morning (top o’ the morning to you!), I can’t help but to feel melancholic about your question. [Read more →]

Tags: art & entertainment, drugs & alcohol
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In the exciting opening scene of Brooklyn’s Finest, bad guy Carlo (Vincent D’Onofrio, in an effective but too brief performance) explains to Sal (Ethan Hawke) his philosophy about “righter and wronger.” Issues of moral relativism drive this taut cop thriller, and it is sometimes hard to tell the cops from the criminals. Crisp direction from Antoine Fuqua (Training Day), compelling characters and a trio of excellent lead performances kept me completely engaged in a film from a genre I usually avoid. The film is a bit of a downer but it is exciting and enjoyable. [Read more →]

Tags: Gail sees a movie, movies
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I watched The Marriage Ref on Sunday.

This is not TiVo’s fault (I love you, TiVo, and I know you’re reading this because you can do anything. ANYTHING.) TiVo knows I’d basically lay over train tracks for Ricky Gervais and, so, it thought it perfectly acceptable to tape the latest episode of Jerry Seinfeld’s new show on NBC The Marriage Ref, where Ricky Gervais joined “panel” guests Larry David and Madonna. Larry David and Ricky Gervais in the same room? I am only human for God’s sake.

And, clearly, that’s exactly the reaction that Jerry Seinfeld was hoping for- that I would dumbly follow my comedy gods anywhere. I spent the next forty minutes wincing and burying my head in my hands.

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Tags: television
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…if, for example, you’re jogging on the beach and listening to your iPod and a small experimental plane has to make an emergency landing and the pilot can’t see because there’s oil on his windshield and he lands on the beach and you don’t hear the plane coming because you’re jogging on the beach listening to your iPod and the plane runs you over. Looked at another way, we could say that jogging can kill you, too. Or maybe it’s the combination of jogging and listening to an iPod. No, that’s not enough. An emergency landing has to be added to the mix. And a windshield covered in oil. Maybe never mind. Keep up the jogging and the listening to the iPod, since the chance of the above all happening has to be near zero. At least, the chance of it happening again. This might even be almost funny, if it happened in a movie, maybe to a villain in an action spoof of some kind — if it hadn’t happened for real, if Robert Gary Jones hadn’t been killed, if he didn’t have two children, if he weren’t just minding his business, if things that shouldn’t happen didn’t and a person’s life didn’t sometimes end like that.

Tags: music, trusted media & news
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Nobody has enjoyed a late career renaissance like Johnny Cash. The series of collaborations he made with Slayer producer Rick Rubin reignited critical interest in his work at a time when Cash believed he was destined to become a touring nostalgia act. The first of these, American Recordings is a fantastic album — raw, dark, stark, stripped down to the Man in Black’s voice and primitive guitar playing. Cash had never sounded young, and he’d always been good with death, but I was shocked by the simplicity of the first lines, the frank, naked, blasé expression of brutality: [Read more →]

Tags: music
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Two of my favorite things in the world are fine food and game shows. There is nothing I enjoy more than curling up on the Victorian settee to watch the latest episodes of “Jeopardy!” and “The Price is Right” while eating foie gras-stuffed quail with asparagus and drinking port wine. The extreme pleasure of consuming great food combined with the excitement of a thrilling game show causes the cares of the world to just drift away.

Given my love of food and of game shows, the appearance of the NBC program, Minute to Win it, should be cause for celebration. After all, it is a game show, and it is hosted by a popular figure from the Food Network.

You might think that one such as I would enjoy the Food Network. You might think that, but do not say it out loud, because if I hear you, I will remove my gauntlet and slap you across the face. [Read more →]

Tags: diatribes, television
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For many of us, our lives don’t work out the way we planned. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a plan. It’s very apropos that Lost’s “Dr. Linus” episode was named for a teacher since it taught us some very valuable lessons about who we are and what our purpose here may be. In other words, it really was all about you.

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Tags: religion & philosophy, television
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The new Iron Man 2 trailer has appeared to much fanfare, as the sheeple begin to salivate over the return of their military-industrial complex savior. Well, you’ll excuse me if I’m not excited about the so-called “super” hero known as “Iron Man.” I know he is not all the media would have you believe. I know that Iron Man, AKA Tony Stark, is a heartless businessman who cares for nothing more than the padding of his own massive bank account.

Tony Stark is more than just an opportunist and war profiteer. He’s also got a shameful secret he’d like to keep hidden. A shameful union-busting past, as stated in the explosive headline of this post.

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Tags: art & entertainment, politics & government
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“Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast,” says Alice (Mia Wasikowska) to the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp).  So have I. I believed that it would be impossible for Tim Burton to make a film of Alice in Wonderland that is: 1) not funny, 2) not dark,  3) not adult, 4) dull, even with the help of 3D effects, 5) heavy handed and 6) lacking in imagination. But, curiouser and curiouser, I was wrong. [Read more →]

Tags: Gail sees a movie, movies
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Bon Jovi is using the occasion of his latest tour to promote volunteerism, and is apparently playing this video at each of his concerts:

I think it’s obvious that anyone who would willingly attend a Bon Jovi concert is in desperate need of direction as to how to spend his free time, but that video is liable to confuse Mr. Jovi’s fans. [Read more →]

Tags: music, politics & government
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Parenthood (Tuesday, NBC, 10PM) — I got to watch the pilot episode of Parenthood (thanks to the free episode on iTunes, a plastic cup of wine and a train ride to see my mother) and I gotta say, I loved it. There was nothing to not love. It was funny, heartwarming and downright wonderful.

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Tags: Lauren Likes TV, art & entertainment, television
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10. “Is Sandra Bullock nominated for All About Steve?”

9. “I’m glad they made it ten Best Picture nominees; before, the show never seemed to drag enough.”

8. “Who’s up for Best Boy?”  [Read more →]

Tags: Bob Sullivan's top ten everything, movies, television
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I am a Julia Child fanatic. I feel so cheated that she died before I had the chance to meet her and become her best friend (oh trust me, it would have happened!). Generally I couldn’t care less about the Oscars, but this year Julia is involved (albeit against her wishes). I will be preparing Julia’s Classic Roast Chicken to munch on while we watch the Oscars, followed by her most famous dessert, the Apple Tarte Tatin. Here are a few more of my favorite J.C. menu combinations and recipes.

Enjoy the Oscars tonight and Bon Appetit!

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Tags: movies, recipes & food
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Hollywood is not fair. Anyone who tells you that Hollywood is like a giant engine and the fuel is ideas, and the best ideas are like premium gasoline and if you have a great idea you can charge $3.45 a gallon is lying to you. I know he’s lying to you on account of I’ve seen Hollywood’s dark, rotting underbelly. I’ve seen it, and it’s just revolting.

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Tags: diatribes, movies
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Whereas “Lighthouse” was all about our enlightenment, “Sundown” explored our dark side — temptation. “I can see her lying back in her satin dress in a room where you do what you don’t confess,” sang Gordon Lightfoot in his 1974 hit “Sundown.” The song is all about succumbing to temptation, hence once again revealing the double entendre that the Lost writers are so fond of using in their episode titles. When the sun goes down, man gets tempted by the dark. Why a “satin” dress? Sounds like Satan, don’t it? [Read more →]

Tags: religion & philosophy, television
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Jeff Bridges gives a brilliant and captivating performance as Bad Blake, and makes us really care about this washed up country musician. The story is not new, but Bridges makes it feel fresh. The concert scenes are exciting, the story is engaging and the milieu feels authentic. It is not a great film, but it sure is good.  [Read more →]

Tags: Gail sees a movie, movies
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“[D]o not linger over your own ruins.”

Lesser minds examining Vladimir Nabokov’s posthumously published The Original of Laura (Dying is Fun), A Novel in Fragments will be tempted to begin by quoting index card D2, page 133, in which the great Enchanter writes, “Now comes the mental image. In preparing for my own experiments — a long fumble which these notes shall help novices to avoid — I toyed with the ides of drawing a fairly detailed, fairly recognizable portrait of myself on my private blackboard.” This is a trap of course, neatly set by that great player of literary games, that the present reviewer shall neatly sidestep by instead noting that when the great Nabokov passed away in 1977 (as harrowingly related by a character purporting to be Nabokov’s son, Dmitri, in T.O.O.L.’s introduction), I was four years old, and had only just recently discovered his works. I was halfway through my second re-reading of Pale Fire – I hadn’t yet found all the clues as to the butterfly/Hazel Shade connection - and I was devastated in that way that only the near-infant fan of a great author can be when he learns his favorite author has shuffled off this mortal coil.

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Tags: art & entertainment, books & writing
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Brothers & Sisters (Sunday, ABC, 10PM) — I consistently neglect one of my favorite shows week after week and it’s simply because I’m 32 years old and like to be in bed by 10 on a school night, especially on Sunday. With Brothers & Sisters airing on Sunday at 10PM, I never watch it live… and considering this column posts on Monday at 2:00, I don’t get to write about it. So this week I’ve decided to honor B&S, stay up late, watch it and discuss. [Read more →]

Tags: Lauren Likes TV, art & entertainment, television
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10. It’s a heartwarming story about two senior citizens trying to figure out how to get their cable television to work

9. The actors were told, “Improvise! That way we don’t have to hire any writers”

8. The Motion Picture Association of America rated your film PG for “Particularly Ghastly” [Read more →]

Tags: Bob Sullivan's top ten everything, art & entertainment, movies, television
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In a Christmas-time post here at WFTC, I alluded to hyper-partisan people not having much tolerance for ambiguity. My theory is that these dullards can’t entertain — even in a brief, hypothetical sense — thoughts that stray from their specific cluster of swarm “intelligence.”
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Tags: art & entertainment, politics & government
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So, James Cameron went on The View and finally revealed that Avatar was intended as a thinly-veiled vehicle for anti-corporate and environmentalist propaganda, confirming the suspicions of Republicans, mercenaries, and unobtainium miners everywhere. The funny thing is, even though he obviously wanted to send a very specific message, what the movie ends up meaning depends on one’s point of view. You might call it a reflecting pool, or a Rorschach inkblot test, in which everyone sees the confirmation of his or her political ideology in the story. Environmentalists might see it as glorifying the beauty and sanctity of nature and condemning man’s destructive and myopic exploitation of it. Socialists might revel in its message that living without money or trade is a more fulfilling and humane existence and that profit breeds violence and coercion. Doves might see it as challenging the military mindset and imperialist impulses of American culture. [Read more →]

Tags: movies, politics & government
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Recently I interviewed a porn star. Not just any porn star, but a former Dirtiest Girl in Porn (honors get no higher). Taryn Thomas put out a XXX version of Jersey Shore — yes, this is decidedly NSFW — and in commemoration of this cultural watershed it seemed fitting to do a profile for Esquire.com. I found her perfectly charming; we’re both Jersey natives and Jersey folk have a natural bond. Due to space limits and what not, much of the copy didn’t fit and rather than losing Taryn’s comments I decided to preserve them here. I considered providing context, but these can more than stand on their own. With no further ado, random musings from a porn star:

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Tags: art & entertainment
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You’ve probably noticed that in every flash-sideways so far on Lost this season, the central character of the episode has been shown looking into a mirror. Kate looks at herself in the auto body restroom after discovering that Claire was pregnant, Locke in his own bathroom just before attempting to call Jack, and Jack looks at himself both in the airplane while noticing the strange mark on his neck, and again in “The Lighthouse” when noticing an appendix scar that he doesn’t seem to remember. The easy metaphor of course, is that we are looking at secondary versions of these characters through the looking glass. But what’s the deeper meaning for us? [Read more →]

Tags: religion & philosophy, television
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“The beast will have its day,” warns Sir John Talbot (Anthony Hopkins) in The Wolfman.  Unfortunately, it is not a very interesting day, nor is it an improvement over the day the beast had back in 1941, when the original The Wolf Man, was released.  A remake of this story could have been original and exciting, but The Wolfman is neither. [Read more →]

Tags: Gail sees a movie, movies
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Author’s note: This little story will only make any kind of sense if you’ve played the digital crack strategy game called Civilization …

“Mr. President, we have to talk about the unit.”

“What unit, Minister?”

“Remember the regiment that was forgotten in the Peltarsh Mountains?” [Read more →]

Tags: creative writing, games
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A fight breaks out at Chuck E. Cheese, a gun is drawn, and a man is pistol-whipped in the parking lot. This is probably the least disturbing thing that has ever happened at a Chuck E. Cheese. Every little kid I’ve ever seen at one of these places has been so traumatized by the freaky animatronics band on the stage, I doubt than any gunplay would even be noticed. [Read more →]

Tags: animals, art & entertainment
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10. Snowplowing

9. Speed Typing

8. Bottomless Ski Jump
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Tags: Bob Sullivan's top ten everything, sports, television
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Lost episode 6.4, “The Substitute,” has so many parallels with Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory , I am convinced that the movie can be used to reveal Lost’s endgame. While I’m sure those parallels also exist within the actual Charlie and the Chocolate Factory book, since I am more familiar with the 1971 Gene Wilder movie (having seen it dozens of times), I will make my comparisons there.  Sure, this may turn out to be nothing more than stuff and nonsense, but in the words of Wonka, “a little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.” So, let’s get to it because we have so much time and so little to do. Strike that…reverse it.

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Tags: religion & philosophy, television
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Valentine’s Day has recently passed, leaving many to look forward to next year’s bouquet of flowers, heart-splattered teddy bears and cardboard boxes full of calories. Good for you, I’m glad Hallmark/Walmart/the entire advertising industry has your continued attention, affections, and disposable income.  I, however, am left to ponder deeper, more meaningful issues. Like Phil Collins. [Read more →]

Tags: ends & odd, music
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