10. He’s older than some of the relics he’s looking for
9. His fedora now has a chin strap
8. He’s going to carry a whip in one hand and a walking stick in the other
7. It opens with him trying to outrun a runaway shopping cart
6. In the second sequence, he comes across a jewel-encrusted hip replacement
5. There’s a fight to the death atop a Rascal scooter
4. They’re changing his name to Indiana Groans
3. They’re thinking of calling the film Raiders of the Lost Keys
2. Or Indiana Jones and the Temple of Coumadin
1. Or Indiana Jones and the…Wait, What Was I Searching For?
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