10. It suddenly occurred to them, he’s a friggin’ frog and she’s a friggin’ pig!!!!
9. The Muppets contract has a ‘no fraternization’ clause
8. Miss Piggy’s parents caught their daughter with a frog in her throat
7. It was only puppet love
6. Miss Piggy just felt that Kermit was too much of a “male chauvinist frog”
5. Kermit wanted to keep their lovemaking a secret, but every time they make love, she squeals
4. Miss Piggy said Kermit had to “put a ring on it,” and he said he couldn’t afford a ring that big
3. Kermit recently converted to Judaism, so has to keep kosher
2. Miss Piggy has a fear of kermitment
1. Kermit came across a copy of Miss Piggy’s X-ray, and was totally freaked out by the fact that it looked exactly like Frank Oz’s forearm and hand!!
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.