1) Go to bed whenever you feel sleepy. I know. It’s only 3:00 PM. But your eyes hurt! Just go for it. I promise you won’t wake up until a decent hour in the morning. A nice early night. How refreshing!

2) When you wake up at 2:00 AM and are unable to go back to sleep, the solution is simple: turn on all the lights in your house! Your body will think it’s daytime, and you can just have a really long day. It’s like the summer solstice! Seize it!

3) You may find yourself faced with endless boredom and depression when you are awake in the middle of the night. Lucky for you, though, TLC usually has great marathons of Little People, Big World. These can easily kill 7 hours while you struggle with the incapacitating pain from your burning eyes.

4) You may start to feel physically ill from the lack of sleep. Don’t worry, this is totally normal. You know who else had trouble sleeping? Michael Jackson. Yeah, that’s right. The King of Pop. Feel better?

5) After a few days of nocturnal living, your friends and family may start to worry about you, and ask if you’re doing okay. The key here is to always tell them yes, and if they persist, become angry and aggressive until they leave you alone. Jet lag is your time, not theirs.

6) Pretend you’re still abroad! Problem solved. Everyone else is weird, not you!

7) If all else fails, find someone who has the flu, and have them spit into all of your food until you contract their illness. Sound extreme? Think again. With your body busy fighting a horrible sickness, you won’t even remember that you’re jet lagged!

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Tags: advice, mostly kidding by Matt Scottoline, travel & foreign lands // Add Comment »