Hoarding. It’s all anyone can talk about anymore. Have you seen the show “Hoarders?” Oh my gosh. That’s what people talk about. Everyone. All people. I’m not attempting to be a Negative Nancy (Nathan) here, but I have one fundamental problem with the entire Hoarding trend: It’s just no fun.

All of these television programs about the hoard-folk are just so darn depressing. We get it, they live in garbage. But enough already! There has got to be a better way.

I’ve spent the better part of the last five minutes trying to think of a way we can improve the hoarder formula (the Hoard-ula) to try and make these TV shows a little more fun, and way less of a downer.

What I realized was we didn’t need to change too much. I have found in my study that it isn’t the act of hoarding that is depressing… it’s just a matter of them not hoarding funny things.

Imagine turning on the show, and instead of seeing some sad-sack festering in their own dirty diapers and clock radios, they were up to their necks in Acorns! That’s funny.

I’ve made a list of a few other things. Here are some:

– Bees

– Cookies

– “Hoarders”  DVDs

The possibilities are endless. The bottom line is that I’m tired of trying to fit in with the trends by watching these shows, and then feeling bad because of it. I’m telling you, if you put together any focus group, they will take the person hoarding feathers over the one hoarding sewage any day. It’s simple science. America is ready to laugh. Enough of this. Let’s make this happen.

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Tags: mostly kidding by Matt Scottoline, television // 2 Comments »