I spend a lot of time trying to hide something, but I might as well come clean here. I have these slightly creepy, longish fingernails on my right hand. You can uncurl the top lip a little. It’s not like I am lounging on a gilded, wing-backed settee in a robe and grinning while scratching the top of a sleepy Persian cat’s head with three inches of talon. They’re just a little beyond the ends of my fingers. I play the classical guitar and the nails are how you get good sound on nylon strings. Still, it looks weird from the uninformed perspective. In the end, my nail issue sums up an awkward situation for the unknown artist in our society. [Read more →]

Tags: artistic unknowns by Chris Matarazzo by Chris Matarazzo
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I harbor a distinct antipathy toward what a friend of mine used to call “the bumper-sticker mentality,” which disdains thinking and settles instead for sloganeering.

You’ve probably seen this one: “Arms are for hugging.” This isn’t wit. It’s plain old-fashioned equivocation — taking a word that has multiple meanings and pretending it only has one. Whoever came up with this should run out right now and hug a howitzer. [Read more →]

Tags: language & grammar, that's what he said, by Frank Wilson by Frank Wilson
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A big satisfying sandwich can make a great weeknight dinner. For this Curry Chicken Sandwich recipe, the chicken can be prepared the night before and dinner can be on the table in 10 minutes. I usually serve this with some homemade potato chips, or a green salad with sliced apples.

[Read more →]

Tags: easy weeknight dinners, recipes & food by Jessica Alfreds
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I dig Wal-Mart. As much as people hate on Wal-Mart, I go for therapeutic reasons. I have been down in the dumps lately — work has been busy, money is tight, and I have spotted a few grays in my precious golden locks. But instead of going to a shrink to help me work out the kinks, I just jump in the car and go to my local Wal-Mart to make myself feel better. I cannot imagine what it costs for a session in some professional’s office to help you sort yourself out, but at Wal-Mart it’s free. (Well, it was $15.67 for the cashews, apple juice, Willie Nelson clearance priced T-Shirt, and pack of gum.) Once again, Wal-Mart has saved a consumer his hard-earned pocket change. [Read more →]

Tags: all work, fashion & clothing, Marty digs by Marty O'Connor
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I try not to make Bad Sports, Good Sports the jerk-of-the-week column every Monday, but there are too many idiots in sports that make this difficult for me. Writing this column for the past year and a half has made it clear to me that there will never be a shortage of first-class morons on which I can focus. This week, Braylon Edwards is our man. [Read more →]

Tags: bad sports, good sports by Alan Spoll
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10. “When my last roommate gave me any trouble, I just beat him with a sockful of nickels.”

9. “What’s the point of having two beds in this room?”

8. “I’m studying the flesh-eating virus, so all these drawers here are off limits.”

7. “Hope you don’t mind all the Justin Bieber posters.”

6. “Oh, Glenn Beck is like God to me!”

5. “So which are you, Team Edward or Team Jacob?”

4. “Hi, I’m Steven, but on the weekends I’m Stephanie.”

3. “Seriously, some of Al-Qaeda’s principles aren’t as crazy as they sound.”

2. “I haven’t stopped crying since I found out the Cathy comic strip was ending.”

1. “Goodnight snuggle?”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Tags: Bob Sullivan's top ten everything, education by Bob Sullivan
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‘We’re not going to die, are we Dan?’ asked my friend Joe, a CBS radio reporter, shortly before we crossed from El Paso into Juárez, Mexico, murder capital of the world. ‘Nah,’ I replied. ‘Our guide is a priest. It’s a Sunday. The narcos will respect that.’

I was lying to make him feel better. [Read more →]

Tags: terror & war, travel & foreign lands, trusted media & news by Daniel Kalder
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A group calling itself the Jerks Who Want to Tell You How to Raise Your Kids Because Your Kids are Obviously Too Stupid to Think for Themselves Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood filed a petition with the Federal Communications Commission complaining about a new show called “Zevo-3,” which is about a bunch of superheroes who wear shoes.

They’re not complaining about the fact that the show promotes an unhealthy view of the world by suggesting that all kids need to succeed is superpowers (think about what that will do to the self-esteem of the literally thousands of children who go without superpowers every day); no, what they’re in an uproar about is the fact that these totally unrealistic superhero characters wear a specific brand of shoe. [Read more →]

Tags: family & parenting, television by Ricky Sprague
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Steven Hayes testified about the 2007 rape and murder of Jennifer, Michaela and Hayley Petit and a robbery that got “out of control.” He is a defendant in the case. We at PWSBKTW see his testimony as definitive proof that there is no truth to the phrase, “There is no honor among thieves.”

Hayes and his accomplice Joshua Komisarjevsky entered the home through an unlocked basement door and beat William Petit with a baseball bat until he was a bloody mess. With dad out of the way, they moved on to mom Jennifer and daughters Michaela and Hayley. Hayes forced Jennifer to go with him to a bank to withdraw $15,000, and “when they returned Komisarjevsky had already sexually assaulted 11-year-old Michaela.”

We at PWSBKTW are pretty sure that this is bad behavior, but what happened next warms our hearts and makes us think that thieves indeed have a sense of fairness. [Read more →]

Tags: people who should be killed this week by Scott Stein
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I don’t have a clue what determines if something is acceptable on television these days. Clearly wardrobe malfunctions where a boob happens to come flying out in the middle of a Superbowl half-time show is not. We know that’ll get you a hefty fine and will force live shows to broadcast on a delay.

However, clear sexual innuendo on television is, apparently, just fine. The other night I decided not to fast forward though the commercials and watched the AXE commercial below. I immediately rewound it so I could watch it again… and again… and again. I turned to my husband and asked him, “how many guys do you think are whacking off to this commercial right now?”

The 12 seconds of silence while the host of the show circulates the two [golf] balls in her hand and then says “Wow, I can play with these balls all day” had to be the most sexually charged. But below I pulled out some other highlights… [Read more →]

Tags: television by Amy Boshnack
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