Let the TSA be our first line of defense against the disease of terrorism, and actual diseases like obesity

Let the TSA be our first line of defense against the disease of terrorism, and actual diseases like obesity

Posted on August 25th, 2010 by Ricky Sprague

America’s strength comes from its adaptability; its ability to remain dynamic and search for innovative ways to solve the problems that face us as a people. Whether it’s finding solutions to the dangers of terrorism on our airplanes, or finding ways to ensure affordable healthcare for all, our country is taking the initiative and making important decisions that will make us all safer and healthier.

Of course, there is still more we can do. That’s another part of our strength — our ability to recognize that we should always do more. There will never come a time when we shouldn’t be doing more.

We’re seeing this in Washington. Even the sweeping healthcare bill that was just passed is being made even more sweeping, because our leaders understand that laws, even existing laws, need to be dynamic, to change with the times. And times are changing. We’re not the same country we were when the health care bill was passed five months ago. We’ve grown. We’ve changed. Our laws need to change with us.

One way we’ve changed is, we’ve taken new initiative in our commercial airline safety. TSA representatives have begun using the palm of their hands, rather than the less sensitive back of their hands, to pat down airline passengers. This is a great innovation to check for potentially deadly explosive devices or weapons that could harm the other passengers on a plane. But it could also be a way to check for potentially deadly obesity.

With only a little more training than they already receive, our TSA representatives could be more than just our first line of defense against terrorism. They could be our first line of defense against illness, and spiraling health care costs.

Our leaders in Washington are still ironing out the details of the health care bill that they passed. It would be easy for them to create a provision to empower TSA representatives to provide basic medical examinations to those who are already waiting in line for their planes. Travelers are already asked to remove their shoes before passing through the security line, so it would not be much more to ask that they accompany a new TSA Medical Representative behind a curtain where they would remove their shoes and the rest of their clothing so that they could receive a brief but through examination, checking for moles, rashes, lumps, brucellosis, scabies, enlarged prostates, or other medical maladies.

Next, the passengers would step into an x-ray machine, where images of their bodies would display not only if they were carrying illegal contraband in their person, but also if they were carrying dangerous tumors or had non-specific fold-thickening of the duodenum.

These x-ray machines would be similar to the full body scanners the TSA currently employs, to great effect.

In the long run, this plan will not only help make us all safer and healthier, it will be a fiscal winner. Everyone flies; it would be easy to give people check-ups while they wait. Since they’re already at the airport, they wouldn’t have to take an extra day off from work to go to a doctor’s office, which would increase our nation’s productivity. And hiring more TSA representatives to handle the increased demand would boost our nation’s woeful employment numbers.

It would also help address the growing problems caused by the lack of access to medical care in some areas facing a shortage of doctors.

Best of all, under this plan, the costs would be borne completely by the airlines, meaning that Americans would see no out of pocket cost increases. Congress could tweak the law to include a provision forbidding predatory airlines from raising their rates to pay for this new service, in order to further protect consumers.

In return, the airlines would benefit greatly from another provision that would require everyone in America to purchase at least one airline ticket per year. We all know that preventive care is essential for keeping costs down, so everyone would need at least one TSA certified medical examination every twelve months. Encouraging everyone to take a relaxing vacation would also help improve worker morale and therefore increase productivity even further.

Congress could use one of the panels and committees created in the dynamic health care bill to set “vacation windows” for every person, as it could potentially overburden this new system to have too many people traveling at the same times.

The American people are known for their ability to think outside the box, and their willingness to comply with new regulations that will make them feel safer. They also understand that in addition to safety, our health is another of our most precious resources. For those reasons alone, combining our healthcare and airline terrorism solutions is a winning idea whose time has finally come.

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Ricky Sprague

Ricky Sprague occasionally writes and/or draws things. He sometimes animates things. He has a Twitter account and he has a blog. He scripted this graphic novel about Kolchak The Night Stalker. He is really, really good at putting links in bios.