10. You have a mirror strategically placed on the ceiling so you can watch television over the pile of junk between the couch and the t.v.
9. Your bathroom has hot and cold running roaches
8. Is cheese supposed to make noise?
7. Your Christmas tree is still up – from the Reagan Years
6. You’ve given your dust bunnies names
5. After photos of your home were posted online, you started getting Care packages from Haiti
4. When you open the fridge door, the light makes all the food suddenly stop moving
3. You’ve taken up sculpting, building your sculptures from lint and dust
2. BP Oil executives have officially declared your kitchen/bathroom area ‘unsalvageable’
1. Even Jehovah’s Witnesses won’t come inside
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.