family & parentingon the law

Child lies about getting raped… for candy

Children lie. Not all the time, and not all children. But many experiment with what lies they can get away with. Really, it is when they are children that they learn the differences between right and wrong. Between white lies and something much, much worse — and that not only are there consequences for their actions but also, that the things they do affect other people. Well, what do you do when an 8-year-old girl accuses a 10 and an 11-year-old boy of rape?

Presumably you question the children. You try to find out the details of what actually happened. And if everyone sticks to their stories then you put the boys on trial — even though they are, of course, innocent until proven guilty. I seriously can’t imagine being on either side of this equation. Who do you believe? Was the little girl violated? Did the boys really rape her?

Yesterday, in a London court room, an 8-year-old girl admitted she’d lied about some older boys raping her because they had, essentially, showed each other their privates and she was worried she’d done something naughty — and wouldn’t get any sweets from her mom. “Of course” thought the girl, “let me accuse the boys of rape and then I won’t get in trouble.” That’s my guess at her thoughts, not an actual quote by the girl. Oy!

It seems that the truth has come out and these boys will be off the hook — but how angry must everyone involved be? Could you imagine one of those boys were yours? Could you imagine the pain you would have felt for your little girl… and then the anger at learning she had been lying? I don’t even know how I would begin to deal with this if it was my kid, but I know I am going to have another conversation about lying tonight before bed!

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