advicedrugs & alcohol

The midlife crisis in this house? Nacho or Cool Ranch

Dear Ruby,
I am in my 50s and the kids have moved out. The wife and I were thinking it would be fun to smoke a joint. I’m all for it, but she says that pot nowadays is like ten times stronger than it was when we were kids and we’ll freak out or overdose or something. But I think she still wants to do it.

Do you think this is a good idea or should we just stick to beer and Captain Morgan?

2nd Adolescence

Dear Sec,
It’s not easy to find objective information about drugs online; anyone motivated enough to launch a website tends to fall into a hardcore pro or con camp.

The Drug Policy Alliance Network is interested in ending the War on Drugs, so they’re pretty much pro-legalization. But, man, if they’re a bunch of dopeheads, they sure can write a seriously footnoted website. They cite numerous medical/psychological/pharmacological studies in order to tackle their list of Top 5 Marijuana Myths on their marijuana page. According to them, potency is pretty much the same as it was in the 60s and 70s.

But, oddly, the White House claims to rebut a solid 10 Marijuana Myths and they are — maybe not surprisingly — pretty much the political polar opposite of what the Drug Policy Alliance considers myths. However, none of their myths is about potency. So, inductively or deductively, I think that means the big pro and the big con groups are in agreement that, depending on your source, pot is pot is pot.

Assuming, then, that you get your hands on some old-fashioned, garden-variety dope, let’s give it a little more thought. Moral or bureaucratic considerations aside, it is still illegal. Have you evaluated your risk of bustedness? Are you procuring from some random kid on a streetcorner or a trusted coworker in the next cubicle? Do you have any way of knowing which is a safer score? Are you in a small town where a possession rap would wreck your life or in a job working with children or operating machinery or otherwise subject to urine tests? God forbid you’re caught — just how bad would it be? Even if it’s only a minor embarassment and inconvenience, is it worth it?

From a personal standpoint, did you like it a lot as a kid? Do you think it could become a regular replacement or enhancement of Friday night cocktail hour — or is it just a one-time trip down trippy lane?

I can’t tell you what to do, Sec, but I can say that if you and the missus smoking a j in front of a good John Hughes doubleheader poses much of a threat to anyone, we’re all in a lot of trouble.

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