10. His above-seat air blower was busted and he felt really really warm.
9. He’d accidently put on his X-Ray Specs that morning, then got confused about what was acceptable.
8. He felt inspired by the in-flight movie: The Full Monty.
7. He’d been smacked in the shins by the food cart so many times, he thought this was the best way to get really noticed.
6. He heard airline stewardesses were “easy.”
5. He’d had six pre-flight cocktails too many.
4. He’s so hairy, he thought people would just think he was wearing a brown suit.
3. He’d read about that new Homeland Security camera that can see through clothes, and he thought he’d save them the trouble.
2. The PA system was so bad, he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to “return to its full upright and locked position.”
1. When the sign said it was okay to unbuckle his seat belt, he did, and then just got carried away.
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.