Come back to my place…mom won’t mind!
Is it right for a woman to hate on a guy just because he lives at home?
According to a recent survey conducted by the New York Post, 52 percent of women said that they would not date a man who was living at home. I’m not defending those kinds of guys because I was one of them as recently as early May of 2007, but rather because it’s simply not fair.
Look at the economic climate that this country is dealing with. In many situations, people of both genders are being forced to stay home for financial reasons — anyone who chooses to live there and avoid paying rent or mortgages is making the smart call. Some men might have family issues to deal with that are easier to manage when they live at home. There are plenty of well-educated, well-adjusted, bright men with great futures who simply do not have the resources to get off the ground at present time. Women can’t use the privacy as a crutch to stand on either… if sexual urges hit, why can’t they simply go back to her place?
For the record, paying rent really is a bear when you’re 26…unless you work for Bear Stearns or something, and judging by the Dow’s recent performance, more than a few comfortable folks should be tightening their belts right about now.
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You hit the nail on the head when you said, “…bright men with great futures who simply do not have the resources…”
The dating game is species survival in a microcosm.
A man who does not have the resources to support himself also does not have the resources to support a mate and that makes him less attractive as a prospect.
The solution? Those living with parents shouldn’t date until they get your resources together and move out of their parents house! The money spent on meals and movies, gifts and drinks, are better saved for a down payment on a house or first and last on an apartment.
“When somebody really likes you, wild horses couldn’t drag them away.”
That’s what my mother used to say whenever a guy I was interested in didn’t like me, or someone had broken up with me. I thought it was a little ridiculous then, but now that I’m a little older I see her point.
A woman who refuses to date a man purely based on his living situation is probably not that interested to begin with. And she’s likely pretty vapid as well.
Then again, maybe I’m just one of the other 48 percent.
When I met my husband, he was living upstairs from his parents in a two-family home in Queens, NY. I don’t remember his living situation ever being an issue for me. Why? Well, I had known him for over a year before we dated. I knew he was a “well-educated, well-adjusted, bright [man] with a great future.”
So even though he was 30, I knew he wouldn’t always be living with his parents. His relationship with them didn’t seem too inter-dependent or otherwise creepily objectionable either.
It did help that we had my place to go to if we needed privacy, however.
Ultimately, I was crazy about him. As Mom said, wild horses weren’t about to drag me away.
So here I sit 17 years later, very happily married to that man. And no, we never lived with his parents.
I believe you can only make a snap judgement about someone that you don’t really know or care about. As in “I’ll never date someone who smokes.” “I’ll never date someone who I have to pay tolls to see.” “I’ll never go out with someone who lives with their parents.”
Glenn, at some point you will meet someone and get to know her. Probably not at a bar, but through friends or an activity you both enjoy.
She will see you and want you for the well-adjusted and educated person you are, and it will not matter one bit that you live with your parents. Hopefully she’ll have someplace you can go when “sexual urges hit.”
It will be a little more complicated if she lives with Mom & Dad too, but then she will truly understand your situation.
Tina