- When Falls the Coliseum - https://whenfallsthecoliseum.com -

Secret sports parent tip: The Intensity Incantation

Posted By Scott Warnock On In sports,virtual children by Scott Warnock | 7 Comments

O my child, in your bright tiny uniform, I use this spell to transfer my aggression, my radiant energy through the ether to you.

I will crowd the sidelines of your event, your playing field, as only I recognize that in the easy suburban world this place has become a needed site of gladiatorial excess, a place for victory and domination!

Stamp I will. Beat my hands together. Cup them and yell. Stalk those sidelines. [Caster must do these things in rhythmic fashion thrice.]

Through these actions, with these words, I will project all that is pent up in me to you. I will make your little body, too joyful with its newness to the wonders of the world, surge with anger and dark energy.

O child, you will abandon your meaningless ways and strive for triumph!

Your child-like apathy toward our glorious events will be transmuted into my raw fury!

You will cease your loping, your awkward galloping, your weed-picking, and you will become a grim warrior, focused razor-sharp.

You will cease your crying. You will shed the look of shock and embarrassment on your face. You will see now, through me, the so-apparent importance of our shared endeavor.

Then we will march off the field of battle together triumphant! You will then understand the dizzying stakes!

O child, you and I will become closer. Through this experience, we will see to this wonderful thing, this success for you – and me. [Thrice more rhythmic stamping, beating, yelling, and stalking.]

[3]

Scott Warnock [4]

Scott Warnock is a writer and teacher who lives in South Jersey. He is a professor of English at Drexel University, where he is also the Associate Dean of Undergraduate Education in the College of Arts and Sciences. Father of three and husband of one, Scott is president of a local high school education foundation and spent many years coaching youth sports.