- When Falls the Coliseum - https://whenfallsthecoliseum.com -

My kid plays up

Posted By Scott Warnock On In sports,virtual children by Scott Warnock | 20 Comments

It’s important that you know this about me: My kid plays up.

I remember those early days, when she was I guess four, when we first joined the town club team. She was running around with the other kids, and I could tell she had it. She needed more. She needed to play with the five-year-olds. As a good parent, I was restless watching her out there with the average kids. I recognized that having fun with her friends wouldn’t be enough. I told her everything she needed to do every second of every game. And I know she heard me, because I said it nice and loud. But we still weren’t getting results. So I moved her up.

Eventually, by first grade, I think, I realized she needed to not only play up, but she needed a better situation. I needed to find a club somewhere and pay so she could be around better kids all the time. I wanted her in competitive try-outs, so she could push herself. I wanted to be at all the big tournaments, which always seem to be somewhere far away.

We’re talking scholarships here. I know she’s only in second grade, but we might be talking Olympics. Someone tried to tell me only a tiny percentage of people ever play a single second of college athletics [1], but I think we have something special. My wife and I agree on this, by the way.

Don’t bug me about the math. Don’t tell me that I’m going to spend more money on camps and elite clubs and special trainers and the best equipment and all that gas money than I’ll ever possibly get back with a college athletic scholarship [2], those scholarships that almost nobody gets anyway. Don’t give me that nonsense, because you’re not listening: My kid plays up.

Now, since my kid’s playing up, I don’t coach any more. I’m not going to volunteer and coach a bunch of average kids in my town while my superstar’s talent withers before my eyes. I’m just not going to do it.

And don’t ask me if she’s having fun. How can she not? On those long car rides back from practices and tournaments, I tell her how she did. Sure, sometimes she doesn’t want to go to practice, but I’ve made it clear how important it all is. She knows about winning.

So now that my kid’s playing with better players on this better team — I mean, we are loaded, and just wait till next year — instead of volunteering to coach, I sit in this nice fold-up chair I bought and watch every practice. I feel good watching some guy with college playing experience — I think — tell my kid and stars from other towns what to do. I get my kid the best. In fact, with all this driving around, I’m hardly even in my community that much any more.

When it comes down to it, I feel sorry for my community. The people, they’re not good enough for us. As I think about it all — often while sitting in my chair at halftime — I realize at some point I’ll need a better town. So eventually, I’m outta here. Community spirit, volunteering to improve where you live, investing your time and effort and money in your own town — those things are for suckers. You should come over and see my kid’s club. The parents are all so knowledgeable. They’re yelling at every practice and game. The field we play on is amazing. The uniforms are gorgeous. Once you see the whole operation, I think you’ll be impressed. All those dollars we pay add up, and we could use your money too — if your kid’s good enough.

This all has nothing to do with me, mind you. It has to do with my kid. So just make sure we understand each other: My kid plays up.

[5]

Scott Warnock [6]

Scott Warnock is a writer and teacher who lives in South Jersey. He is a professor of English at Drexel University, where he is also the Associate Dean of Undergraduate Education in the College of Arts and Sciences. Father of three and husband of one, Scott is president of a local high school education foundation and spent many years coaching youth sports.
[5]

Latest posts by Scott Warnock (Posts [7])