The government takes control of the oil crisis

Federal officials have finally gotten a handle on the oil catastrophe. No, not the catastrophe in the Gulf of Mexico, but an apparently much more important catastrophe — the olive oil ^[1] catastrophe.

Yes, while the government does nothing as millions of barrels of crude oil empty into what’s steadily becoming La Brea South, the US Department of Agriculture is setting regulations regarding what constitutes olive oil. And they say they will strictly enforce these regulations.

Lucky thing for BP that they’re not in the olive oil business.

And adherents of the Mediterranean Diet can now breathe easier knowing that the extra-virgin olive oil they put on their salad isn’t in fact just plain ordinary virgin olive oil.

Many may even sing Hosannas.

So, all those who claim that the federal government is nothing more than an inept bureaucracy that accomplishes nothing of any import will have to eat their hearts out.

With a little olive oil on top.

Extra-virgin olive oil.

Government-approved extra-virgin olive oil.