Kagan the mother of Trig Palin

Andrew Sullivan, America’s premiere investigative journalist, who once famously kinda proved ^[1] Sarah Palin was not the mother of her soi-disant son Trig — and who’s been furiously tracking ^[2] the sexual orientation of Supreme Court nominee Elana Kagan — has unearthed the startling discovery that Kagan is in fact the real mother of Trig.

“Kagan has no alibi for the night of Trig’s birth,” said Sullivan, “and refuses to answer my questions on the subject. What is she trying to hide? Could this whole ‘is she gay?’ thing be nothing more than a smokescreen to hide the real truth? Like all my allegations, it’s true until proven otherwise.”