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Bad sports, good sports: Why I hate Super Bowl halftime shows

Everyone watches the Super Bowl, right? I guess I don’t need to ask. Last year’s game fell just short of 100 million viewers. That’s a big number. From the endless pregame show to the commercials to the game itself, it’s all quite a spectacle. I usually enjoy it, although I enjoy it more if I have some kind of rooting interest. Since the Eagles have only made it to the Super Bowl twice in my lifetime (I’m 41), my rooting interest is usually borne of a dislike for one of the teams, as opposed to an actual affinity for anyone. Still, I enjoy the Super Bowl as much as the next guy. You know what I don’t enjoy, though? The halftime shows.

Who came up with the idea that a concert was a good idea in the middle of a football game? I assume the roots of this phenomenon are in the marching band performances that regularly occur at halftime of high school and college football games. I don’t like those either, to be honest, but they don’t really bother me. They never make you watch that stuff when the games are televised, as the broadcasts normally switch to a studio highlights show of some kind. The Super Bowl halftime show, though, is always some kind of big deal, advertised constantly in the weeks leading up to the big game. The truly amazing part of it, though, is how often the show disappoints. This year, we had to sit through The Who. Actually, it was the half of The Who that is stil alive. Roger Daltrey and Pete Townsend, looking every bit the senior citizens that they are, mugged through a medley of their hits, the most recent of which was on the charts a mere 32 years ago. Neither of them had the range to hit some of the notes in those old songs, and Townsend’s windmill-guitar style just looks silly when performed by a 65-year old man. Teenage Wasteland, guys? I’m guessing you don’t even remember your teenage years.

Halftime itself ends up being at least twice the length of the usual halftime. The players, meanwhile, are in the locker room, waiting to get back out there. It never makes much sense to me to run the games a certain way all season long, and then, in the biggest game of the year, things are different. If there was a good reason to do so, then okay. To force us to watch the latest in Old Folks Rock, though (the average age of the last 6 acts is 60), doesn’t qualify as a good reason in my book. There has to be something better they could put on. How about the Puppy Bowl? That’s always fun.

Bad sports, continued:

2) I don’t like Lane Kiffin. This isn’t news… I have talked about him before. He is everything I don’t like about college football. OK, not everything. He’s not responsible for the lack of a playoff, which is really the main thing I don’t like about college football, but outside of that, he’s a big negative. This week, he offered a scholarship to a 13-year old kid [1]. That’s right, an eighth grader now has a scholarship offer to USC. The kid, David Sills of Delaware, accepted. He’s a quarterback, and he does appear to be very talented. Still, there should be rules about this kind of thing. Maybe Kiffin can scout the elementary schools next.

3) Talk about awful people. A woman from Bellefonte, Pennsylvania, was arrested and charged with embezzling money from the local little league [2] for which she served as treasurer. Amy Walk allegedly stole almost $6,000 from the Bellefonte Little League to pay her own bills. Quite a lesson for those young baseball players.

4) It’s nice when we can count on bad guys to do bad things. Former Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin has always been a bad guy, and it appears he’s not improving with age. He was sued this week, accused of raping a woman back in 2007 [3]. He has counter-sued, so I guess I shouldn’t assume that he is guilty. His history makes it easy to believe he is, though.

5) Continuing that theme, Warren Sapp, another former NFL player with a checkered past, was arrested and charged with domestic battery [4] after allegedly choking his girlfriend in a Florida hotel. Granted, Sapp’s past issues were more of an obnoxious nature than a lawbreaking nature, but he was certainly never a role model. Looks like he decided to step it up a bit.

6) Rounding out the delightful stories for the week is Dennis Zeglin, of Randolph, NJ. He was arrested for shooting and killing his pet parrot [5] with a BB gun because the parrot’s squawking was distracting him from the NASCAR race he was watching. Fantastic. It had to be NASCAR, didn’t it?

Bad Sports, Good Sports appears every Monday

Alan Spoll is a software quality assurance director from the suburbs of Philadelphia where he lives with his wonderful wife and children. He has spent his entire life as a passionate fan of the Eagles, Phillies, Sixers, Flyers, and Penn State. Recent Phillies success aside, you will understand his natural negativity. Follow me on Twitter - @DocAlan02