Yeah, right

Five quotes stood out for me this week. Five public statements to which the only reasonable response could be, “Yeah, right.”

5. “I wish I’d been a better friend,” Casey Anthony ^[1]. I guess being a “better human” is just a little too much to ask.

4. “You already give to Haitian relief — it’s called the income tax,” Rush Limbaugh ^[2]. See number 5.

3. “It was wrong for me ever to deny she was my daughter and hopefully one day, when she understands, she will forgive me,” John Edwards ^[3]. I think he meant to say, “I don’t understand why this worked for Strom Thurmond ^[4] and not me. I am totally cuter.”

 

2. “My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that. And so what you’ve got to do is you’ve got to curtail that type of behavior. They don’t know any better.

“I can show you a bar graph where free and reduced lunch has the worst test scores in the state of South Carolina. You show me the school that has the highest free and reduced lunch, and I’ll show you the worst test scores, folks. It’s there, period,” South Carolina Lt. Governor Andre Bauer ^[5].  Eating. Right. You’ve got to curtail that type of behavior. 

And my number one “Yeah, right” of January 2010?

1.  “He no longer has those compulsions,” Gayle Haggard ^[6]. Oh, honey. Did you and Elizabeth Edwards and Jenny Sanford and Suzanne Craig pledge to the same sorority at the University of Nofreakingidea? Was it, by any chance, in South Carolina? And thinking back, did you happen to notice a lot of extra food lying around?